I finally figured out the secret to 'how to be secure as a man'.

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

@mr_engineer You were caught creeping on girls? Where is that coming from?

Read the whole thing in detail.

[mr_engineer]

4 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Its fault of lack of men who wont be upfront with a woman from the start looking to manipulate her into a bedroom or what other real creepy things they do i dont want to know.

Name of the game is that she wont trust you in the beggining she has to protect herself if you cant understand it and deflect all your blame on her then ofcourse by that definition she wont feel safe around you.

The proper way for her to handle the situation is to establish rapport with you without jumping to conclusions. Maybe she's jumping to conclusions cuz her social-skills suck! That's also a possibility that we never consider. 

Why is it always your fault that she feels unsafe?! It's ALWAYS the man's fault, they make a woman's feeling-state his fault, somehow or the other. Of course, we have to deflect when we're faced with this onslaught of blame, criticism, accusations! 

So, what is the proper way for a woman to protect herself from actually dangerous people? When you establish rapport, you see who the other person is. Whether they're narcissistic or whether they're properly communicating. 

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

13 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

And, there are too many pick-up rules that are just simp-rules

 just catering to women's paranoia, just to protect yourself from this situation.

Fine, maybe it is prudent to follow them.

But, just understand who's really responsible for their existence.

It's not your fault that you have to prove that 'you're safe' to a woman, that women are walking around paranoid all the time.

You are not a sex-offender. And when the world doesn't believe you, you have to deflect the shit that your enemies throw at you. 

???? 1. Women value 'safety'. It's all they ever talk about. I always hear them use that word. In every situation.  You can't change it. Walk by little girls as if they are ghosts. I don't even acknowledge their existence when they try to speak to me. Only a woman/female can speak to kids.

2. All games have rules. Life is a mind-game.

Edited August 5, 2023 by MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI

[mr_engineer]

12 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

1. Women value 'safety'. It's all they ever talk about. I always hear them use that word. In every situation.  You can't change it. 

Why is it a man's fault that they don't FEEL safe?! It's always about the feeling, not the objective reality that most men are well-intentioned human beings. 

Most of the criticism of 'male behavior' is bullshit. The reality is that women's paranoia makes it so they're tapped out of the objective social reality and this makes them uncalibrated. 

12 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

All games have rules. Life is a mind-game.

Well, we're changing the rules for this one. 

You know what?! Women's paranoia is their problem. I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm not following any stupid social rules just to 'make them feel safe'. All you get is shit-talk from them. Caring about women's safety is a really thankless task. I don't want to do it anymore. I won't explicitly do anything bad but doing the good stuff is just not worth it either. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Because you dont have game you are too focused on women and not yourself,its on you not her everything is on you, how things gonna be,you just adjust to the situation this talk wont get you anywhere...

If they call you creep see what you did adjust move on...if it happens often its you and mostly its you..

And if outside definse you then talking to women will be hell and thats the point...

Edited August 5, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[mr_engineer]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

@mr_engineer Because you dont have game you are too focused on women and not yourself,its on you not her everything is on you, how things gonna be,you just adjust to the situation this talk wont get you anywhere...

If they call you creep see what you did adjust move on...if it happens often its you and mostly its you..

Alright. More shit-talk. 

How do we address this? More deflection! 

Because YOU'RE not socially calibrated, YOU don't see how women throw this term around willy-nilly destroying the lives of good men. And you're being a simp and not acknowledging the mistakes that they're making. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Because men are putting all accountability on themselves not women...

Deflect but change title to how to be secure as a male not a man...

[mr_engineer]

4 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@mr_engineer Because men are putting all accountability on themselves not women...

Deflect but change title to how to be secure as a male not a man...

More shit-talk. 'The title is wrong'. 

My answer - If a woman hits a man on the head with a lead pipe, he will bleed and die. Being a 'man' doesn't mean that you can't get hurt or screwed over by women in a very bad way. Cold-approach has its risks and you have to stay safe yourself as a man. So, I don't agree with your title-change. 

Now, I'm secure. Now, you can't get through to me!! This is working. I strongly recommend anyone who's struggling with the prevalent criticism of men to do this. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Miguel1]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

You approach a girl, she says 'Ew, you creep!'

I don't remember the last time a girl said this to me. It's possible I have never even gotten this.

If you are getting this, then you are doing something badly wrong, as a man, in the approach itself.

But anyway, even if I did get this, my response would be, depending on my mood, something like "Well, you better run '', or "Yes, and proud of it. '', and walk away to approach another girl in front of her (in a fun, properly calibrated way, like a proper man).

--

Getting triggered and defensive over this is similar to if someone called you a horse, or an alien (alien rat), or a house, or a car... You would not care, simply because it is not true, and you would laugh it off. For me it would most likely (unless I am in a heavy, negative space) actually come across funny if someone called me a horse: '', what makes you think that? Do I look like a very fast runner?''

Basically, you get triggered and defensive only because it is At Least somewhat true. Especially during a social and fun situation.

And finally, you mention that you don't want to ''reward'' their bad behavior. Well... When you get triggered by these lower-conscious, negative people, you are actually giving them exactly what they want: your ego getting poked.

Ignoring them and moving on is the best punishment.

[mr_engineer]

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

I don't remember the last time a girl said this to me. It's possible I have never even gotten this.

Then you are lucky. 

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

If you are getting this, then you are doing something badly wrong, as a man, in the approach itself.

Says the privileged person who has never had this happen to him. 

Note how you never made it about her doing something badly wrong, you made it about the man. This is shit-talk and it is because you live in la-la land in which you believe that life is all rainbows and butterflies and women are all angels. 

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

But anyway, even if I did get this, my response would be, depending on my mood, something like "Well, you better run '', or "Yes, and proud of it. '', and walk away to approach another girl in front of her (in a fun, properly calibrated way, like a proper man).

She'll diss you in her friend-circle and your reputation will tank. What then? 

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

Getting triggered and defensive over this is similar to if someone called you a horse, or an alien (alien rat), or a house, or a car... You would not care, simply because it is not true, and you would laugh it off. For me it would most likely (unless I am in a heavy, negative space) actually come across funny if someone called me a horse: '', what makes you think that? Do I look like a very fast runner?''

It's not illegal to be those other things. If someone called you a thief and had a receipt for the watch that you're wearing, with their name on it, the police will believe them. No matter how fake that receipt might happen to be. 

Our procedures for proving 'guilt' are totally skewed against men on this front. 

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

Basically, you get triggered and defensive only because it is At Least somewhat true. Especially during a social and fun situation.

A friend comes to you, slaps you in the face. Then, when you get triggered and defensive, he says 'it's cuz you're a pathetic little weakling. You wouldn't have cared about this slap if you were big and strong enough, you little bitch!' 

18 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

And finally, you mention that you don't want to ''reward'' their bad behavior. Well... When you get triggered by these lower-conscious, negative people, you are actually giving them exactly what they want: your ego getting poked.

Ignoring them and moving on is the best punishment.

Good luck ignoring it when the police violently interrogates you to ask you 'Confess!! What have you done?!' 

P.S. This deflection-strategy is excellent to deal with simps/enablers of women's dysfunctionality. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Miguel1]

@mr_engineer All this is doing exactly what you are trying not to do: you are giving the women too much value and power.

In a fun social situation, treat the girls as silly girls. How would you treat your 13-year-old little sister (aside from the sexual part)? It would be all fun and games. Silly stuff, non-serious. Lots of teasing and playfulness.

This is how you truly don't give them too much power. What you are doing now just seems like that on the surface, but deep down you are boiling. It is just the function of Fake Confidence. Not True Confidence. True confidence comes from the core.

--

Seems like you are just in a vulnerable place and I understand because game can be brutal (understatement), especially in the beginning.

Just understand this: generally, the less you care, the better results you will get. It is very counter-intuitive.

The tricky part is how to get to the less-caring stage, as a beginner. Well, a massive amount of approaches (hard work). Faking it till you make it can also be a very powerful tool when used in a healthy way.

Basically, you want to get to unconscious competence. You are probably at the stage of conscious incompetence right now:

1. Unconscious incompetence

2. Conscious incompetence

3. Conscious competence

4. Unconscious competence

Just like learning how to drive a car. A ton of hard work at first, until it becomes second nature.

[mr_engineer]

19 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

All this is doing exactly what you are trying not to do: you are giving the women too much value and power.

To be clear, I'm not hating on women here. Women are people and people are dysfunctional. I get that. 

My issue is with the simps who say 'women can do no wrong, so if any conflict with women occurs, it's your fault'. No, it's not! That's where you use deflection. You tell the simps that 'you think that because this, that and the other thing is wrong with you'. They use this deflection-tactic all the time. You use that back on them! 

The reality is that women have a lot of power. Because there is no shortage of simps and white-knights. No, this is not a game-issue, this is a societal trend in which women are put on a pedestal and everything they say goes. 

32 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

In a fun social situation, treat the girls as silly girls. How would you treat your 13-year-old little sister (aside from the sexual part)? It would be all fun and games. Silly stuff, non-serious. Lots of teasing and playfulness.

I would much rather have it be straightforward. Where you say 'Hey, this is my name, this is what I want. Are you down?' And this is not societally judged as bad. It's the white-knights and simps that make it bad. 

All of this 'teasing and playfulness' is a big waste of time. We have real problems, real loneliness, real emotional-needs to meet. Just talk in a straightforward manner and get this done. Dating sucks because people aren't being straightforward and honest about what they want. There's nothing fun about beating around the bush anyways. 

33 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

This is how you truly don't give them too much power. What you are doing now just seems like that on the surface, but deep down you are boiling. It is just the function of Fake Confidence. Not True Confidence. True confidence comes from the core.

Yupp. If you are angry at anything that goes wrong in society, that's 'fake confidence'. Not 'true confidence'. Cuz anger can never come from the core. 

36 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

Seems like you are just in a vulnerable place and I understand because game can be brutal (understatement), especially in the beginning.

Just understand this: generally, the less you care, the better results you will get. It is very counter-intuitive.

The tricky part is how to get to the less-caring stage, as a beginner. Well, a massive amount of approaches (hard work). Faking it till you make it can also be a very powerful tool when used in a healthy way.

Basically, you want to get to unconscious competence. You are probably at the stage of conscious incompetence right now:

1. Unconscious incompetence

2. Conscious incompetence

3. Conscious competence

4. Unconscious competence

Just like learning how to drive a car. A ton of hard work at first, until it becomes second nature.

In my opinion, there shouldn't even be any 'game'. Why should I have to play 'games' to just be myself?! What are 'social-skills', even?! Being yourself is a 'skill' now?! Come on. It's all shaming-tactics because women can't get their heads straight. Everyone, please grow up and talk straight cuz this is getting old. 

[TheCloud]

3 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

All of this 'teasing and playfulness' is a big waste of time. We have real problems, real loneliness, real emotional-needs to meet. Just talk in a straightforward manner and get this done. Dating sucks because people aren't being straightforward and honest about what they want. There's nothing fun about beating around the bush anyways.

 

Your emotional needs, including loneliness, are your own to meet.  What you're trying to accomplish using women is your issue.  It's not that women can help other men with their loneliness, but they can't help you;  it's that no one can really help you against your own emotions.  Sure, you can put off dealing with your loneliness if you find a woman to distract you, but if your loneliness is deep and abiding, it will creep back in no matter what she does for you.  In fact, it will come back worse than ever.  Then you're in a situation where you blame her for what she won't (can't) help you with.

 

I know it sounds like crappy advice, telling a person who's already lonely that they are in it alone.  That's just a hurdle anyone and everyone has to mount in order to actualize themselves.  It's what you have to overcome to become a fountain of abundance, rather than a black hole of need.

 

Otherwise, I think your suggestion that we accept criticism too easily is on point.  I think it's a toxic side-effect of deeply unprocessed loneliness.  People become so desperate for a solution that they'll helplessly accept anything other people suggest, even things they logically know are unreasonable, if only it means that someone will finally be with them.  This doesn't lead to the loneliness going away, it just leads to accumulated damage.  I don't know about your methods for dealing with it, but certainly accepting unfounded or bad-faith criticism is a real problem.

Edited August 5, 2023 by TheCloud
clarity

[mr_engineer]

@TheCloud You're telling men that 'your loneliness is nobody else's problem, you have to 'man up and solve it yourself'. The modern world has no solutions for you, the modern world does not give a fuck about you, for that, you have to become a 'fountain of abundance'' (whatever that means). 

Would you say the same thing to women who are lonely? 

P.S. Women, if you're paying attention, this is the shit we have to deal with on a daily basis. So, please don't give us any more hate, we're suffering a lot. There are no 'male spaces' for us, this is what the 'male spaces' are saying to us. 

Being a man in the modern world is a terrible fate, it sucks. Pets get treated better than this. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[TheCloud]

27 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@TheCloud You're telling men that 'your loneliness is nobody else's problem, you have to 'man up and solve it yourself'. The modern world has no solutions for you, the modern world does not give a fuck about you, for that, you have to become a 'fountain of abundance'' (whatever that means). 

Would you say the same thing to women who are lonely?

I would say the same to women.  Women who cling to men (or children) to solve their own loneliness are just digging their own graves.  That's how battered wives and single mothers and helicopter parents happen.  It's a lot worse than ending up an incel.

 

Sure, women have power over men, but it's a soft power.  It's the power of men's desire for them.  If a man doesn't want them, that power goes away, and there's not much they can do.  They don't have the force to fall back on that men do, or at least they aren't as enabled to use force as men are, just as men are not brought up to use the power of appeal the way women are.  Sure, you might not hit a woman, but you know you could, and so does she.  Where there's power, there's someone who fears it, and she can fear violence just as surely as you might fear rejection.  Some women might use a "first strike wins" mentality and undercut you by calling you a creep.

 

So yes, everyone has to resolve their own deep-seated loneliness.  It's not a gendered issue.

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

Right now, we have a whole bunch of media that's spreading man-hate. Everyone who says anything about men has way too much negative shit to say about men and zero good things.

This is your warped perception because of the skewed way in which you consume media. Your mind is cherrypicking data to fit whatever biased, self-serving worldview you wish to sustain.

I consume enormous amounts of media and man-hate is almost nowhere to be found.

Stop consuming red pill, blackpill, manosphere content. It is slowly poisoning your mind. Positivity is what you need. Cut out all the negative victom narratives.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Jayson G]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This is your warped perception because of the skewed way in which you consume media. Your mind is cherrypicking data to fit whatever biased, self-serving worldview you wish to sustain.

I consume enormous amounts of media and man-hate is almost nowhere to be found.

Stop consuming red pill, blackpill, manosphere content. It is slowly poisoning your mind. Positivity is what you need. Cut out all the negative victom narratives.

The only man-hating I've ever really come across, which I also noticed is a little, is from women who have had a constant stream of actual bad experiences with men, usually really pretty girls

[Leo Gura]

I have talked to thousands of girls and I cannot remember a single man-hating thing said. Girls do not go around hating men. This is such an absrud and delusional notion. Such a notion could only come from online manosphere ideology.

[mr_engineer]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I have talked to thousands of girls and I cannot remember a single man-hating thing said. Girls do not go around hating men. This is such an absrud and delusional notion. Such a notion could only come from online manosphere ideology.

It is actually really PC nowadays to hate on men. A lot of wokesters hate men, saying 'men are trash', etc. 

David Deida fans also hate on men, saying that 'if you need anything from a woman, you're the problem, you're not in your 'Divine Masculine'', etc. 

Most dating-advice for men just trashes men, saying 'men are weak these days, good times create weak men', etc. 

Feminists, well, we all know what they say, right?! Toxic masculinity, blah blah blah. 

When I was in graduate school, a girl from my class used the term 'mansplaining' unironically in class to describe what the professor was doing. 

If the entire world hates you for just existing, are you really the problem?! Or, is there something terribly wrong with the world you exist in?! The only way to be secure in a world that hates you, is to learn to deflect. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

It is actually really PC nowadays to hate on men. A lot of wokesters hate men, saying 'men are trash', etc. 

David Deida fans also hate on men, saying that 'if you need anything from a woman, you're the problem, you're not in your 'Divine Masculine'', etc. 

Most dating-advice for men just trashes men, saying 'men are weak these days, good times create weak men', etc. 

Feminists, well, we all know what they say, right?! Toxic masculinity, blah blah blah. 

When I was in graduate school, a girl from my class used the term 'mansplaining' unironically in class to describe what the professor was doing. 

This is all manosphere dogma. That's all this is. You have no actual experience talking to women face to face or relating to them. You have cherrypicked online stories which you've woven into a victim narrative.

Please stop consuming manosphere content. It is poisoning your mind with negativity. You will never teach happiness that way.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Leo Gura