Confessions After 4 Years of Pick Up

[Shakazulu]

I started pick up at 20 years old and I’m 24 now, in the last 4 years I’ve approached 400+ woman, I’ve learned a lot about myself, made huge improvements, had fun experiences, learned what I want from a relationship /what works for me and I believe the next step is getting in a successful monogamous relationship with a woman I love. 
After doing pick up along with enlightenment work I realized that I struggled with romance earlier in my life because when I was 4 I was sexually abused. It made me grow up feeling unloveable.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPg9qYMjE3Q

 

[manuel bon]

I genuinely appreciate the courage to share this traumatic thing you have lived. I was never sexually abused, but I know how hard it is to share something this difficult.

It is great that you still managed to go out there and start pick-up, even after what happened.

wish you lots of growth and happiness!

[Shakazulu]

@Raze this is a different perspective !!! I always thought it’s time to have a girlfriend when you have a lot of girls to choose from. 

[Shakazulu]

@manuel bon thank you brother! One day we’ll laugh at this ?

[Ulax]

@Shakazulu You the man bro.

I had a friend who was sexually abused when he was a kid and did pick up too. I saw how devastated his psyche was from it but he managed to transform himself, both externally and internally. Your story here reminds me of him.

So, major respect to you dude. And I wish you all the best going forward.

[Shakazulu]

@Ulax thank you! It’s  interesting to know there’s others who’ve experienced the same. 

[hyruga]

You are a guy. What's there to be sexually abuse about?

Edited August 2, 2023 by hyruga

[Leo Gura]

Most guys who get into pickup have some kind of developmental block. Of course trauma is common.

[nhoktinvt]

i got into pickup to make myself more masculine and sexually healthy, i think pickup (without the bad stuffs) is a natural and healthy way to solve the problem of getting laid (with mature girls) which will make society a more healthy and loving place (i think).

[Shakazulu]

@hyruga what do you mean? 

[Shakazulu]

@Leo Gura I’m realizing this truth more over the years. 

[Shakazulu]

@nhoktinvt haha life is a maze and we all have our reasons why, the important thing is growing past our life challenges. 

[Princess Arabia]

15 hours ago, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPg9qYMjE3Q

 

I ended up listening to this in its entirety. Very interesting insights.

Edited August 2, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Shakazulu]

@Princess Arabia a lot of it is true. If you have a player persona, loyal mature woman don’t commit to players. I thought it was the opposite, moral woman fall for asshole/player types. 

[Princess Arabia]

31 minutes ago, Shakazulu said:

@Princess Arabia a lot of it is true. If you have a player persona, loyal mature woman don’t commit to players. I thought it was the opposite, moral woman fall for asshole/player types. 

When I was much younger, I used to be attracted to the player types, but I was just having fun and partying. As I got older, the player types are actually a turn-off for me, because I can see right through most of their bullshit. I'd rather a player be upfront with their intentions than to try to squirm and weasel his way with me because nothing he can say to me will make me sleep with him other than if I want to or not regardless if he's a player or not. 

The men that I find attractive now are the ones that can stimulate me mentally in an intellectual way and that I can hold interesting conversations with, but also have a sense of humor and are not too serious about themselves and have a deep respect for women. My type now is not the type most men think I would like. It has little to do with the physical and more with the mental aspects. 

Edited August 2, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Shakazulu]

@Princess Arabia interesting, so what a woman finds attractive is based on how old she is and where she is at in life? 

[kamill]

Can you learn a lot from doing 400 approaches in period of 4 years ? 

Its like doing an approach once every 4 days. Iam just asking was it enough? 

I remember I used to do it in a month.

[Shakazulu]

@kamill lol 400+ approaches and it didn’t happen in that manner, some days I would go out and meet 10 woman, sometimes 15, sometimes 5, sometimes 20, sometimes 1 I stayed consistent and went out on a weekly basis. 

[Princess Arabia]

30 minutes ago, Shakazulu said:

@Princess Arabia interesting, so what a woman finds attractive is based on how old she is and where she is at in life? 

Yes, I believe so. I'm very spontaneous and free spirited, which has it's positive and negative aspects, but overall I'm more attracted to guys who are more grounded and has a sense of masculinity, but not in a macho way who is very dominant or over-bearingly aggressive, somewhere in the middle to be able to handle my strong personality, while at the same time able to bring out my femininity where we balance each other out. I'm very flexible and open to different types of personalities but do have a baseline which I will not cross or veer from and that is a respect for me, women and people in general. 

Of course, we're not perfect and sometimes survival mechanisms get in the way of our judgements and how we respond to others and situations, and even myself can get disrespectful at times, but I'm speaking overall mannerisms and behavior, it should be your dominant characteristic. I highly value  respect for others because it shows a sense of care and not just out for yourself without regard for the feelings of others. I guess being an Empath myself is where this comes from.

All this came with more maturity.

 

 

 

Edited August 2, 2023 by Princess Arabia