Talking to girls at raves

[Leo Gura]

@Karmadhi It just sounds like you are already satisfied with that part of your life, so move on other things.

Pickup in mostly for guys who really struggle with girls or socializing, or guys who want to sleep with tons of girls, or guys who want exceptionally hot girls. If none of that suits you, then you probably won't be in pickup for long.

Edited August 7, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Karmadhi]

23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Pickup in mostly for guys who really struggle with girls or socializing

I do struggle with very very specific things like going in for a kiss with a girl, sexual escalation, basically everything very physical that you do from the moment you decide to kiss. However it is not that difficult for me to get a girl to want me to kiss her. Verbally I am happy with myself. I am not this super smooth PUA guy but I am happy with my level, it is not what causes me frustration but the stuff above. Lacking that killer instinct and ruthlessness. Like a hawk.

I am weird I know.

Edited August 7, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

@Karmadhi That means your game is pretty weak and could use a lot more work.

I suggest you drop the expectation of pickup transforming other areas of your life. Just enjoy doing it for what it is and you will have fun and learn new things. Pickup is best when you turn it into an adventure and make it as fun as possible for yourself.

My best memories of pickup is all the crazy adventures I went on and all the fun I had. Not the sex.

Edited August 7, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Karmadhi]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

That means your game is pretty weak and could use a lot more work.

I suggest you drop the expectation of pickup transforming other areas of your life. Just enjoy doing it for what it is and you will have fun and learn new things.

Parts of my  game are pretty weak, parts are ok, parts are decent. I do not care about rotation, fucking anything hotter than a 7 nor having a high laycount so I do not care about having a high level. More about improving the lagging parts which I wrote above. A 6/10 decent looking kind girl would make me happy, I am not very ambitious about this domain.

I know guys that are extremely boring and lame that manage to get girls. That always baffled me.

But ok if this is just for my dating life and no spillover in my case then thanks for telling me. That is the info I wanted to know.

[Emotionalmosquito]

12 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Have fun in the interaction, make it enjoyable for you (i mean why you socialize after all)

 

Everyone keeps saying that. For the last time, it doesn’t work that way! I wish it was that easy but unfortunately it’s far from it. It doesn’t matter how much fun you’re having, if the other person isn’t enjoying themselves as well, the interaction dies. For this reason, you have to sacrifice what you find fun and humorous for what they’re comfortable with. You gotta remember 95% of the planet is nowhere near as open minded and chill as we are so you can’t just be yourself like it’s no big deal. It freaks people out.

[Emotionalmosquito]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Pickup in mostly for guys who really struggle with girls or socializing, or guys who want to sleep with tons of girls, or guys who want exceptionally hot girls.

This describes me perfectly. Except I don’t need the girls to be exceptionally hot (although that would be great) At least equal to me in attractiveness is good enough. It’s literally the only thing I want anymore, family, friends, career, money, adventure, self care, spirituality, freedom, love, connection, none of it means shit to me. I am beyond obsessed with the female body and all of its functions. The desire to bang tons of chicks and try out various kinks has become so strong it’s basically all I can think about anymore. And if I can’t have it? Well let’s just say I have absolutely zero interest in living another 60+ years in this rotten piece of shit world that treats me like garbage just for trying to bury my face in some prime healthy ? 

Number 1 problem for me right now is I don’t live in a big enough city where I have a sufficient amount of women to practice pickup on. Don’t have the money energy or recourses to move out.

[Leo Gura]

@Emotionalmosquito You need to make a plan to find better work and move to a big city. That's the key for you at this point. Be careful about telling yourself it can't be done. It can be done, but it will take some creative thinking and work. It will be worth it.

I suggest you start researching possible jobs in big cities.

And also, I suggest you go out to some bars or clubs at least twice a week in your current city. Some game is better than zero game. You should also explore the possibility of day game. Try to find some spots in your town like a mall, bookstore, cafe, outdoor areas, college campuses, yoga studios, etc.

This issue is too big to solve in one fell swoop. You gotta babystep it and don't psyche yourself out by thinking too far ahead about all the obstacles. There will be many obstacles along the way which you will solve one at a time as they arise.

Don't get down. There are solutions out there if you apply yourself. I've gone through what you're going through.

Edited August 8, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Raze]

14 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

I do struggle with very very specific things like going in for a kiss with a girl, sexual escalation, basically everything very physical that you do from the moment you decide to kiss. However it is not that difficult for me to get a girl to want me to kiss her. Verbally I am happy with myself. I am not this super smooth PUA guy but I am happy with my level, it is not what causes me frustration but the stuff above. Lacking that killer instinct and ruthlessness. Like a hawk.

I am weird I know.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-kiss-her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWjPvcg-7Iw

 

[Spiritedness]

@Raze Dude istg NEVER change with these links you're posting as replies. SO convenient lmao.

Edited August 8, 2023 by Spiritedness

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Leo Gura

College campuses?? 

Aren’t the campus cops gonna inevitably show up to ban me when they notice a guy that doesn’t even attend the college going around talking to all the girls? Keep in mind staff members of bars have barked up my ass and even banned me for joking around about stuff that literally isn’t even half as bad as some of what you’ve gotten away with. If one single person complains about me for whatever reason I’m toast.

[Leo Gura]

@Emotionalmosquito Of course it depends on how calibrated you are and your age.

You can do game in less and more subtle ways.

College campuses can be tricky, it depends. But at this point you want explore all your options and see what's possible. A college campus might have a busy nearby cafe or bar, for example.

Worst case scenario they tell you to leave.

Edited August 8, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Chadders]

One of the problems I find is that I just don’t enjoy going out to raves or night clubs which makes it harder to get in a playful mood. I have friends who go out all the time but I get bored 

If you enjoy the setting  you’ll do better with women in clubs/raves because your feeling of  enjoyment will rub off

I basically have to force myself to go out. I’d prefer it if I actually wanted to go 

In the end you just gotta be honest with your emotions. Tell her she’s beautiful or whatever. As long as you’re honest with your feelings and not holding back. If she doesn’t like it that’s her problem not yours. You were just being honest. This is what separates nice guys from guys that are more successful with women imo. Nice guys are overly accommodating and polite but fuck that. They’re not being honest that they actually want that girl

Easier said than done though. You have to fuck off social conditioning and norms to an extent and go for it

Not to mention getting over insecurities around rejection and looking like an idiot if it goes to shit!

 

Edited August 13, 2023 by Chadders