Warning: LSD and trauma, my case

[Federico del pueblo]

Hi guys, I haven't posted for a while but I think a lot of you still remember me from my more or less regular posts.

So here's what happened:

Last Tuesday I took a 150 ug of 1V-LSD.

The experience went very normal like about 10 other experiences had gone prior to this one. 150 ug is also not my highest dose, I had priorly taken 170, 190, 225 and 245 (last one with a tolerance present though).

Nothing crazy happened in this trip, I felt able to handle it during the experience. Because nothing came up by itself I felt into different fears/insecurities and let my body do the work to release them. This is the mechanism that had occurred in all prior experiences too. The body does trembling, shaking and twitching movements and it feels like the pent-up emotion is sort of flowing out of me.

I felt into one specific anxiety of traumatic origin that I've had for about 19 years now and the same occurred (trembling etc), though I can say that this did not improve the anxiety after the trip.

Directly after the trip I felt normal as always, just physically exhausted from all the movements.

One or two days later though I realized that the specific anxiety had actually worsened and was now more out of control = harder to regulate. But not only that, it also seemed like the specific anxiety then started to generalise and then I was sitting there with constant anxiety which I could not regulate with thoughts anymore.

I basically felt psychologically regressed 11 years back when I last had these kinds of states.

The thoughts driven by this stronger anxiety made it very hard to not worry and this brought me much closer to depressive territory, like anxiously depressed.

All together I feel destabilised (in the bad way, not like after a breakthrough, god realisation kind of trip like some of you have experienced).

It seems like the substance activated or strengthend something in my psyche that is now very hard to control.

I try to not worry, to not be negative or pessimistic and so on, but when it hits me I cannot will myself out of it or think myself out of it.

@flowboy I should have listened to your advise about trauma and psychedelics. If you have any (positive) advice I'd be grateful.

@somegirl As we recently talked about my lsd experiences in the pms I thought I'd tag you here. I wouldn't want you to take an irresponsible decision about psychedelic use.

@Leo Gura If you know something feel free to share.

To all of you: no matter what you write please be kind and supportive. Please avoid writing horribly negative or paranoid stuff. Be uplifting and encouraging if you can.

Thank you all.

[bensenbiz]

but be grateful to experience it. This is the real deal in terms of healing. You are facing a big dragon. Try to do a lot of grounding / breathing. Invite it. Try to feel as much as possible and stop labeling it.

 

as you know real growth is not linear. 
much love! 

[Soul Flight]

I can relate. The more psychedelics open my heart and open my mind, the more vulnerable I am. I would say I have slightly more anxiety from psychedelic use just because I seem to be more of an empath now. I was living in an ego fantasy before. So it is the price we must pay.

You may have triggered a PTSD event. Give it time. Sleep, eat healthy, exercise, drink water, see water, hear water, see nature, meditate, avoid caffeine, sugar, and salt, pray, etc.

[Federico del pueblo]

18 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

but be grateful to experience it. This is the real deal in terms of healing. You are facing a big dragon. Try to do a lot of grounding / breathing. Invite it. Try to feel as much as possible and stop labeling it.

 

as you know real growth is not linear. 
much love! 

Thank you. Yes, deep belly breathing helps to calm me down.

I'll do my best. Thanks for your love!

11 minutes ago, Soul Flight said:

I can relate. The more psychedelics open my heart and open my mind, the more vulnerable I am. I would say I have slightly more anxiety from psychedelic use just because I seem to be more of an empath now. I was living in an ego fantasy before. So it is the price we must pay.

You may have triggered a PTSD event. Give it time. Sleep, eat healthy, exercise, drink water, see water, hear water, see nature, meditate, avoid caffeine, sugar, and salt, pray, etc.

Thanks for your help too. I appreciate the love. It means a lot to me that there are people who care!

[LSD-Rumi]

Is the anxiety generalized or specific to a certain cause? 

Do some relaxation excerises, Try relaxing the body throught the day, this should reduce the anxiety.

Maybe you should microdose for a while to reduce anxiety. Try it once and see what it does to you.

[Federico del pueblo]

6 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

Is the anxiety generalized or specific to a certain cause? 

Specific to a certain cause but sort of can't be avoided at the moment. Then from there it generalises into, well, general worry about the situation/condition.

Thanks for your other tips!

[Leo Gura]

Let more time pass while trying not to ruminate on it and you should move beyond it. Sometimes truama can be stirred up which takes more than a week to settle. But it's important that you don't ruminate and worry about it too much. The good news is that in the big picture you should be able to heal whatever trauma you have. But it might take more work and time than you expect.

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

It seems like the substance activated or strengthend something in my psyche that is now very hard to control.

Your experience is definitely relatable. After I did my ketamine sessions it also “revealed” a bunch of trauma in the weeks after my final session. 

But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t have gotten the proper therapy or help had it not been for that “activation”. Before doing ketamine I would mask my mental illness and pretend to be fine to everyone around me.

So, if anything, it has actually helped me in the long run actually face and understand my mental health conditions rather than avoid them entirely. 

[Federico del pueblo]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Let more time pass while trying not to ruminate on it and you should move beyond it. Sometimes truama can be stirred up which takes more than a week to settle. But it's important that you don't ruminate and worry about it too much. The good news is that in the big picture you should be able to heal whatever trauma you have. But it might take more work and time than you expect.

Thank you so much Leo for replying! 

It's really heartwarming to see that you replied even though you probably have better things to do and are busy yourself.

I'm very grateful for this. You are love!

Btw: if you don't mind me asking: how has your health condition developed? I hope you find the solution! 

[Federico del pueblo]

17 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Your experience is definitely relatable. After I did my ketamine sessions it also “revealed” a bunch of trauma in the weeks after my final session. 

But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t have gotten the proper therapy or help had it not been for that “activation”. Before doing ketamine I would mask my mental illness and pretend to be fine to everyone around me.

So, if anything, it has actually helped me in the long run actually face and understand my mental health conditions rather than avoid them entirely. 

Interesting story and experiences you share! Thank you man!

[flowboy]

2 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

@flowboy I should have listened to your advise about trauma and psychedelics. If you have any (positive) advice I'd be grateful.

@Federico del pueblo Yeah you blew too many bricks out of your repression system at once and now it's leaking. Symptoms of that are anxiety or psychotic thoughts. I advise against doing trauma work and high dose psychedelics in the same time period for this reason. Don't worry though, chances are it will self-correct in a few days, weeks or months.

I will stipulate that with a bit of willpower and perhaps a bit of breathwork, you can work on your trauma in a safer way so that this doesn't happen. We have an inner "healer" that knows exactly how big of a chunk of trauma to release in a session so that you can still handle it. This gets overridden by psychedelics.

Here's what I recommend now, to recover quickly: take a complete multivitamin regimen.

My girlfriend and I are both doing that and noticing that it helps tremendously, not just with feeling deeply into things when they come up (we cry more) but also with not having trauma interfere and "linger" in the background for days and days (being tense and anxious and not knowing why)

In particular, take:

- A complete multivitamin complex

- 3g vitamin C

- L-Phenylalanin or DLPA, 700mg on empty stomach in the morning

- Ornithine, Arginine before sleep

You'll be the old you soon enough! Accidents happen with the courageous experimenters. Wish you a speedy recovery

 

Edited July 30, 2023 by flowboy

[bensenbiz]

2 hours ago, Soul Flight said:

I can relate. The more psychedelics open my heart and open my mind, the more vulnerable I am. I would say I have slightly more anxiety from psychedelic use just because I seem to be more of an empath now. I was living in an ego fantasy before. So it is the price we must pay.

You may have triggered a PTSD event. Give it time. Sleep, eat healthy, exercise, drink water, see water, hear water, see nature, meditate, avoid caffeine, sugar, and salt, pray, etc.

The same happened to me too. I couldn‘t even do my job anymore cause the job persona I created was so far away from my authentic self. My empathy is nowadays so strong that I can feel any little vibration. Waking up can be roughy 

 

I have respect for everyone here who is on the path to become more conscious. 
 

Frederico, I can feel through your responses that you are a pretty loving person with the ability to be grateful. You will be definitetely fine. 

[Federico del pueblo]

@flowboy Thank you so much my friend! That post is loving and encouraging, I appreciate it very much.

You seem like a great person btw!

I'll do my best to recover quickly and I'll let all of you know when things get better.

[Federico del pueblo]

30 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

Frederico, I can feel through your responses that you are a pretty loving person with the ability to be grateful. You will be definitetely fine. 

Thanks for that!

You seem loving too!

[flowboy]

Those vitamins and supplements I mentioned help the brain make enough neurotransmitters to get the repression system working and have enough left over for daily functioning. Gamechanger.

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

I will stipulate that with a bit of willpower and perhaps a bit of breathwork, you can work on your trauma in a safer way so that this doesn't happen.

What kind of breathwork are you talking about? Like holotropic breathwork?

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

4 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Hi guys, I haven't posted for a while but I think a lot of you still remember me from my more or less regular posts.

So here's what happened:

Last Tuesday I took a 150 ug of 1V-LSD.

The experience went very normal like about 10 other experiences had gone prior to this one. 150 ug is also not my highest dose, I had priorly taken 170, 190, 225 and 245 (last one with a tolerance present though).

Nothing crazy happened in this trip, I felt able to handle it during the experience. Because nothing came up by itself I felt into different fears/insecurities and let my body do the work to release them. This is the mechanism that had occurred in all prior experiences too. The body does trembling, shaking and twitching movements and it feels like the pent-up emotion is sort of flowing out of me.

I felt into one specific anxiety of traumatic origin that I've had for about 19 years now and the same occurred (trembling etc), though I can say that this did not improve the anxiety after the trip.

Directly after the trip I felt normal as always, just physically exhausted from all the movements.

One or two days later though I realized that the specific anxiety had actually worsened and was now more out of control = harder to regulate. But not only that, it also seemed like the specific anxiety then started to generalise and then I was sitting there with constant anxiety which I could not regulate with thoughts anymore.

I basically felt psychologically regressed 11 years back when I last had these kinds of states.

The thoughts driven by this stronger anxiety made it very hard to not worry and this brought me much closer to depressive territory, like anxiously depressed.

All together I feel destabilised (in the bad way, not like after a breakthrough, god realisation kind of trip like some of you have experienced).

It seems like the substance activated or strengthend something in my psyche that is now very hard to control.

I try to not worry, to not be negative or pessimistic and so on, but when it hits me I cannot will myself out of it or think myself out of it.

@flowboy I should have listened to your advise about trauma and psychedelics. If you have any (positive) advice I'd be grateful.

@somegirl As we recently talked about my lsd experiences in the pms I thought I'd tag you here. I wouldn't want you to take an irresponsible decision about psychedelic use.

@Leo Gura If you know something feel free to share.

To all of you: no matter what you write please be kind and supportive. Please avoid writing horribly negative or paranoid stuff. Be uplifting and encouraging if you can.

Thank you all.

Damn. Time is all that's needed. No psychs for a month or so. I have been here. It will fade so stay positive in that aspect.

[Javfly33]

Once you get the message, hang up the phone. I have used to LSD in the past too and experienced some breakthroughs and I felt I was un releasing trauma and so on until it all started to feel too much Loopey kind of way.

Overall I would say stay away from this type of energetic-psychologic twisting psychedelics Lsd for a long time, come back when you feel you just want to enjoy a trip. 

Now just give it time, it will pass! Hang in there!

[Javfly33]

4 hours ago, Soul Flight said:

. I would say I have slightly more anxiety from psychedelic use just because I seem to be more of an empath now. I was living in an ego fantasy before. So it is the price we must pay.

 

That's quite the rationalisation right there.

Another perspective is, Psychedelics maybe have serious side effects in terms of the energetic body

If I have to make a analysis after all this years I would say psychedelics have been amazing in providing great times in terms of euphoria and freedom from thought, but the baggage that gets twisted in the middle of it (because of the ego still being active most of the trip, even though people think is not) can be a serious side effect. 

If you have more anxiety from psychedelic use, they are clearly not working for you.( IMO ) Is actually the ego that now wants to defend psychedelics at any cost, that says 'meh, but is because im in empath now'.

[bensenbiz]

13 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

That's quite the rationalisation right there.

Another perspective is, Psychedelics maybe have serious side effects in terms of the energetic body

If I have to make a analysis after all this years I would say psychedelics have been amazing in providing great times in terms of euphoria and freedom from thought, but the baggage that gets twisted in the middle of it (because of the ego still being active most of the trip, even though people think is not) can be a serious side effect. 

If you have more anxiety from psychedelic use, they are clearly not working for you.( IMO ) Is actually the ego that now wants to defend psychedelics at any cost, that says 'meh, but is because im in empath now'.

Who does take high dosage psychedelics and is not more sensitive afterwards?

 

This is the work. it‘s a feature not a bug.