My philosophical nature and academic responsibilities

[Madhur]

In social settings, I find it challenging to connect with others because I am naturally drawn towards existential topics, truth-seeking, and philosophical discussions. While I do enjoy some light banter, my preference leans heavily towards deep conversations but the majority of people around me prefer fun banter, which makes it difficult for me to establish genuine connections.

I have recently begun my post-graduation course, where active participation and engagement with classmates are essential, in lectures I can very well adjust myself because I am always looking to learn new things but off the class it gets awkward & difficult for me to flow in a conversation, I feel like I'm forcing myself to interact in ways that don't come naturally to me. Under normal circumstances, I'm perfectly content without constant social interactions, but the academic requirements make it necessary for me to connect with others, and that's where the problem arises.

I would greatly appreciate any advice or book recommendations that can help me navigate this situation better and find a balance between my philosophical nature and academic responsibilities.

[Nilsi]

8 minutes ago, Madhur said:

In social settings, I find it challenging to connect with others because I am naturally drawn towards existential topics, truth-seeking, and philosophical discussions. While I do enjoy some light banter, my preference leans heavily towards deep conversations but the majority of people around me prefer fun banter, which makes it difficult for me to establish genuine connections.

I have recently begun my post-graduation course, where active participation and engagement with classmates are essential, in lectures I can very well adjust myself because I am always looking to learn new things but off the class it gets awkward & difficult for me to flow in a conversation, I feel like I'm forcing myself to interact in ways that don't come naturally to me. Under normal circumstances, I'm perfectly content without constant social interactions, but the academic requirements make it necessary for me to connect with others, and that's where the problem arises.

I would greatly appreciate any advice or book recommendations that can help me navigate this situation better and find a balance between my philosophical nature and academic responsibilities.

I have never been in any social milieu where there wasn't at least 1 person interested in deep existential conversation - whether it be school, university, work. Just be authentically you and you will find these people.

Also, learn to develop and appreciate other modes of interaction. An obvious one is interacting with the opposite sex. There will never be a shortage of attractive girls/guys, you can shoot your shot with and have engaging and meaningful interactions with.

As far as academic responsibilities go, interacting with others and working towards a common goal is another skillset you have to learn and master.

 

I don't have much advice, besides just opening yourself up to these experiences and learning to be social, extroverted and rewarding to be around. If other people enjoy your company, you will inevitably enjoy theirs as well.

Edited July 30, 2023 by Nilsi

[Madhur]

@Nilsi Generally, i can talk to anyone, but all those conversations feel very forced and shallow to me except the deep & meaningful ones(which as of now I can only have with my girlfriend because she is quite open minded and likes talking about these stuff) While I accept the importance of socializing and engaging with others, it's an area I feel I need to work on because of my introverted nature.

i like being alone, it makes me feel at ease & content. If it wasn't for societal expectations I would have been completely fine being alone but that's not the case hence, now My goal is to discover my flow state in conversation, something I've experienced only during deep discussions. In other situations, I tend to resort to making strange jokes and occasionally stutter because I feel pressured.

Now My postgraduate course in human resource management has further emphasized the importance of communication and social connections. Hence I am finding resources in order to improve myself in that manner.

[Yimpa]

Maybe some weed can help loosen you up.

[Jannes]

Or maybe some psychedelic microdoses which also make you more creative/ conscious which can help you with existential questions actually. 

[Madhur]

Lol I didn't mean drugs when I said resources, besides i am hoping for more real & conscious approach. 

[Miguel1]

6 hours ago, Madhur said:

Generally, i can talk to anyone, but all those conversations feel very forced and shallow to me except the deep & meaningful ones

The key here is to learn to laugh at nonsense and silly things, which is almost everything when you are socializing.

I am quite like you naturally, but I have learnt to just make fun of myself and the sillyness of everything - this is the mood.

Sillyness.

Self-amusement.

Tap into the part of life that is non-serious. The part of life that is a total joke.

I mean look at the Universe! It is a one big joke: God created this amazing world just to realize that he can’t enjoy it, so he had to delude himself into a human being!

He also had to create all this stupid ego games and wars, just so that he can appreciate the beauty of the Earth more…

—

Obviously do not hurt anyone’s ego.

But just laugh at the sillyness of the ego in general.

This is how I go about when I socialize with people, or even when I am having more intimate moments with girls.

When cuddling with them, I do some emotional connection but deep down I know it won’t go very deep, and in order to entertain myself, I make sure to turn the whole mood into a silly nonsense once in a while.

I will enjoy the superficial emotional connection, but I will deeply enjoy the fucking around mood as well (lot’s of teasing for example).

But when you are just purely socializing without any intimacy, then purely just self-amuse and be silly.

This is a skill to be learned, which includes the skill of letting go of your seriousness (depth) momentarily and letting loose.

Don’t cling to it like a baby to its mother.

A truly mature person knows also when to let loose and be silly.

[Jannes]

On 30.7.2023 at 5:23 PM, Madhur said:

Lol I didn't mean drugs when I said resources, besides i am hoping for more real & conscious approach. 

Psychedelics are consciousness.