I regret not taking notes on actualized.org earlier or making it more complicated

[AndylizedAAY]

Hello everyone, I was aware of Leo's ultimate common place book but it feels like my notes are not being as helpful as they could be. I might have talked about this a long time ago but I've noticed that I cannot find any notes on entire multipart series of actualized.org content. I didn't really know how to convince my conservative parents (not politically speaking) about the ultimate common place book so it started with sticky notes digitally on the computer whiile taking notes on the computer, then I moved to the notetaking app on my phone, and then Google Docs with my original Google account and then Google Docs on my recovery one because of storage issues. I also didn't take notes at the time before taking any notes when I was watching actualized.org since I was occupied with other things because I wasn't serious enough a long time ago (it's impossible for you to lose your save data on Google Docs). The reason I'm mentioning this is because the notes I'm taking now doesn't seem to help me connect the dots as passionately as Leo says. There just lists or what I think is important from Leo so I don't even know if I should relisten to all of the videos I didn't take notes on. I should also feel comfortable for people to read the same notes if it were to be in a notebook if that were to help. At what point relatvely speaking can I say that I have consumed enough content including books to connect the dots? Do you believe that serendipity will happen if I'm ready for something like attending workshops and meditation retreats? I'm going to take online college so I won't be travelling anywhere except for a VISA trip. I would have to finish my college first regardless if it was online or not. 

Edited July 30, 2023 by AndylizedAAY
To explain about college.

[Bobby_2021]

If you are not able to connect the dots, contemplate more. 

[Rafael Thundercat]

Taking notes is good but not the real work. Real work is finding a way to have direct experiences with consciousness, psycadelics for example. If not 5Meo at least some mushrooms or something that comes in your way. I stoped taking notes long ago since I noticed that listening episodes many times is better do give grill to the mill but is in my psycadelic trips that the teachings became usefull for contemplation and the heavy work of deacontruct all bias. Keep taking notes if it helps you but be aware that in moments of deep surrender during trips there will be no time to reach notes to remember.