Killing Flies

[samijiben]

Is it wrong that I enjoy swatting flies? I mean, what can I say — I get a kick out of taking that pink fly swatter and ending the seemingly unending buzzing of whatever bee or fly unwittingly entered my living space. I don't mean to justify my actions. I am genuinely curious as to whether or not they are morally justifiable, and if God would have any qualms with killing another conscious being.

[Someone here]

If you kill them quickly ( a painless death) then it's OK. 

But if you torture them then you should go to hell.

[tuku747]

Well, in this case you should remember that you are killing yourself incarnated in fly form. And you are also judging yourself for killing yourself in fly form and you can forgive yourself at anytime

[Carl-Richard]

I try to avoid killing things.

[Osaid]

I just spoke with God, he said you're not allowed to kill flies.

[samijiben]

@Someone here Ok.

 

So are you saying that if I kill the fly quickly it's okay? Are you saying that the moral line here is between painlessly and painfully killing the organism?

 

I'm not sure I understand. For me it's not about the way I kill it. I swat the sonnuvabitch fast, with one fluid motion of my swatter, rather like a ninja. 

 

No, the question I'm asking here is if I am somehow doing something objectively wrong or "unspiritual" by ending its life. 

 

My reason for killing the fly or bee or whatever is twofold: one is ending the buzzing which irritates and annoys, two is because, like I said, I take pleasure in it. It's just good old fun 

[Whitney Edwards]

This is like the vegan edition. 

I don't kill plants. 

[samijiben]

@Osaid aha!

 

So does this extend to all sentient organisms? 

Is there some kind of logic or system of organization to God's supposed rules?

 

Would he permit killing a fly with the intention to eat it?

 

Is killing a fly on the same caliber of "bad" as killing a human?

 

All these questions are important and pressing to me, and they're why I can't simply accept that "God said it's wrong."

[Osaid]

44 minutes ago, samijiben said:

aha!

 

So does this extend to all sentient organisms? 

Is there some kind of logic or system of organization to God's supposed rules?

 

Would he permit killing a fly with the intention to eat it?

 

Is killing a fly on the same caliber of "bad" as killing a human?

 

All these questions are important and pressing to me, and they're why I can't simply accept that "God said it's wrong."

Alright, I forwarded the questions to God and he sent me the complete list of when you can and can't kill flies. I have copy and pasted it below, hopefully it clears up all the confusion:

When It Is and Isn't Morally Appropriate to Kill Flies, As Penned by the Almighty:

Section 1: Thou Shalt Not Slay the Minuscule Buzzers

When the clock strikes noon on the third Sunday of the seventh month, thou shall not layeth a finger on any fly buzzing around thy abode.

If the fly bears a striking resemblance to William Shakespeare, thou shall spare its life, for it may be a literary genius in disguise.

In the event that the fly chanteth a melodious tune in the key of G-flat major, thou shall grant it safe passage to the nearest meadow, where it can join a fly choir.

Should a fly find itself trapped in thy beverage, thou shall grant it a lifebuoy fashioned from a toothpick and rescue it from its liquidy doom.

Unless the fly challenges thee to a game of chess and thou art defeated thrice in a row, thou shall not smite it.

Section 2: Of Fly Slaying Circumstances

When a fly partaketh in espionage or engage in covert operations against thee, thou shall summon the Fly Counterintelligence Unit and act accordingly.

If a fly declareth war upon thee and leadeth an army of its brethren, thou shall be permitted to retaliate with flyswatters and rolled-up newspapers.

In times of dire famine, thou shall be allowed to consider flies as a last resort of sustenance. But verily, only if thou art truly desperate.

Thou shall not engage in wanton slaughter for the mere sake of acquiring fly wings for use in ill-fated attempts at human flight.

Section 3: Flies in Divine Service

If a fly hath been appointed as thy spiritual guide by fate or chance, thou shall heed its buzzing advice and embark on a quest of self-discovery.

Should a fly display miraculous powers of healing, thou shall establish a Fly Church of Miracle Cures and arrange weekly services in thy garden.

In the presence of a sacred fly infestation during sacred ceremonies, thou shall view it as a sign of divine favor and celebrate with joyous abandon.

Section 4: Miscellaneous Fly-Related Matters

If thou findeth a fly with golden wings, thou shall set it free and wait for three wishes to be granted by a grateful fly fairy.

In the event of an interdimensional portal appearing in thy living room, and flies starteth to emerge, thou shall not be alarmed; it merely indicates an odd day in the cosmos.

Should thou encounter a time-traveling fly from the future, thou shall exchange philosophical insights but refrain from asking for lottery numbers.

 

[Yimpa]

I have pest control coming over next week.

Fuck the ants, fuck the wasps, fuck all of them!

One time I decapitated a wasp. I have no regrets. 

Edited July 30, 2023 by Yimpa

[Nathan]

Please stop swatting me. Please. I'm begging you. Don't you understand how I suffer? Please.

[BojackHorseman]

Why kill?

Imagine if there was an infinitely more powerful being than us that could kill us that easily. You'd be happy if they had some consideration and empathy right?
As a vegetarian I'm biased, but honestly I don't think we need to kill at all to survive. So please try to avoid it and focus your energy on constructing mor than destructing.

[samijiben]

@Osaid Man, thanks for that!

It made me laugh it and it really cheered up my rather shit day! Thank you. 

I'm curious, how did you develop your writing style? Are you really into Shakespeare?

 

I think the way you write is really cool, and I'm even inclined to take what you said as the word of God!

 

In all seriousness, I really enjoyed reading this. You're great, man!

[samijiben]

@Nathan But, but, but....

How could you know that that's what goes on in the mind of the fly?

[samijiben]

@Yimpa lol, I feel it 

A question for you, though, is where do you cut the line?

 

I mean, you say you have no problem killing wasps and other such pests, but how big or intelligent or warm blooded or etc. does an animal have to be before you feel bad about killing it?

Edited July 30, 2023 by samijiben

[caspex]

Usually I catch it in my hands and let it out the window. But there are situations where killing is unavoidable.

[Osaid]

1 hour ago, samijiben said:

I'm curious, how did you develop your writing style? Are you really into Shakespeare?

Oh no, although I'd love to take credit, I just had ChatGPT convert the writing style.

1 hour ago, samijiben said:

I think the way you write is really cool, and I'm even inclined to take what you said as the word of God!

Good, you should. I worked really hard to channel that message directly from God himself.

1 hour ago, samijiben said:

In all seriousness, I really enjoyed reading this. You're great, man!

Aw, thanks.

 

[Selfnaught]

.

Edited July 30, 2023 by Selfnaught

[ZzzleepingBear]

59 minutes ago, Selfnaught said:

.

You got a fly in your post.. Do you want me to smack it for you?