Friendship after Break-up (a male trap)

[Philipp]

My ex broke up 1 year ago (together 3,5 years). She wanted to stay friends. I care a lot about her. So being friends  motivated me. She also is a very good person and great friend, as I had seen. 

However... it doesn't work.

I think staying friends is especially bad for man. 

As continuing to fuck is especially bad for woman. (if the guy, is not emotionally invested anymore)

So proposing friendship almost feels like a trap. The girl continues to get emotional investment from you, but stops giving you her sexual exclusivity. 

 

Thoughts? Bad and Good Experiences with Friendship after Break-up?

[integral]

Did you get a new gf or stayed a tamed pet?

Edited July 27, 2023 by integral

[Thought Art]

When you beak up just goooo

 

[Philipp]

@integral no I was emotionally pretty messed up. Breakup was not the only problem I had.

I had hard time even wanting to have something with someone else. She was still what I wanted. I valued her during the relationship and afterwards a lot. 

[NoSelfSelf]

I like how you say almost to leave room that maybe you not doing something bad for yourself.

There is nothing you can say to justify this,because if you think for a second you want to be friends for hope you will get back together.Meanwhile shes benefiting and in control, you being in a weak position,so that's why you never put yourself in weak position where what you want is not a hope but potential reality. 

I loved one quote: women come and go but your self worth stays....

[Raze]

If you aren’t over her, it is a bad idea, you need time away from her and any reminder of her will make it take longer to get over her because it revives connections in the brain associated with her,

If you are over her, it’s ok, any woman in your social circle is an advantage as you now can meet her friends through her.

[manuel bon]

@Philipp I've experienced a similar situation. I was in a relationship for two years, and she was (and still is) a great person; but we somehow grew up differently and we decided to break up (about 6 years ago). We decided to stay friends, but we both understood that our friendship will never be as a normal friendship. Every summer after that we would come back to each other, and basically be a couple (we were acting as a couple, even though we didn't officially label our situation as a relationship). Then after some moths the situation would slowly fade away. This has happened for 2 or 3 years in a row, but then the last time I decided to stop any contact with her. I know that I could have done it in a different way, and now she wouldn't be 'pissed' at me, but now I can finally feel that there's a closure.

Friendship after breaking up is not a good idea. You should take your distances, and let her go. That doesn't mean that what you experienced together didn't matter and that you don't care about her anymore.

But life goes on, and so do we, carrying in our hearts all that we have lived.

[Dauntment]

Get better in bed lol

[Philipp]

@Dauntment This comment is completely out of place