How to Get Over a Girls Body Count

[Princess Arabia]

48 minutes ago, Roy said:

Not every man, most men. And - everything I've ever learned or experienced about humans 

Nothing personally. I don't stay up at night over it. Just gives me something to consider.

There are 8 billion people in the world. Most men? You need to understand we don't see the world as it is, we see the world how we are and cannot experience anything other than our level of consciousness. I do it too, because I'm coming from a limited place, but at least I'm aware of it and I am open to other perspectives and less biased because I know my world is shaped around me from my own thoughts and beliefs, so I try not to be so concrete in my belief systems so I'm able to expand the mind and not get too caught up in the illusion of life.

[Butters]

@Princess Arabia watch out for your own biases. Also when discussing pickup and relationships on this forum it is very useful for men to make these distinctions. There are definitely rules when it comes to what women are attracted to and understanding this is essential when learning game.

Also Princess are you compensating for the gender imbalance by replying 3 in a row? ?

Edited July 27, 2023 by Butters

[Yimpa]

“This is different; This is important!! How many?!”

[Roy]

10 hours ago, Butters said:

you are contradicting yourself. On the one hand you correctly said women love players with lots of choice and female competition. On the other hand you support a possessive frame by caring about bodycount. 

How is it contradictory when both can be true? It's a double standard, not contradictory. Double standards exist because men and women are not the same (obviously). Some of them are useful (like this one), others not so much.

Edited July 28, 2023 by Roy

[Roy]

9 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

"because men and women are different, not equal", that's just a distinction the mind made.  That's relatively true and now you're living from that place and now your perception is flawed and biased.

It's not flawed and biased, in fact I'm distancing myself from those traits by just accepting observed human behavior and making distinctions based on evidence and what I notice in reality.

And you don't know what place I'm living from so careful with your assumptions. What I say and what I do can be very different things, and be honest you have no idea about anything about me besides inferences you make from my account here.

10 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

What you are speaking of (including myself) are not Absolute Truths so it can be changed at any time and be perceived differently at any moment.

The sky is blue, now back to the weather Tom!

10 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

"It's not a bad thing when men do it" is only a belief, coming from a certain thought pattern and societal programming.

Yup you got it exactly right here. Notice how people function more or less believing certain things and not others.

I don't even believe in anything anyways, the concept and term are flawed. I am merely an observer and messenger. Usually I spread information to spare others of their precious time and resources.

 

[Roy]

10 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Biases. Not consciously thinking. Programming. His beliefs are based on conditioning so he's going to be all over the place. Not grounded, and can come crashing down like a house of cards, when Reality hits him in the face with Infinte possibilities. Now the mind get's depressed, anxious and needs to be reprogrammed because his world views have been challenged and shown to not stand up through his direct experiences. 

Not only do you know less than jack squat about me, you are being rude to talk as if I'm not here and can't read what you're saying. Wasting an entire paragraph of psychoanalyzing bullshit, instead of addressing what I am saying and providing some sort of counter besides, "What you're saying is just conditioning and I don't like it because blah blah blah."

How about using your posts to provide relevant discussion? Like;

What have your personal experiences been like?

How many successful relationships have you had? What reasons did they succeed or fail?

What dynamics have you noticed as a woman yourself?

Contemplating why do women like players and not passive men?

What makes men and women different?

Literally anything than what you're doing right now would be more interesting and productive.

 

[Roy]

@Princess Arabia Notice you can even stay on the train tracks of the topic, and go straight to making personal assumptions. If you aren't able to stop doing that I'm just going to assume you don't have anything of substance to say on the matter and I'll leave the thread.

Edited July 28, 2023 by Roy

[Twentyfirst]

I met a girl once who had 6 abortions before and something inside of me died. Who knows how high her body count was. You can have standards as a man and its okay 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

It's not flawed and biased, in fact I'm distancing myself from those traits by just accepting observed human behavior and making distinctions based on evidence and what I notice in reality.

And you don't know what place I'm living from so careful with your assumptions. What I say and what I do can be very different things, and be honest you have no idea about anything about me besides inferences you make from my account here.

The sky is blue, now back to the weather Tom!

Yup you got it exactly right here. Notice how people function more or less believing certain things and not others.

I don't even believe in anything anyways, the concept and term are flawed. I am merely an observer and messenger. Usually I spread information to spare others of their precious time and resources.

 

Lol...i won't even bother. You're right

[Princess Arabia]

55 minutes ago, Roy said:

@Princess Arabia Notice you can even stay on the train tracks of the topic, and go straight to making personal assumptions. If you aren't able to stop doing that I'm just going to assume you don't have anything of substance to say on the matter and I'll leave the thread.

You don't have to leave the thread. I'll just shut up. If you'd like to know anything specific just ask. I'll answer, as long as it's not too personal like what is my body count.

[Roy]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You don't have to leave the thread. I'll just shut up. If you'd like to know anything specific just ask. I'll answer, as long as it's not too personal like what is my body count.

Of course nothing personal like that. Any of the questions I suggested.

[Butters]

8 hours ago, Roy said:

How is it contradictory when both can be true? It's a double standard, not contradictory. Double standards exist because men and women are not the same (obviously). Some of them are useful (like this one), others not so much.

What I think you mean is: guy creates a great life, has tons of Dating options and experience, but then chooses a woman to settle down with who has little dating experience. 

The girl wins, the guy wins and the sluts lose cause they'll settle down with Mr. Mediocre. 

So what's the essence of this? Is it attraction to perceived fertility? Is it submissiveness? A stronger feminine embodiment? 

The reason I said you are contradicting yourself is because: don't you think the frame is contradicting. Don't you think a real gorilla pimp could handle a high body count woman? The fact that this matters, you're kind of giving your power away. Your power is indifference, not playing female games. 

Besides what are you trying to get out of the relationship? Great sex? An intellectual sparring partner? A business partner? A mom? A daughter? Think about it. I really don't think the frame makes any sense, although I totally get it. 

Caring about bodycount is possessive, and possessive is not masculine. Unshakable is masculine. 

Lastly I think great relationships have little or no jealousy, so you're setting yourself up for disaster with this mindset. 

Edited July 28, 2023 by Butters

[Bando]

Being concerned about a woman body count often comes down to your own insecurities about having limited sexual experiences. Gaining more sexual experience and having more platonic female friends helped shed a lot of limiting beliefs i had about them. 

Lets do some math, say in high-school a girl has 2 partners, then she goes of to college and experiments and has 4 partners she graduates and moves to new city and gets with another 2 before finding someone she can have a longer term relationship with. Is being with 8-12 partners over a 10+ year period that bad? I live in a western country so maybe dating culture is different here but there are lot bigger flags to look for in a woman besides body count. 

I will admit that a woman with a higher body count than 20+ partners is 90% going to have mental health issues that they channel by being promiscuous. This also applies to men, when I was heavy into PUA again 90% of the guys I met were not suitable for long term relationships and had mental health issues they channeled through getting validation with bedding women.  

Its possible to have a high body count and be mentally healthy but its rare, as pursing a high body count often comes from bad mental health.

[Roy]

5 hours ago, Butters said:

Don't you think a real gorilla pimp could handle a high body count woman?

Yes they could. That's not what I am getting at though. It's whether or not they are worthy of serious commitment and investment for a long term relationship. The whole point I was bringing up was to warn OP they aren't.

It doesn't matter of "real" of a gorilla you are, how much game you have, how much power you think you have, or how good you think things are. It's harder to trust a woman like that and an extreme risk to get married or have a baby with her. They can ruin your life on a whim or impulse.

The topic here is important because most people are looking to build a worthwhile relationship. If it was just about having sex then I would say stop giving a fuck about anything about history or integrity, etc. Just blow your load and move onto the next one when you get bored. If you want shallow and no standards then that's what you get.

[Princess Arabia]

12 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

I met a girl once who had 6 abortions before and something inside of me died. Who knows how high her body count was. You can have standards as a man and its okay 

The problem with this kind of standard is, people can lie about these things. What if she only told you that so you could leave her alone. You don't know that, but of course, I don't know the circumstances in this case, it could've been the doctor that told you. Unlikely, but just analogizing here. 

[Butters]

58 minutes ago, Roy said:

It's harder to trust a woman like that and an extreme risk to get married or have a baby with her. They can ruin your life on a whim or impulse.

Can you explain this please? 

55 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

What if she only told you that so you could leave her alone. 

Lol yes. Also it kinda sounds like an early draft of a comedy open mic set. 

[Princess Arabia]

39 minutes ago, Butters said:

Can you explain this please? 

Lol yes. Also it kinda sounds like an early draft of a comedy open mic set. 

What I'm trying to say in this thread is everything in life is given meaning by you, and we all interpret things differently. i.e.. You can have a woman with a high body count (which is relatively determined) and some guy might look at that and interpret it as a woman with a high sex drive and marries her because he feels he will have plenty of sex and loves everything else about her and he lives happily ever after with lots of sex and she never cheats on him because, maybe she was only promiscuous because she didn't value herself and now this guy scoops her up, makes her feel loved and valued and they live till their 80's in a wonderful marriage.

Life has a way of presenting us with gifts and because of our hangups, judgements and mind trickery, we block them and someone else receives them because they thought differently. Not saying don't have standards, but evaluate the situation first before coming to conclusions and learn to spot your own insecurities and biases that you're bringing into the situation. Idk, maybe I just think differently and am always thinking outside the box. 

[Twentyfirst]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

The problem with this kind of standard is, people can lie about these things. What if she only told you that so you could leave her alone. You don't know that, but of course, I don't know the circumstances in this case, it could've been the doctor that told you. Unlikely, but just analogizing here. 

She told me herself. No she was not trying to get rid of me stop the cope 

[eos_nyxia]

As a woman with a "low body count", I wouldn't have dated someone who was overly preoccupied with it for its own sake, who fetishized it, or thought it meant something that it really didn't (from my perspective). For example, if he assumed that we shared some kind of morality that we don't share (e.g. morally conservative sexuality, especially if just for women but not for men, lol).

Hard pass because we actually have nothing in common.

IMO it's really important to look at the actual motivations and circumstances behind a certain behaviour, rather than just looking at the superficial result and assuming the motivation because >>insert cultural ideology<<. Don't assume that cultural patterns are the actuality until you can be very, highly certain that they are the cause. However, this requires that you not default to ideology because it's convenient, it makes you feel more secure, and saves mental time and energy.

In my own case, my own motivations had a lot to do with:

• meeting someone who I shared a great deal in common with at a very young age, which was possible because I had a very centered, acute sense of Self and motive, and so did he
• the huge amount of time and energy I've spent resolving and making sense of early life trauma and finding it unwise to add more baggage in the form of extra experiences to the mix.     (which not so coincidentally, usually makes me "damaged goods" by definition to males who think that a "low body count" is a promise of some sort of cleaner slate)
• the yogic perspective of limiting and minimizing accumulated body memory, which not only helps you in the process of dissolving previous body memory and association, but it actually can be extremely helpful (if not necessary) for specific goals related to energetic/ spiritual and intellectual development that require a huge amount energy and focus in a singular, novel direction. (But done blindly and dogmatically, ascetic tendencies and self-restraint can also be rather useless as well.) 

It has had very little to do with being a "good girl" and being good in the eyes of sexually conservative men, which is a losing game anyway.

It's kind of like... when I was a young woman, I wouldn't have dated someone who was overly preoccupied with my age either. (Aka. older men who are chronically fixated on younger women.) I always thought the reason for this should be obvious:  you'll be on the losing end of this sooner rather than later. You're not ever really "winning". And it has nothing to do with you personally anyway. You're just a series of interchangeable parts, or a checklist, for people who think this way, whether you "win" or "lose". So basically, it's all "losing".

No one likes being treated this way, unless they themselves are treating others this way first (presumably to protect themselves or others like them)!

Edited July 28, 2023 by eos_nyxia

[eos_nyxia]

I also really never understood this perspective that even "inexperienced" women (at least in terms of body count) inherently prefer experienced men, but then, I actually don't know how much of an anomaly I am either. My natural disposition is that I tend to be pretty neutral about it, and "inexperienced" very much has its own appeal with the male gender.

But... the vibe and context behind one's experiences (and the lack of it) is all-important IMO.  

• Is someone bitter because they haven't had the experiences they wanted in life? That... tends not to get better with age.
• Is someone getting "weirder" and more out of touch with being around people in a romantic/ sexual way, as a result of being alone?   This also tends not to get better with more time.
• Is someone chronically in very long-term relationships, or were they in a few interspersed with periods of being single, and why?    Sometimes people are addicted to not being alone, and this often comes with its own set of comorbid issues. Or there are certain reasons why all of their relationships have a certain lifespan (or why their relationships get stretched out endlessly into oblivion).

If anything, at this point, when facing the prospect of dating within the last 5ish years, the idea of getting overly attached to someone with a drastically different dating/ sexual background is more daunting the older I get. It's certainly not a plus. As a result, I've tended to attract and be most attracted to people with a similar background, and cautious and wary around the opposite. So: men who have had a lot of sexual and romantic experience, men who have dated around a lot, men who have roving eyeballs (and act on their impulses) definitely have not been more attractive, whereas it was more of a neutral factor before (not the roving eyeballs thing though). You can think of this as the conservative, self-preservation streak in action. While I could have gone either way in the past based on my own natural disposition, the experienced tend to be more assertive, extroverted, and approach more (not just in a romantic/ sexual way, but tending to be more forward with all people who are of interest for whatever reason). 

Otherwise, who is going to approach them? Sometimes it would actually be me.

 

None of this has much to do with men with a different background being "bad", as in, I don't feel the need to moralize about my life choices in this way to feel better and more secure about myself and for the world that I live in to appear more orderly and make sense, lol.

The cage that makes you feel contained and that gives you a ground to rest upon in an open void, is the same thing that becomes hard to leave later, assuming that you want to leave. This is what ideology tends to do. It makes you a slave while convincing you that you're the master still. If you were at one point, you're probably not anymore. If you were, you would just drop it all instantly the moment it became clear that it wasn't serving you, and that it was no longer actually protecting you or making you happy.

Edited July 28, 2023 by eos_nyxia