Leo, How to develop detachment to save oneself from heartbreak ?

[Rishabh R]

Guys, I was seeing Leo's video - How modern branding exploits you. In that video leo talks about developing detachment. So , how do I develop it so that I stop having heartbreaks and I stop caring what others are doing or saying ?

Edited July 26, 2023 by Rishabh R

[integral]

Get your heart broken until your expectations match reality. 

[Thought Art]

Talk to a lot of girls/ boys

[NoSelfSelf]

By simply not caring about the world and people ,you now think subconciously if you are being compassionate,good,subservient then you will get what you want think about it..like giving an extreme example can you catch and kill a fish being compassionate well you can(when i think about it)but you are not being nice,good,emotional,thinking what fish family will experience, you just dont care you do it to feed yourself.Its called being selfish, you just think being selfish is evil thats also part of the problem why you cant detach..(being selfish is cause of evil if we gonna go that path)

There is many other things like neglecting parents,causing you to be codependent or having unhealthy attachment to your mom etc.

 

Edited July 25, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Rishabh R]

@integral I already got it broken many times.

[Sandy6]

Why did you keep asking Leo multiple times? 

[Rishabh R]

@Sandy6 cause I think that he has some answers and mods also have good answers. However, I am fooling myself into giving himself my autonomy cause I am truth, I am generator of answers.

[Ulax]

@Rishabh R I'd say meditation, getting secure attachment style via depth psychotherapy, and having sense of purpose

[hyruga]

By becoming more aware, you create a distance from your thoughts. 

Or just focus on insights like Life is short. So why be miserable?

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Rishabh R said:

However, I am fooling myself into giving himself my autonomy cause I am truth, I am generator of answers.

That’s your biggest hint right there. You are also causing your own heartbreak. 

[Rishabh R]

@Yimpa ok thank you. By the way I must also realise that I am not responsible for what other people do and I cannot control how girls react to other boys , what I can control is how I react to girls.

[hyruga]

Detachment isn't good. It makes you quiet and half-alive. For example, if you are detached, you don't even care about how tasty the food you eat. You need to be more involved which means more vibrancy and more emotions. 

The problem is that bad things may happen and we tend to overthink the negative stuff Or sometimes the bad things didn't even happen yet we just think of them constantly. We tend to discriminate the bad things and these bad things pervades into other aspects of our lives. So we need to be aware and rise above the these stuff.

[Mu_]

20 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

Guys, I was seeing Leo's video - How modern branding exploits you. In that video leo talks about developing detachment. So , how do I develop it so that I stop having heartbreaks and I stop caring what others are doing or saying ?

Heartbreaks will happen one way or another, and then they pass, the process sometimes can be heartfelt and real and ultimately are not bad.  Other times you may linger in depression and then it may be good to say to yourself, hey this isn't benefiting me in anyway, perhaps its really time to move on and then you drop it.

 

Your second question i'll answer with a link to a video, since its much more well rounded than I could possibly time.  I find it very accurate to my own experience.

 

[Arthogaan]

It basically is the problem of Self-Worth.

You are making your Self-Worth dependent on external phenomena such as what people close to you will do to you or say about you.

If you learn total Self-Love and you will see what a divine being you are you will be invincible.

Your girlfriend cheating on you, your parents calling you a shame, NONE OF IT CHANGES HOW PERFECT AND DIVINE YOU ARE. 

And the more you meditate, transcend and realize who you really are, the more you develop yourself, the more obvious it will become to you.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H07Rs3H0-PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28HENI5wNb4

 

[blackchair]

On 7/26/2023 at 4:51 PM, Arthogaan said:

It basically is the problem of Self-Worth.

You are making your Self-Worth dependent on external phenomena such as what people close to you will do to you or say about you.

If you learn total Self-Love and you will see what a divine being you are you will be invincible.

Your girlfriend cheating on you, your parents calling you a shame, NONE OF IT CHANGES HOW PERFECT AND DIVINE YOU ARE. 

And the more you meditate, transcend and realize who you really are, the more you develop yourself, the more obvious it will become to you.

spiritual bypassing 

[Rishabh R]

Now I think that I have found the solution to this problem by following my 1st value which is practicing autonomy  - focussing on my life instead of focussing on other's life. Like not looking at couples , not looking at people who are getting intimate with their partners, not paying attention to who is talking to whom cause I cannot control other's but I can control what I do.

[Arthogaan]

4 hours ago, blackchair said:

spiritual bypassing 

It is only spiritual bypasing if you do it too early and you only try to lie yourself into feeling worthy. If you slowly realize that after many years of spiritual work it is not bypassing. It is possible.