Artists... do you get sick of your art?

[ivankiss]

Any artist in general... but let's take music for an example.

I put a lot of hours into a song. From start to finish... from writing down everything, note for not, for every instrument, to then recording it all, and finally mixing and mastering. I do it all by myself. And I absolutely love it. It's like I'm building entire worlds, from scratch. It's insanely rewarding and fulfilling. Been doing it for most of my life and will continue doing it till the end.

But goddamnit do I get sick of my own music...

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself. 

So yeah... By the end of the process, I usually cannot stand hearing that goddamn song anymore. I just wanna forget about it. 

Releasing and moving on to a new song is the right thing to do, I suppose. And that's all cool, but what I noticed is that me being fed up with hearing my own music affects the way I see myself as an artist. It affects my opinion of my music. I don't want to think it's trash, or better yet, hear it as trash - because I heard it so many fucking times already lol.

I don't want to develop some sort of a love-hate, toxic relationship with music. I know I'm not the first or the only one facing this issue. Anyone here figured out a way to cope with this? 

(I should mention that I am a single point focus guy lol. I cannot really work on several songs at once. I sit down and give my all to one song till it's done. It's just how I roll)

 

[Carl-Richard]

I've never really made songs in any serious fashion, but I have the same thoughts when learning a song on guitar. The moment I've mastered it, it loses its specialness in a way, indeed because I've had to hear it so many times. On the other hand, you also become much more immersed in the song when you listen to it onwards, which makes it more special in another way.

One thing about songwriting I do sometimes think about is that you'll have no way to know how a listener truly experiences a song from their perspective, exactly because of this myopia of focusing very hard on the details and how things fit together, as well as having conceived it through your instruments (or vocals). In other words, your relationship to your own creation is inescapably so very different from the listener, and it's a bit sad that you will never be able to hear it from their perspective.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Rigel]

Are you into improvisation? You can use your songs as vehicles for improvisation & never play twice the same. That makes it endlessly interesting to me.

On the production side of things I also want to put it away when it’s done(I think it’s only natural) but it doesn’t last very long. I cry basically every time I listen to my album by now(7months after release). Even tho like 10 people other than me listen to it I think it’s ?.

It’s a complex relationship. I imagine it’s like having a child. Your child probably drives you mad sometimes but you still love the shit out of them.

Edited July 25, 2023 by Rigel

[Applegarden8]

4 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Any artist in general... but let's take music for an example.

I put a lot of hours into a song. From start to finish... from writing down everything, note for not, for every instrument, to then recording it all, and finally mixing and mastering. I do it all by myself. And I absolutely love it. It's like I'm building entire worlds, from scratch. It's insanely rewarding and fulfilling. Been doing it for most of my life and will continue doing it till the end.

But goddamnit do I get sick of my own music...

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself. 

So yeah... By the end of the process, I usually cannot stand hearing that goddamn song anymore. I just wanna forget about it. 

Releasing and moving on to a new song is the right thing to do, I suppose. And that's all cool, but what I noticed is that me being fed up with hearing my own music affects the way I see myself as an artist. It affects my opinion of my music. I don't want to think it's trash, or better yet, hear it as trash - because I heard it so many fucking times already lol.

I don't want to develop some sort of a love-hate, toxic relationship with music. I know I'm not the first or the only one facing this issue. Anyone here figured out a way to cope with this? 

(I should mention that I am a single point focus guy lol. I cannot really work on several songs at once. I sit down and give my all to one song till it's done. It's just how I roll)

 

yeah, i try to make music fast. it sucks man, you get bored of it. hahaha but i take a week of and the same thing sounds very good. in the same day, you cannot have an opinion of what you wrote, just finish it and leave it for tomorrow. And if you go for extreme, new and unconventional ideas then render as it is and listen to the track a lot of times. Sometimes you really start digging something uncommon and weird. Also you can always render and then at one day just collect notes and markers and then re-do the whole lead part of the song or drums or effects etc.

You can take a listen on what it sounds like. 

 

Edited July 25, 2023 by Applegarden8

[ZzzleepingBear]

My take is that if you want to have total control, then you need a exceptional strong vision that goes with that control. Otherwise I believe that the happy medium is to let a certain degree of randomness to be part of the process to make it more enjoyable so you dont need to put to much emphasis on working your art, but also be playful with it.

[Danioover9000]

@ivankiss

5 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Any artist in general... but let's take music for an example.

I put a lot of hours into a song. From start to finish... from writing down everything, note for not, for every instrument, to then recording it all, and finally mixing and mastering. I do it all by myself. And I absolutely love it. It's like I'm building entire worlds, from scratch. It's insanely rewarding and fulfilling. Been doing it for most of my life and will continue doing it till the end.

But goddamnit do I get sick of my own music...

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself. 

So yeah... By the end of the process, I usually cannot stand hearing that goddamn song anymore. I just wanna forget about it. 

Releasing and moving on to a new song is the right thing to do, I suppose. And that's all cool, but what I noticed is that me being fed up with hearing my own music affects the way I see myself as an artist. It affects my opinion of my music. I don't want to think it's trash, or better yet, hear it as trash - because I heard it so many fucking times already lol.

I don't want to develop some sort of a love-hate, toxic relationship with music. I know I'm not the first or the only one facing this issue. Anyone here figured out a way to cope with this? 

(I should mention that I am a single point focus guy lol. I cannot really work on several songs at once. I sit down and give my all to one song till it's done. It's just how I roll)

 

   It's depend on how I frame the issues and situations, plus developmental factors like Spiral Dynamics stages of development, cognitive and moral development, personality types/traits, 9 stages of ego development, states of being/becoming, life experiences, other lines of development in life and society domains, ideological indoctrination from upbringing and culture, self biases and preferences, and how my mind makes sense of reality.

   In the case for music, to me no it doesn't  get too boring because when I rap or do other types of music, I mostly improvise from my mood, and go off the dome with my lyricism and rhyme schemes. In this context I approach music as if it's my hobby and interest. Same with martial arts and exercising, same with visual arts and drawing I do. Because these activities make me happy, and I love to do them, and they rejuvenate me, I do more of my interests and hobbies. In this framing yes it's more right brain bias than left brain bias, as I dislike logic and rationality because it's too dry and devoid of life and excitement to me.

   Probably the bigger issue is that it's part of creativity, be intuitive, holistic and emotional first, then be logical, rational, and sequential second, especially when it comes time to edit your art work for commercial sales. I guess best advice is to know yourself, your target audience, and know what value you can provide. More you know and experience, more tailored the value you can offer. Know when/when not to either be emotional or rational I guess. 

[Ajax]

8 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Any artist in general... but let's take music for an example.

I put a lot of hours into a song. From start to finish... from writing down everything, note for not, for every instrument, to then recording it all, and finally mixing and mastering. I do it all by myself. And I absolutely love it. It's like I'm building entire worlds, from scratch. It's insanely rewarding and fulfilling. Been doing it for most of my life and will continue doing it till the end.

But goddamnit do I get sick of my own music...

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself. 

So yeah... By the end of the process, I usually cannot stand hearing that goddamn song anymore. I just wanna forget about it. 

Releasing and moving on to a new song is the right thing to do, I suppose. And that's all cool, but what I noticed is that me being fed up with hearing my own music affects the way I see myself as an artist. It affects my opinion of my music. I don't want to think it's trash, or better yet, hear it as trash - because I heard it so many fucking times already lol.

I don't want to develop some sort of a love-hate, toxic relationship with music. I know I'm not the first or the only one facing this issue. Anyone here figured out a way to cope with this? 

(I should mention that I am a single point focus guy lol. I cannot really work on several songs at once. I sit down and give my all to one song till it's done. It's just how I roll)

 

Wow. Wow. Wow! I love this post!. 

Yes, that is a challenge that all creators face. This shows your power and magnificence! 

The thing is you can't make a copy of yourself. It's impossible. That is why it will never be good enough. 

That is why when someone sees something really beautiful and amazing like a landscape or rainbow and wants to take a picture to keep that moment with them and never lose it.... ultimately to put that photo aside and almost never look at it again.

In this one post you artfully described an essence of spirituality. 

I have listened some amazing musical pieces and actually got to talk to the creators of those pieces and they showed me things about their song that totally blew my mind. Now that I listen to the song again, it is a completely new song with so much depth and scope, but I have to be content with the fact that it will never be an exact duplicate of what the creator had in mind.

Although, it is not an easy pill to swallow, it is important to accept that you will lose something in translation. It is important to be ok with that and be willing to move on to the next thing. Believe me, artists are never fully satisfied with their creation. The only thing you can do is just put your attention on to the next creation. 

What's the alternative? Join the band of amazing artists who sunk into a spiral of depression and self-destruction and marched right into the graveyard because nobody could appreciate and understand what they have in their heart. 

What path will you choose?

Creators know that it is their life's mission to create and keep creating new things and not be trapped by their own creations. 

Love the post, thank you for making my day!

LOVE

Edited July 25, 2023 by Ajax

[PlayOnWords]

I'm never truly satisfied with it but I feel like I can recognise the good from the bad. The bad gets thrown out, left behind or redrafted. The good I can return to a few days, weeks, months later and say 'that's still fucking sick'.

I remember Brian Eno saying something like: you have to actively seek inspiration, rarely does it just fall in your lap. a lot of time we spend tuning the instruments, practicing or exploring, waiting for something to happen. And eventually inspiration finds you.

 

9 hours ago, ivankiss said:

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself.

I think this is fairly common among artists. Numerous musicians have spoken about songs they hate playing live because they've played it so many times. And I suppose the joy of going through the arduous process you describe is sharing it with people, performing - then the song takes on a new life. Do you do any of that?

[Leo Gura]

I can enjoy listening to my own videos. Especially after some time passes.

[Loving Radiance]

19 hours ago, ivankiss said:

But goddamnit do I get sick of my own music...

I mean, until the song is actually finished, I must have listened to it at least a thousand times. I focused on every single little detail. I know the song better than I know myself. 

So yeah... By the end of the process, I usually cannot stand hearing that goddamn song anymore. I just wanna forget about it.

I cannot relate because I am not a full-time artist, I only create occasionally. I see beauty in my creations and I appreciate every bit of it. I thrive in the creation process and I love to read them afterwards from time to time. I like the overarching, big-picture feel and view of it, and I love every small piece that creates the picture.

 

Perhaps there are micro frustrations coming up from listening to every detail on repeat, and so when you finish it these micro frustrations arise as a big wave of feeling sick. Is this true, do I overlook something?

It may also be that you go over your own boundaries (e.g. overworking) and the sickness feeling is the result from that.

 

It may also be the case that you are the type of person that needs to create only. I mean some actors or directors never watch their movies.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Loving Radiance

[ivankiss]

Great stuff guys. Thank you all.

I think this issue arises towards the final stages of the mixing/mastering process. That's where I listen to bars on loop, trying to hear the song from all possible angles, different devices, etc. I simply hear it too many times. And yes, I definitely push myself too much and step over the line often. My ears start hurting, I don't know what I'm hearing anymore, etc. I do take breaks and walk away more often nowadays, but I'd say I still get overwhelmed/burnt out.

I'm pretty sure I'll be handing over that part of the job to someone else, soon. I could then focus on writing and recording only, maybe do a rough mix, and then send it all to an audio engineer to really bring it to life.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my music and I love going back to my older stuff and hearing it all with new ears - if you will. It's until the song is actually finished that I tend to get sick of it.

But yeah, no biggie. Will figure things out slowly. Thanks again everyone.

[Sucuk Ekmek]

It's normal, if you aren't frustrated with what you creating, there is no progress.

You'll know when it's that's it!

[Julian gabriel]

yes

[Hojo]

maybe you are going beyond your own perfection and when you get sick of it it means to stop perfecting it and go onto the next. Come back in a week if its still monotonous then its done

Edited July 26, 2023 by Hojo

[NoSelfSelf]

Strange every time i did something creative the process of making was like pulling the strings from depths of botomless pit and then experiencing the thing i created was the best part , hitting that play button over and over.You are doing it on more serious level i assume and when you do that, you could be making it so logical and serious that it extracts that joy of why you doing it,probably you are not  doing songs you really want to make but what people would like to hear and in that mindframe you cant bring best you , unfortunately only you can know the answer..

[BojackHorseman]

You gotta enjoy your work at some point otherwise you're doing something wrong.

But yes, I tend to feel like I sucked the whole substance of it at some point in the process, and usually can't appreciate or listen again up until a few weeks, or months later depending on what it is.

It's totally ok to just release and forget/move on.

You can find your sense of discovery and wonder in other's creations, and get fueled by it.

Just leave you creation live their life in the head of the public.