Dealing With Bad Advice

[Phocus]

I.  Hate.  Bad Advice.

If you've been involved with personal development for a while then you've seen it.  Bad advice is everywhere.  Some of it is intentional but the vast majority of it is not.

Observing someone giving, or being given, bad advice just "bothers" me.  How do you deal with it?

[Loreena]

If you sense that it's bad advice then just ignore it. 

There are good apples and there are rotten apples. 

Do you ever ask - what to do with rotten apples ?

[Phocus]

It's not that rotten apples exist that bothers me, but that people are eating them.

[Loreena]

Wise people avoid bad things. Foolish and gullible people fall for everything good and bad, and generally bad. Now you can't do anything to change that. You can't make a river flow backwards.

[Guest username]

It's impossible to eliminate it. That's the importance of being able to discriminate and seek understanding. That's what wisdom is about.

[Bronsoval]

Advise is neither good or bad.  It is the role of the seeker to establish the value.  Most of the time, no one intentionally gives bad advise, as you said.  If they are giving advise, it is because they believe it to be good.  Every person is ignorant to some degree.  The ego drives people to give an answer on a topic where they are actually ignorant.  Unfortunately, this is all too easy, and some people believe that they are the world's top authority on any given subject.  You've met them I'm sure.  They are the ones who are quick to respond without much thought, and quick to deminish any argument to that response.  Be wary of these people.  On the other side of the coin, there is a phenomenon with advise where people will take the very first response  they recieve as golden and flawless.   I'm not sure why this happens, but it is a pitfall that applies to both the seeker and the responder. For some, "I don't know," are the hardest words to say.  Today's society puts pressure on people to respond, and be accurate, especially with Google at our fingertips. The only solution I can offer is this:  "Do not be offended by the ignorant, because they don't know that they are ignorant."  -Marcus Aurelius.  This quote has served me well and is my all time favorite.

[Guest Annetta]

Offering an alternative is helpful, especially if you see bad advice.  You can also politely challenge the advice being given by the other person if you'd like, and then two people have the potential to learn something new.  If the person who is giving bad advice does not accept your viewpoint, then that is a good time to point out that the best views are seen from multiple angles.  

[DJ]

One that hates "bad" advice probably shouldn't visit internet forums, let alone be a moderator.

I deal with it by ignoring it. I'm not the advice police. If someone follows "bad" advice, then they are meant to learn the hard way. 

[TJM1959]

@Phocus Got any examples...just curious.

[Salaam]

12 hours ago, Phocus said:

I.  Hate.  Bad Advice.

If you've been involved with personal development for a while then you've seen it.  Bad advice is everywhere.  Some of it is intentional but the vast majority of it is not.

Observing someone giving, or being given, bad advice just "bothers" me.  How do you deal with it?

Offer something better as the time and situation allows. Differentiate levels of importance that determine when and why you should intervene.
 

[Flare]

@Phocus Maybe rethink why there is bad advice in the first place? We all need bad advice. We all need mistakes to make progress. You don't know if the heuristic someone is giving is bad in any situation? Why let your ego rule yourself in such a cruel way that you go on judging on advice and getting sick from it. Accept it - that's the way to deal with it. Accept that it can lead to something good. 

Last thought: the old Greeks had a philosophical problem. If you have a donkey, that is hungry and thirsty, that is equally far away from both water and food he will die. He is too dumb - he can't decide in which direction he want's to go. How to safe this donkey? Push him in any direction, so the situation becomes a new one and he can decide clearly, pick up on thing and then the other. But remaining in homeostasis will surely kill him. So any advice as bad as it might be can, in fact, be good - as long as it puts you out the rut you might be in, continuing all the same thought patterns over and over again. 

[FindingPeace]

15 hours ago, Phocus said:

Observing someone giving, or being given, bad advice just "bothers" me.  How do you deal with it?

The problem is, who is deciding that the advice is bad? You? Or some other person? The advice might be different from yours but it may not be 'bad'. Or it may be. Ultimately it isn't your responsibility, it's down to the receiver of the advice to make their judgment call..

One thing I've had to learn to do on this forum, is accept that different people have different insights. Whether I agree with it or not. I'll add my penny's worth and allow the person to choose what to go with. It's their choice. But at least people here get a variety of advice to choose from.

I never take advice on blind faith. I like to 'see' what someone is saying. If I can see it, then I will adopt the concept. If I can't see it, then I will either give it further investigation and contemplation, or I will leave it. I have never believed anything that Leo even says. I don't need to. I can see what his insights point to for myself. I like advice that is self-evident.

[alyra]

failure is simply discovering one method which doesn't work

[Nahm]

Isn't there really only advice that is potentially helpful based on at least some logic, and the rest of it just people bitching or attempting to commiserate?

 

[Arkandeus]

Even bad advice can be interesting...I've watched teachings where I felt like ''nope this is not for me''...so did I waste my time? Not really,I discovered more about who I was, by discovering who I am not. 

One needs to keep a wide view. You may have heard bad advice, but did certain words make you remember something, did it bring up a certain feeling or memory?
The ''bad advice'' can be act,and behind the acts there can be things at play that are actually helping you. 

Not a single second of life is wasted or devoid of meaning. That's how powerful our journey is. there are lessons to be learned in everything, in every moment. it's up to us to be open to this meaning, even in things we consider 'not worthy'' , like hearing bad advance or seeing a trashcan on a the street. 
What's the point of seeing a trashcan on the street?how does that help one in their spiritual journey? you'd be damn surprised.
Infinity is infinity, it's magnitude is just so....that's why it's important to keep an open mind at all times.
Be noble, there are infinite ways in which life can teach you something, do not stop at the surface. 

[ctro]

If people give me bad advice, I try to just say 'thank you'. If people close to me get bad advice from someone else, I might try to (gently and subtly) give them different advice, depending if my friends are open minded enough.