Problems With My Mom, Other People, and With Independence

[AndylizedAAY]

Last night, I was trying to get some sleep and suddenly, my Mom called me at about 11:30 in the night just to see if I spilled something over a mess in the fridge that I still never saw that wasn't even me so I don't even know what happened. She didn't want me to do anything about it, she just wanted to be sure. She apparently didn't know that I was sleeping just because she herself stays up longer which seems unreasonale to assume from someone else even if she thinks she knows me. It's not like I have a consistent bedtime routine which is what I'm trying to work on so it's unreasonable for her to just assume. Also, my Mom thinks that her interruptions are so important when they are not. It's as if she is desperate to get my attention, could it just be who is too reserved? Why then does it seem to be other people that I  try to hard to participate in conversations and why are they resistent to me? What do they think about me behiind my back and why? I care more about not knowing than what people think because I just want to change myself to be more likeable without people seeming fake to me and I even treat them nicely. If you suggest that I stop doing so or confront them on the situation, I will also be unlikable for being too mean and people will gaslight this kind of confrontation because of my autism regardless if if it's intentional or not. Anyways, back to my my Mom.

She has trauma of getting yelled at but I'm sick and tired of never being allowed to get angry with anyone but she never even bothers to see a therepist and I can see that it makes her very immature and gets out of hand. If my Dad is allow to have a bad attitude with her Mom, why can't I if I am an adult? Telling her nicely doesn't work, she doesn't change her ways because this isn't the first time that this happened and I don't want this to happen ever again. If I don't suppress my anger or even if I speak in the slightest annoyed tone, my Mom will start throwing a temper tantrum asking what is wrong with me. My Mom also acts nicely in front of other people even if she doesn't like what I say or do instead of being honest about it in public and expects me to give the same treatment to her all the time. There was this other time where I was on a call with my Russian teacher and my tone was slightly off, and my Mom threw a temper tantrum threatening me to take away my smartphone. She was embarrased when she forgot to mute the call but she might have gotten defensive because the person on the other end was her boyfriend. She never seems to apoligize about these things, nor does she want to listen to these things. She would either deny that these mistakes ever happened or say how I am wrong somehow. There was also a post about my Mom throwing a big fit about some food situation and there was a book recommendation about dealing with immature parents, what was the book called agiain? I forgot the name of the conversation. I think I type some problem abut my Mom and maybe I can find it. Keep in mind that my Dad is not around to help me because he is divorced.

I have a document below that I created about the situation last night which is why it comes as a file instead of just bullet points. I don't really think it's going to affect my attachment limit too much and why is there an attachment limit anyways?

I might not even have my student transcript yet but I'll check it later even though it's taking longer than usual while I have no control over what's going on except for checking my email and emailing the admissions team when approprite. I also have why I cannot get a job in Russia since I don't even have a college degree. This is what my Mom says but I got quick relevant results during my conversation with ChatGPT instead of going from website to website since ChatGPT works like a conversation. I only use if I absolutely cannot find relevant information because it's an AI language model. 

https://poe.com/s/uYMqxbVs6v0GFL8S81TV

Also, my parents don't have much control over my VISA situation, otherwise I wouldn't have to leave the country every 6 months which means that I'm stuck living with my Mom. I could just go to college in the US but I forgot why I'm even taking college online. It's probably just because my major allows me to and that it's more convient but I need to learn how to be more in control of my life and actually have a plan.

Problems With Mom to Resolve.txt

Why It's Hard to Get a Job In Russia.txt

Edited July 23, 2023 by AndylizedAAY
I was talking about why I live with my Mom, other problems, and more.