A breakup has finally helped me answer the question, I want to have a partner.

[KGrimes]

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible to give my experience.

Just turned 26. I have virtually no real experience in long-term relationships, longest I ever lasted was maybe 3 months or so. It always felt forced, or I'd just straight up realized that this is not the right person very quick and quit the relationship at whatever stage it is.

About 1.5 month ago I met a girl in a company event, we texted before, because we matched on Bumble a few months later, but she ghosted me. However, in real life she couldn't keep her eyes off me and it was sooo easy to just talk with her, she told me im hot as fuck in about 1 minute of us starting the conversation, so it was going well.

Anyway, we made out that day, but we were both pretty drunk and I already saw some red flags there - very bossy, she asked me to choke her right away when we were kissing, and she seemed unstable, because once I told her she was crazy, in a sort of a good way, she kept insisting for me to explain or leave if " I can't talk". So I left her here and there right after we stopped making out.

Anyway, I texted her next day, she apologized and asked to forget what happened. We started over.

We kept dating, going on events, making out, having sex and watching movies for a few weeks, meeting maybe 2-3 times a week.

Then one day we didn't text each other much, but I knew from my friend that she's probably going out on a friday night with her friend, and she didn't text me anything.

The thing is, I had this idea in my head, that it's probably not gonna work out. Like I had this feeling all the time but couldn't quite tell what exactly it is. When I was spending time with her, it was all nice and fun, but once she leaves, I felt like it was a burden.

So with this idea, I also thought to myself, it would be very funny, and very convenient if I saw her and her friend with some other guys in the club so we could break up here and there, which would then result in me not having to have "the talk", I know, pretty immature, right? But, if she was a bit of a better person, i'd probably not want to do that to her.

Anyway, we went to the club with my friend, and in about a few hours I see my girl and her friend with a couple dudes at a bar, they are buying them drinks. Then I stay on the dancefloor, they come together, all hugging and shit and I just asked her "what's up?", she was shocked! Couldn't say anything, well atleast whatever she said i didn't hear, it was over for me here and there.

She tried to save the situation by leaving the guys somewhere in the smoking room and talking some bullshit with me, but at that point I was already done.

A week has passed now, and all I can say is that it sort of hurts a bit more than I expected, but one question that was always in my mind: "do I want to be in a relationship?" has been answered.

I do.

And I want that person to be a bit more spiritual than materialistic. I just feel like these materialistic girls have almost no values, and they are only good for short term fun. And I think that with the right person, the highest highs of a relationship is something that is impossible to experience in any other way, it can only be imagined.

[PlayOnWords]

Yeah, she sounded crazy from the jump. 'You're hot as fuck' within one minute? that's the oldest trick in the unstable chicks playbook.

Well done for getting out of it and coming to your conclusion. Are there any good places for you to meet a girl more aligned with you? I'd suggest a bookstore or 'spiritual' meet up group. Good luck.

Edited July 21, 2023 by PlayOnWords

[KGrimes]

@PlayOnWords

 

47 minutes ago, PlayOnWords said:

You're hot as fuck' within one minute? that's the oldest trick in the unstable chicks playbook.

Thing is, It doesn't surprise me a lot when girls compliment me a lot, but this one was a big one. She told me she thought I was gay, because i was so hot, so I guess that's why i fell for it, LOL.

 

 

48 minutes ago, PlayOnWords said:

Are there any good places for you to meet a girl more aligned with you? I'd suggest a bookstore or 'spiritual' meet up group. Good luck.

I have not found such place, but I haven't searched much to be honest, I just don't feel the need to go to these spiritual meeting places just yet, but I know that if it continues, i'll probably start going to them around age 30 or after 30 when im a bit more mature and done with regular party place.

I know there are festivals around the country where people do shrooms, lsd and do more hippy stuff than in your usual festival.

Thanks !