What is your understanding of confidence?

[StarStruck]

In my opinion confidence comes from competence. If you know you hit the metaphorical ball 9/10 you have high confidence.  If you only hit it 2/10 times you have low competence. 

It is tricky because it is not only competence but other things can play a role too like self limiting beliefs which is tied to your identity. If you were told you were a nobody that will influence your learning. Having a fluid Identity (instead of rigid identity) is critical in learning. 

I contemplated this for a while and I think confidence comes down to how fast you can learn skill or adapt to a principle. How fast you can adapt to new circumstances. It is the ability to survive aka survival of the fittest. All human games from sports to business to all other realms is a game of survival of the fittest aka how fast you can learn and adapt in body and mind to an ever changing context. And if you know you are a fast learner you will have confidence in any realm of human endeavor. 
 

What do you guys think? What is your understanding of confidence in a nutshell?

Edited July 21, 2023 by StarStruck

[caspex]

Confidence is an inner state that is often brought about from being able to to do something or having faith in oneself. But this inner state is not limited to these triggers. You don't need to be able to do something, or have faith in yourself to have this state within you. You can be confident in your approach even if you know you are gonna fail. What confidence as an inner state comes down to is survival. If you really hinge the survival of your selfhood on what you are doing, confidence is much harder to achieve. The reason something like no-self would give you insane levels of confidence is because your survival ain't hinged to a sense of self anymore.

People think confidence is having a strong sense of self or identity, but it's actually having the capability to let go of that self or identity. This is why you would not be afraid of failing. It's not only the self that confidence hinges on but other aspect of your life. If the thing you are about to do deals with winning or losing the whole game, you would be a lot less confident unless you are able to let go of the attachment to winning.

Confidence isn't the presence of a state but it's the absence of the state of attachment. Therefore confidence is the natural state of a human being. This is also why we think of people with too much anxiety as having a mental illness because they are not at all connected to their natural state of confidence.

The reason confidence is even given a term for itself is because an average human being has loads of attachments and in areas where he does not have attachments or does not have attachments to his attachments (i.e. does not fear losing that attachment to something), he is seen as different than normal, he is seen as 'confident'.

It is really not that tricky of a concept.

[itsadistraction]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I contemplated this for a while and I think confidence comes down to how fast you can learn skill or adapt to a principle. 

So someone who is naturally a slow learner would not be able to have confidence?

Confidence is being relaxed and comfortable in as many situations as possible imo.

I saw this on the forum few days ago, Julien Blanc:

https://youtu.be/w27nenP7fsQ

[LastThursday]

There's internal confidence and external confidence. There's also confidence in different things, say public speaking or playing an instrument. 

Internal confidence just means you feel comfortable and in control, you have mastery or experience in the thing you're doing. For example I would have confidence in talking about computer science subjects. I wouldn't have confidence in singing in public (or at all). I also have a certain level of social confidence etc.

External confidence is how you appear to other people. The only way for people know you are confident is to watch you act. Nobody can get inside your head, so they judge you based on your actions. The "fake it till you make it" mantra is based on this. You may not feel or be confident internally, but you can appear confident externally: how you stand, how you speak, how you carry yourself etc. To a certain degree external confidence is just social confidence, you are manipulating people into thinking you're confident, which itself needs a level of mastery.

Confidence is a mixture of these two things.

But people are easily confused about confidence. They can think someone who's confident in one thing is obviously confident in other things, which is not necessarily true. For example someone who plays chess confidently is not necessarily intelligent. They can also think someone who's externally confident must be internally confident.

[ZzzleepingBear]

Confidence is such a complex subject really. To appear confident is not the same thing as having embodied confidence. That is the first stepp to be aware of.

Confidence can also be split into a unproportionally amount across different parts of life for various reasons.

Other than that, confidence tend to be linked and fused into a mix of, Experience/naivite/ knowledge. It may be much more, but those are the most critical examples I can come up with right now that are directly linked to confidence.

 

[PlayOnWords]

Confidence in a nutshell: the ability to remain composed and content in any given situation, whether failing or succeeding.

[Yimpa]

Do something that you fear on a daily basis, even if it’s small things at first. Be very good at knowing when you are avoiding yourself. You cannot be confident as long as you are stuck ruminating and doubting yourself regularly. 

It’s also important to stop comparing yourself to others all the time. You have to be wise enough to know what is actually useful in your life right now, rather than some idealized fantasy that is out of your reach. For example, if you want to pursue bodybuilding, you can surely look up to Arnold Schwarzenegger, but if you’re watching videos of him lifting weights and expect to do exactly what he’s doing right off the bat, chances are you’ll lose confidence in yourself very fast. 

Edited July 21, 2023 by Yimpa

[Salvijus]

To have no self doubt. Could be bc of competence or stupidity or enlightenment (not caring about anything)

Edited July 21, 2023 by Salvijus

[CARDOZZO]

Boldness to act when you’re feeling good, bad, confused, afraid, competent, fool.

Doing what needs to be done. 

 

[Brandon Nankivell]

A feeling of certainty.

[hyruga]

There are so many things to talk about on confidence. One thing I will add is that if you need to have goals and a clear game plan of how to achieve them, then you will naturally become more confident.

[Ulax]

@StarStruck I'd make the distinction of situational v core confidence.

Core confidence requires self acceptance, Situational doesn't necessarily require it.

Situational is borne out of a perception of competence. Core confidence is borne out of a perception of worthiness.

[StarStruck]

@Ulax worthiness of what

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

@Ulax worthiness of what

@StarStruck Love, acceptance, respect, belonging