Is it beneficial for everyone to have babies?

[BojackHorseman]

If not, what separates the ones that would actually benefit from that, and the ones who don't?

(Obviously, I'm in the process of understanding that for myself but it could be an interesting subject, maybe)

[Sucuk Ekmek]

If you know how to make one, why not?

[Selfnaught]

I became a parent about three years ago. I am not the perfect parent so take this for what it is. 
 

it is not beneficial for everyone to have babies. Only have one if you want one when the timing is right.
 

you have to be financially and mentally ready. Be ready to support your other half as that is just as challenging as raising a newborn at times. Your other half must be on the same page as you. 
 

know that your child will be selfish and have no expectations and also expect nothing in return, not even a lasting relationship. 
 

What separates is the willingness and wanting to be a parent for yourself only and willing to love and also willing to let go. 
 

parenting can be rewarding, but the rewards are not a reason to want to be a parent. 
 

All egos are selfish. You have to ask yourself if this is how you want to be selfish, because you’re only doing this for you. 

Edited July 26, 2023 by Selfnaught

[BojackHorseman]

16 hours ago, Selfnaught said:

I became a parent about three years ago. I am not the perfect parent so take this for what it is. 
 

it is not beneficial for everyone to have babies. Only have one if you want one when the timing is right.
 

you have to be financially and mentally ready. Be ready to support your other half as that is just as challenging as raising a newborn at times. Your other half must be on the same page as you. 
 

know that your child will be selfish and have no expectations and also expect nothing in return, not even a lasting relationship. 
 

What separates is the willingness and wanting to be a parent for yourself only and willing to love and also willing to let go. 
 

parenting can be rewarding, but the rewards are not a reason to want to be a parent. 
 

All egos are selfish. You have to ask yourself if this is how you want to be selfish, because you’re only doing this for you. 

Sound like wise and honest words, thank you.

To be honest I don't feel the need to have a baby, at some point I even thought men didn't really have a strong need for this compared to women (from what I see and hear at least).

But maybe they do. And maybe it's my anxiety and other flaws they stop me from wanting one. I still don't know if I'm normal. I know nowadays it's safeto say you just don't want babies. But part of seem to think I should want one? Because it's what human do and if you don't want to do what humans always did,but might be because you're weak and unsure of yourself?

I know it sounds stupid and I could just get away with signing on the child free movement.

This would be the easier way for me.

But something doesn't feel right. Not sure what.

[BojackHorseman]

Have been giving more thoughts to this lately as I'm basically in a "let's make a baby or divorce" situation (a truly hearbreaking one, eating me from the inside).

I instinctively don't feel drawn to children at all, but maybe that's because I'm in a bad place and subject to lifelong depression, anxiety and adhd?

Maybe i'm egotistic?

I feel like nowadays the safe answer is "just do what you feel like", and it certainly contains truth, and is a needed stretch, as opposed to the older mentalities of "you're a weirdo if you don't have children/are married before XX age"...but also, like all extremes, I feel like this state of mind of thinking too freely might have drawbacks?

Maybe somebody like me that can't stop thinking and settle could actually benefit from some sort of routine and reconigizing myself in another human as he/she grows up?

I know it sounds like egotistic, controlling thoughts or whatnot, but if had children, despite the fact that I don't seem to like them, I'd be working 500% to make the best life for them while respecting their individuality as much as my conscious mind allow me too.

 

But yeah, I see all of my  friends now have children up until 10 year old, I don't want to FOMO, but it does feel weird and make you question yourself, like you're not part of these humanity's primal drives to procreate and transmit your knowledge and values or something.

 

 

[Sabth]

Yes . Everyone should have a baby. Or the world would be empty. 

[Yimpa]

Naw, this was addressed in this Gura episode:

 

[bebotalk]

On 21/07/2023 at 0:03 AM, BojackHorseman said:

If not, what separates the ones that would actually benefit from that, and the ones who don't?

(Obviously, I'm in the process of understanding that for myself but it could be an interesting subject, maybe)

if some want kids, fine. if others don't, fine. 

There are few things that prescriptively work for all. 

[Yimpa]

You can consider adopting a kitten and calling it your baby.