Female therapist said I might get arrested for showing girls other girls’ tiktoks

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Incorrect. It’s a video of a girl showing how to respond when guys invalidate it

Ignore that guy, he is a massive simp and almost everytime a guy posts a woman related issue here he just invalidates the complaint and blames him usually with horribly weak reasoning.

Your therapist sounds like a liberal feminist, you should vet her beliefs on masculinity and seriously consider finding a different one.

Edited July 20, 2023 by Raze

[something_else]

26 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Incorrect. It’s a video of a girl showing how to respond when guys invalidate it

It's still a bizarre thing to use as an opener. It doesn't give off any of the vibes you want an opener to give off.

You want your opener to convey:

• intelligence
• humour
• confidence
• charm
• social awareness
• safety

That can be as simple as "Hey, nice to meet you, I'm [name]" said with a smile and confidence, which can convey many of those attributes.

Showing a tiktok about periods to a girl you haven't even introduced yourself to yet gives off none of these. In fact it gives off the opposite vibe in many cases.

Edited July 20, 2023 by something_else

[Raze]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

It's still a bizarre thing to use as an opener. It doesn't give off any of the vibes you want an opener to give off.

You want your opener to convey:

• intelligence
• humour
• confidence
• charm
• social awareness
• safety

That can be as simple as "Hey, nice to meet you, I'm [name]" said with a smile and confidence, which can convey many of those.

Showing a tiktok about periods to a girl you haven't even introduced yourself to yet gives off the opposite of all of these.

Lol, that’s a horribly limited and false view of openers. Opening women with a gender related opinion question is a time tested and extremely effective indirect opener. Ex. The classic “I need a female opinion, who lies more, men or women” doesn’t fit any of your “standards” yet many guys have used it successfully especially in groups. It’s even played out now because it worked so well guys overused it and she may have heard it before. Even if you want to go direct and low key, just introducing yourself and offering nothing to hook or give intent is a horrible opener. You know nothing about game.

Edited July 20, 2023 by Raze

[something_else]

45 minutes ago, Raze said:

Lol, that’s a horribly limited and false view of openers. Opening women with a gender related opinion question is a time tested and extremely effective indirect opener. Ex. The classic “I need a female opinion, who lies more, men or women” doesn’t fit any of your “standards” yet many guys have used it successfully.

It conveys pretty much all of the traits listed if you do it with the right energy in the right social environment. OP would do much better with that than what he is trying.

OP wasn't really opening with a gender related opinion question, he was opening with a video on his phone about a man invalidating period claims. It's not really playful enough to be a good opener, and has the potential to be very clunky. There is lots of opportunity for awkwardness while a complete stranger is making her watch something on his phone. And then if you follow that up with trying to steer the conversation towards a sexual topic like OP said he was going to do, can you not see how that could very easily become creepy?

 I'm not saying you couldn't pull that off, but there is lots of opportunity for that to go quite wrong if you aren't very socially in-tune and you are running this opener against random women on the street. You would need to preface showing the video with some kind of more playful conversation and context as to why you care so much for her opinion on it.

 

Edited July 20, 2023 by something_else

[LSD-Rumi]

16 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

girls some tiktoks about a topic in which I’m very interested in order to facilitate a conversation of something

No, this is cringe.

 

16 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

idea might get me arrested for sexual harassment! Wow. As

No, this is pure paranoia. Don't listen to females when it comes to dating.

[Emotionalmosquito]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

he was opening with a video on his phone about a man invalidating period claims

Like I said, this is not the case, silly goose. It’s a video of a girl satirically showing how she’d like to deal with men who do invalidate their menstrual struggles. At least I hope it’s satirical.

You often say flirting is all about HOW you say stuff, and less about WHAT is said. Then in the same breath you go on saying how there are certain things which I should avoid. So which is it? And not just you but many people keep telling me the same thing, “The energy behind what you say is what counts” I can guarantee you if I were to open with something normal like “Hey, how are you today? I’m interested in meeting you” I’d have the same energy with that as I would if I were to say the things I really want to talk about. If girls already know what you want either way then what difference does it make?

[Emotionalmosquito]

Besides, are we going to keep acting like all women are some monolithic being? Seems pretty sexist if you ask me. I like to think different women respond to different things unless you’re coming at them as a complete unhinged nut job or immanent threat to their safety.

[something_else]

Quote

You often say flirting is all about HOW you say stuff, and less about WHAT is said. Then in the same breath you go on saying how there are certain things which I should avoid. So which is it?

The opening you are talking about is something that is relatively difficult to pull off, there's a lot that can go wrong. The HOW you say/do it is very difficult to get right because of WHAT you are saying/doing. But the HOW you say it is still more important. Does that make sense?

It is like how an olympic diver can probably jump off a 100ft cliff into the ocean and survive, but if you try it you will die. So you should avoid it and stick to 10ft cliffs until you know what you are doing.

8 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Besides, are we going to keep acting like all women are some monolithic being? Seems pretty sexist if you ask me. I like to think different women respond to different things unless you’re coming at them as a complete unhinged nut job or immanent threat to their safety.

Of course. But there are well documented things that the majority of women find creepy. Unusual, uncomfortable or awkward initial interactions are quite high on that list. So it's a good skill to be able to open conversations with new people and make them feel safe and comfortable.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 7/19/2023 at 8:09 PM, something_else said:

A woman can’t get you put in jail for showing them TikToks, but many women in the same area reporting you for being creepy probably could, rightfully so. 

This is exactly the reason we’re doomed and why so few men are approaching anymore. I don’t want any part of a reality where they can team up to get me fucking caged for nothing more than creeping them out a little when I’m not even being the least bit threatening. I am so absolutely done with this world if that’s the case. AND it’s a massive double standard because I will not be taken seriously by anyone if I complain about the opposite sex making me uncomfortable. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 7/20/2023 at 2:07 PM, something_else said:

It is like how an olympic diver can probably jump off a 100ft cliff into the ocean and survive, but if you try it you will die. So you should avoid it and stick to 10ft cliffs until you know what you are doing.

Now THAT, my friend, we can agree on. Jumping off a cliff is exactly like doing game only less painful 

Edited July 28, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[Kksd74628]

@Emotionalmosquito

Why on earth would you use that opener instead of almost anything else. Friendly tip, any controversial thing in social situations isn't really seen as cool and rather weird, creepy and offensive. Also if many women report you then prolly you belong to jail . I suggest you building your social circle, going parties and meeting people that way. You get healthier more holistic understanding of socializing that way anyway. I mean if you still wanna do "cold approaching" then just stick with something more down to earth.

Edited July 28, 2023 by Kksd74628

[Emotionalmosquito]

7 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

Also if many women report you then prolly you belong to jail

First of all, what’s your reasoning behind that? I hope you’re just joking because basically what you just said is I would deserve getting arrested for nothing more than showing girls tiktoks and asking their opinions on it. Because that’s all I’d be doing. 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

This is exactly the reason we’re doomed and why so few men are approaching anymore. I don’t want any part of a reality where they can team up to get me fucking caged for nothing more than creeping them out a little when I’m not even being the least bit threatening. 

Why are your desires for sex more important than a woman’s desire to feel safe?

Women are smaller and weaker than men. A small minority of men will kidnap women and chain them to radiators. A much larger minority of men will spike a woman’s drink, take her home and rape her.

If you were at risk of these things happening to you, do you not think you would be quite wary around men who were “creeping you out a little”?

That feeling a woman has around creepy men is the same feeling you have when you walk by a rowdy gang of dudes alone at night. 

No one is teaming up to put you in a cage. It’s not like that. If you consistently creep out enough woman in the same area, the number of reports against you to the same authority gets high enough that they will tell you to stop doing what you are doing, and if you don’t then they will arrest you. If you find yourself in that situation it is not the worlds fault, it is your fault for being a public nuisance and not heeding the numerous signals you got that what you were doing was making lots of people uncomfortable.

It’s absolutely possible to learn to navigate the social world without being creepy. That’s what you need to learn to do instead of getting hung up on what happens if you creep women out. I promise you it’s worth it.

Edited July 28, 2023 by something_else

[Emotionalmosquito]

36 minutes ago, something_else said:

If you were at risk of these things happening to you, do you not think you would be quite wary around men who were “creeping you out a little”?

 

No. I would recognize that ultimately, I’ll just have to roll the dice. The worst types of men that do the worst things tend to be very sneaky, socially well adjusted and good at passing women’s  sniff tests. So what separates an awkward harmless guy from a psycho comes down to gut feeling. Which is very often wrong seeing as how so many women and people in general end up with crazies. Time and time again we see examples of women making extremely poor judgement calls regarding mate selection. And I’m supposed to believe women think I’m trying to rape them all because they don’t like my sense of humor/interests? Give me a break. Not trying to straw man you here but that is what it sounds like.

If experienced PUAs are getting away with blatantly albeit jokingly telling girls they’re going to rape them or slaughter them and I’m getting in trouble for showing them cringe tiktoks, that is the world’s fault, not mine.

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Women are smaller and weaker than men.

Yes but they have every single other advantage over us. If we woke up one day and men were the more fragile ones, I highly highly doubt we would see laws readjust any time soon. The overwhelming majority of men have a huge soft spot for the human female creature and are willing to extend a helping hand when needed and defend like warriors much more than they are towards other men.

53 minutes ago, something_else said:

If you consistently creep out enough woman in the same area,

The most important thing here is whether or not the reason they’re being creeped out is valid or not. If I’m going around grabbing ass cheeks and making threats, that would be different. But if I get in trouble because multiple girls report me for simply bringing up a topic they don’t like (which is what some of you guys have suggested may happen), tell me how that’s reasonable at all. 

I should also mention that I tried the approach that this thread is about a few times. I’m about to tell you what happened. Ready for this? Here it goes! They had a normal, down to earth conversation with me about it. All of them. Amazing, right? Say it ain’t so. But to be fair it’s very possible that deep down they were all horrified by what was happening but misled me. Because women fucking lie all the time about everything. Especially about their emotions and how interested they are in a conversation.

[Emotionalmosquito]

@something_else you never hear of women getting in trouble for threatening to cut someone’s dick off even though they are more than capable of such an attack. People mostly just laugh it off as though it’s something to be laughed about, but if the guy made a similar joke/threat at her expense, he’d be the devil and possibly questioned by authorities. I’m sure you’ve noticed this one: in clubs, women usually get away with groping and physically sexually harassing guys but look what happens when it’s the other way around. This one has nothing to do with size or strength. You don’t feel offended by groping because you’re afraid the groper is going to overpower and take advantage of you. It’s about the complete disregard for personal boundaries and extreme disrespect right then at that moment. Sadly, female on male groping is almost completely normalized and accepted in most nightclubs and even schools.

There’s hundreds of examples I could go through. 

[Kksd74628]

@Emotionalmosquito

You missed the point. Of course it was overexaggerated, but the point was that no normal human being gets ACCIDENTLY multiple reports. If that would happen to you or anyone else I would highly recommend becoming more socially aware during next social interactions, because that's JUST not a thing to happen by an accident. But even that wasn't the whole point. It was just to tell you to reconsider what you should and shouldn't do at least in early meetings with new people.

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

But if I get in trouble because multiple girls report me for simply bringing up a topic they don’t like

That sentence tells enough of your REAL social life experience. Yeah could happen randomly sometimes and would be a thing to laugh with your whole friend group, but multiple girls doing it for "no reason at all" just isn't reality, sir.

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

women usually get away with groping and physically sexually harassing guys but look what happens when it’s the other way around.

But here's the point that if sexy girl touches guy it isn't harassing at least I wouldn't take it like that . I get your point what you're trying to say, but in reality we're living right now, accept the rules of the game and play your best move according to it. You need to be sensitive and nuanced with these things. It ain't black and white as any other social/moral thing.

Hope that this cleared some of those misunderstandings.

[Bando]

Arnt you the guy who got kicked out a bar for saying inappropriate things to girls? Going up to women and showing them tik toks of weird hypothetical scenerios regarding male female dynamics is almost always going to end up awkward, especially if your intent is to build some sort of attraction. 

You can go down this route once you already past hook point and you can feel a vibe but even then its sub-optimal game, why introduce "controversial" topics to a stranger? You know its weird because it took you multiple replies for you to even explain what you were showing the women.

Your line of thinking in this thread represents someone who is bitter about women and if you don't think that is showing up when you show these women your tik tok videos your socially uncalibrated.

Also go to a male therapist who has some understanding of dating dynamics and its still "in tune" with younger people. Your therapist should has some life experience solving the problems you've faced. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 7/27/2023 at 8:05 PM, something_else said:

If you were at risk of these things happening to you, do you not think you would be quite wary around men who were “creeping you out a little”?

 

On 7/27/2023 at 8:05 PM, something_else said:

“creeping you out a little”?

You frame this question in a way that makes it seem like it’s always my fault when they feel that way. What about when they act like I’m some psycho when I literally did not even say the tiniest thing out of place or sexual or abnormal or controversial or offensive in any way whatsoever? Or what about when they act like stuck up brats that are offended because some rat like me thought he was good enough to strike up a chat with them?

 

 

 

Edited August 5, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

Try not to show insecure girls videos of attractive girls as it can seem condensending and off-putting. 

No arrest. Possibly you'll be detained. Remove your phone from the cold-approach until you close for the number.