Women find it disgusting that I am approaching them

[The Redeemer]

So I have been going out and what I am finding is that they are disgusted that I even find them attractive.

Do they have low self-esteem? Should I treat them with disrespect? What is the deal?

[CARDOZZO]

8 minutes ago, The Redeemer said:

they are disgusted that I even find them attractive

How do you know that?

Are you doing mental reading on women?

[something_else]

If you lack confidence, give off bad/creepy energy, are dressed badly, or have poor hygiene/grooming it could cause this reaction.

It’s also possible you are misinterpreting social cues and thinking women are disgusted when they are just not interested.

No you should not treat them with disrespect. You should learn to understand why your actions are causing them to feel a certain way and try to make changes based on that.

Edited July 19, 2023 by something_else

[CARDOZZO]

What I recommend:

• Owen Cook - Blueprint & Hot Seat At Home (Courses)
• Leo Gura - How to Get Laid Series (YT Videos)
• Zan Perrion - The Alabaster Girl (Book)
• Peter Ralston - Zen Body Being (Book)
• NLP - Programming your mind to be calm, charismatic, funny. (Books/Courses)

Edited July 20, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[Spiritedness]

@CARDOZZO Do you know where I can access Owen's "Blueprint & Hot Seat At Home"? Is the first one a book and the 2nd one a course?

Edited July 20, 2023 by Spiritedness

[CARDOZZO]

@Spiritedness They are both courses.

You can go to Owen’s YouTube Channel.

He’s always selling his courses on lives.

 

[The Redeemer]

2 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

How do you know that?

Are you doing mental reading on women?

Mhm

[The Redeemer]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

If you lack confidence, give off bad/creepy energy, are dressed badly, or have poor hygiene/grooming it could cause this reaction.

It’s also possible you are misinterpreting social cues and thinking women are disgusted when they are just not interested.

No you should not treat them with disrespect. You should learn to understand why your actions are causing them to feel a certain way and try to make changes based on that.

I just think it is unnecessary to have a perfect appearance all the time. I have long hair, so maybe that is the reason.

Edited July 20, 2023 by The Redeemer

[Raze]

You are extremely insecure, paranoid, and vindictive. Stop approaching women, you are not ready for it. You need to see a psychologist. 

Edited July 20, 2023 by Raze

[The Redeemer]

12 minutes ago, Raze said:

You are extremely insecure, paranoid, and vindictive. Stop approaching women, you are not ready for it. You need to see a psychologist. 

Go to hell

[Raze]

3 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

Go to hell

Do you think it’s normal to have a breakdown on this forum everytime you get rejected? Do you think it’s normal to rant about how unfair it is you don’t have friends and womens lives are easier? I’m pretty sure I saw you post a death threat on here (if I’m mistaking you for someone else my bad)

what is your plan to resolve this? Do you think you are going to stop getting rejected so this will stop being a problem? Or if you just keep repeating this cycle it will eventually stop getting to you?

You don’t seem to understand how serious your problem is and how it’s getting worse the longer you don’t address it properly. You’re telling me to “go to hell”, but you’re in “hell” right now.

Edited July 20, 2023 by Raze

[Roy]

The fact you are even doing this is amazing for growth, and sets you easily ahead of half of guys, so good for you! As discouraging as it may be sometimes based on their reactions, you need to have the mindset that how they feel and react isn't really that important.

Why you may ask? Because you should already be moving onto the next one. There are literally billions of them out there. Who gives a shit what one of them thinks?

As long as you aren't deliberately trying to hurt anyone physically or emotionally, there is no problem. Keep going.

[The Redeemer]

8 minutes ago, Raze said:

Do you think it’s normal to have a breakdown on this forum everytime you get rejected? Do you think it’s normal to rant about how unfair it is you don’t have friends and womens lives are easier? I’m pretty sure I saw you post a death threat on here (if I’m mistaking you for someone else my bad)

what is your plan to resolve this? Do you think you are going to stop getting rejected so this will stop being a problem? Or if you just keep repeating this cycle it will eventually stop getting to you?

You don’t seem to understand how serious your problem is and how it’s getting worse the longer you don’t address it properly. You’re telling me to “go to hell”, but you’re in “hell” right now.

Blah Blah Blah go fuck yourself bro. I am taking action.

[The Redeemer]

26 minutes ago, Roy said:

The fact you are even doing this is amazing for growth, and sets you easily ahead of half of guys, so good for you! As discouraging as it may be sometimes based on their reactions, you need to have the mindset that how they feel and react isn't really that important.

Why you may ask? Because you should already be moving onto the next one. There are literally billions of them out there. Who gives a shit what one of them thinks?

As long as you aren't deliberately trying to hurt anyone physically or emotionally, there is no problem. Keep going.

Thank you. Someone who is supporting my growth.

[Roy]

3 minutes ago, The Redeemer said:

Thank you. Someone who is supporting my growth.

No problem. Just remember you are going to have negative and awkward experiences, but they don't matter. Don't hold onto them and let go to focus on the next thing.

I talked to probably hundreds of girls throughout my life before getting my first few girlfriends. I can't even remember most of them at this point.

Once you get something good that you worked for you will easily forget all the hardships and realized it was all worth it.

Edited July 20, 2023 by Roy

[Emotionalmosquito]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

There are literally billions of them out there.

This “plenty of fish in the sea” concept is played out and unhelpful. For those of us who don’t have the money, energy or resources to move out of our bullshit 60k population city, it means nothing to us. How many women are single? The number instantly gets cut in half at best. How many are heterosexual? The number drops further. How many are within the correct age range? There goes even more options. How many aren’t stuck up nut cases with ridiculously high standards? There goes a whole bunch more. See what I mean? We actually have very very little to work with if we’re lucky

[Roy]

2 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

For those of us who don’t have the money, energy or resources to move out of our bullshit 60k population city, it means nothing to us.

Stop making excuses. I've spent most of my life living in towns and small cities barely over 25K people and led a great dating life.

I'm not a special person and could make it work, so why can't you?

[mr_engineer]

Just don't do pick-up, then. Practice meeting women through your social-circle. Pick-up may not be for you. 

You need a very thick skin for rejection if you're going to do pick-up. You have to see women as a number and nothing more than that until they date you. You have to be very pragmatic. I don't feel intuitively guided to have this attitude towards dating and women. I would like to have more information about a woman before I make up my mind about her too, I would like things to go more 'naturally' for me. Pick-up really does feel like I would be forcing the issue, which is precisely why it primarily attracts players who want to use and throw women. Maybe that's what disgusts women about you cold-approaching them, that this may just not be your attitude towards dating in general, and you're committing to a process that you're not authentically on board with. 

Basically, what I'm getting at is that you need to have a 'player-frame', it should appeal to you. Then you will succeed in pick-up. To me personally, I find the player-frame very disgusting. And it doesn't align me with my goals, it feels like a big distraction, to become so cold-hearted towards women just so that I will have stories of sexual escapades to talk about. That's the only benefit of casual sex, really. (And, by the way, having a player-frame does not make you more 'loving' towards women, it makes you less 'loving'.)

Edited July 20, 2023 by mr_engineer

[charlie cho]

No bro. Whatever country you are in, as I am in Korea, you don't need to be disrespectful. Off hand cocky comedy, but respectfully is important, because having cockiness, comedy, and respectfulness shows the girl you don't need to 'show' that you are cool by being disrespectful. Unless she's an idiot, they won't be attracted by disrespect, and I would only say less than 3% of women are really idiots. 

However, even if your face doesn't need to be very attractive, it is indeed important to be physically fit, and wear clothes nicely, and design your face nicely. Almost to the artistic extent. Kind of like how Confucius liked to order his disciples to wear nicely and act like a true scholar and saint, the expression of your consciousness may need to be spot on, Manners. Then even if you are not very attractive, if you are physically fit, and can wear clothes nicely, do your hair tidy, clean, no women (even if you are a midget) will frown at you for approaching them. Just say 'I was walking by, and to just go by without speaking to you would have been a waste, because I thought you were cute', or something to that extent. 

Now the real question is, how do I get that design sense? 

I know many people have their own stupid opinions, but listen to me, because only I'm right. Learn to draw or something like that, and instantly you get what it means to have good design sense. Just like many musicians (even if they aren't singers) have great voices, because playing with sounds make them sensitive to how they sound to others, practicing drawing will make you sensitive how you will be visually percieved. This is the no nonsense way to learn fashion. I mean, learning to facepaint, and learning to do fashion, the base level is to learn to draw even for those university students who have fashion degrees or for make up artists. 

And I'm assuming you're not a 5'1 inches tall, or very dumb. 

Take care of how you act (expression of good spirits), take care of fashion, and speak in a straight forward way with no bullshit, the women love men with no bs. 

[The Redeemer]

11 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Just don't do pick-up, then. Practice meeting women through your social-circle. Pick-up may not be for you. 

You need a very thick skin for rejection if you're going to do pick-up. You have to see women as a number and nothing more than that until they date you. You have to be very pragmatic. I don't feel intuitively guided to have this attitude towards dating and women. I would like to have more information about a woman before I make up my mind about her too, I would like things to go more 'naturally' for me. Pick-up really does feel like I would be forcing the issue, which is precisely why it primarily attracts players who want to use and throw women. Maybe that's what disgusts women about you cold-approaching them, that this may just not be your attitude towards dating in general, and you're committing to a process that you're not authentically on board with. 

Basically, what I'm getting at is that you need to have a 'player-frame', it should appeal to you. Then you will succeed in pick-up. To me personally, I find the player-frame very disgusting. And it doesn't align me with my goals, it feels like a big distraction, to become so cold-hearted towards women just so that I will have stories of sexual escapades to talk about. That's the only benefit of casual sex, really. (And, by the way, having a player-frame does not make you more 'loving' towards women, it makes you less 'loving'.)

I think I might try doing some jungle game.