Sharing Progress Of My Life Purpose!

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am quiet enthusiastic about working at the new company as they seem very conscious in contrast to what I've witnessed in my life, it's like a big company with start up feelings and excellent perks, I was invited to their welcome days for two days, and I have to make some minor preperations and it's also an excellent opportunity to network again and meet other human beigns. 

I had a lot of insights the last years, and I noticed how self-deceived I was by fundamentally a lot of stuff, that even includes actualized.org, and I notice I do better if I interact less with the website, and integrate the practical advice, yet my value of leadership and most likely my level of narccicism in beign an authority has been a thorn in my eyes. I re-visited my values for the n'th time this year and finally made the decision to change the majority of it, and I noticed this was an intended part of the LP course. I noticed over the last years with all the consciouness expierments and mental health crisises I've been through how some fundamental deeper values have been rising, as well as how important beign successful to me is and having friends with drive and ambition, who enjoy beauty especially. The beauty of reality & nature and not only survival and being some dominating creature.

I re-evaluated my values to the following and will continue today, to get a very deep integration and continue with this proccess most likely for the next few years, and deeply build passions and strengths. I've took multiple personality tests, besides the MBTI, HEXACO, Enneagram, Pennsilvenia University Strenght & Happiness Finder etc, so again other personality tests! I am not listing now!. I discovered new patterns of my personality & character that are extremely important to me and also value based. For example the biggest insight I had was how low I score on anxiety as a value, while having been in fear and panic a lot the last couple of years, and I found the laughable cultprit almost, and how detail oriented this flaw finding is, and how connected it was to my real life. (Spoiler: It was simply coffee & the connection it had to my family history and modernity & meritocracy). I also received new insights about my family history of the U.S where I barely have any conscious memory of and it has been a struggle to many can not comprehend how much energy and work it takes to move a country, and to go through the bureaucracy of it. The emotional labour of it is immense. Anyhow, I re-configured my values currently through all of this inner work, and I am very focused upon practical integration. My dating life has become better, I left some PUA group as I saw how scummy and disgusting low lifes these humans are and I started to hate myself to be associated with drug taking power lords who can't give proper feedback, and how they act as if "Truth" is material reality and are in denial about so much, my stomach just turns. My career options just most likely 100x'ed it, I am beign offered a hotel as working student to attend some greeting I find it amazing. I found out what I am fundamentally motivated in life, it's mastery, meaning and autonomey. As well as my fundamental weakness is balance, while a core strenght of mine is innovation, which dovetails with curiosity from the LP course. (Insights from different personality tests). I've been meeting utterly deep and profound people via online-dating apps, just by estimating their character and I am so inclined to give my best to life my life to the fullest. I digressed a bit, yet here is my new value list.

1. Consciouness & Awareness
2. Beauty
3. Exellence
4. Health/Vigor/Energy
5. Wisdom 
6. Passion/Enthusiasm
7. Mastery
8. Truth
9. Love/Romance/Intimacy
10. Leadership 

I did some changes, after I've been a bit skull f*ked by the new university, yet I basically exercise my power and I intruige people, I completely forgot that I have an intrinsic depth to me that I developed through mastery of conscious leadership and working with other more conscious humans, as it DOES NOT WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NO INTERESTED AND READY FOR IT. I will re-do their meanings I completely forgot how important the value of truth to me was to not self-deceive myself and how much I immensely value beauty. Due to contradictory experiences. I asked myself some questions and will integrate this with a success journal to be very practical about values, and self-motivation and steps. I for example never noticed how much I enjoy taking care of my physical appearance and the benefits of socialization I get from it, it's a true holonic feeling I can't deny. I feel whole and healed in a sense, by seeing and enjoying beauty in all of it's forms and it helps me immensely with hatred and compassion. To see the beauty in everything etc. Mathematics, coding project creation, creation of form itself etc. 

Why am I making this post? I originally was intersted in what insights helped you to realize your life purpose, the amount of inner work that can be done is exhausting and I'd like to balance things out more, and be aware when I take more action and plan. As I took a lot of reflection and this takes an immense amount of maturity and integrity I don't frankly see in others, so I notice I am more than ready to take on real leadership roles and responsibilities, as I don't have this type of attitude. I'd still be interested in what you insight and realization made you help to realize and love life? This is fundamentally the reason of my post. Be it may that you saw the beauty of a tortoise  swimming in the ocean etc. Seeing someone give money to homeless people. 

I am very proud of myself how fast I recovered the last year, and how much I can let go and still create the life I yearn to, even when I deep down know how "disgusting" I find humans, I know I love human existence fundamentally deep down, I thought more about honoring the work Leo provided and look past his character, as I can find some biases I don't enjoy, the level of practical insights I got from him are unmatched. As well as it feels like I am building deep self-love and joy for existence. What I will do the next year and coming years? The practical steps I intuit are the following:

• Buying a guitar to play funk and connect back to beauty and passion of existence
• Build even deeper coding expertise and move to the U.S and build some income stream
• Conscious integration of these values, for e.g beauty is more important than clarity and order to me, it entails both
• Work consciously with a success journal on goals, and beign more patient with results
• 30 minute meditations instead of 1h, do psychdelics instead of retreats, and the cherry on top, if I get more time after finishing studies to retreats and switch. 
• 30 minute of shadow work shamanic breathing (if possible)
• Upgrade the experience I have in software engineering, build more on real world projects (finally)
• Continue my exercise programm I changed due to injury I bet 4-5 times to just experiment with what works 
• Practical Intuition & Wisdom, living more from beauty, wisdom and mastery
• Be on a path career path where I can earn 300k+ USD, so I can buy a house and create multiple income streams 
• Networking a lot more 

These are the more practical steps, I don't find it easy to be practical and often I just do it and I don't even know how practical I am and have become. Some stuff could have been simply be done faster, yet I have to also see what is possible. I'd definitely would like to get some real leadership positions and talk and find some mentors. There are still some inner qualms I have and a lot changed, I'd like to share this progress and ultimately be grateful for the practial advice Leo is giving & sharing. I hope I can seriously find a place where I can solve human problems and mankind problems as well as be conscious and work on having a conscious family without children etc. There is so much beauty in existence I yearn to experience. Also nightime and going out meeting some real people again, not fake PUA's who act like immature self-deceived kids when it comes to advice. 

Thanks again for all of the work I hope the questions I wrote down in private will ultimately be the path of creation I yearn to create. I really love to see and feel progress, and I hope with this new structure and experience I can finally still have the adventure I yearned for. There is a lot more very subtle progress, yet letting this values sink in for the next couple of months and giving them new definitions today is already fantastic. I attracted also some new more and or less conscious friends, so I am very glad. I notice how I can walk the walk of being sponatenous and structured also more. I also watched and listend to Leo's happiness episode again, and saw the quote from Leibnitz about divinity. I was utterly overwhelmed with joy, that my base intuition was right, when I first landed here and generally when I research wisdom. That there are a lot of similarities I have insight wise and also a clear difference. I just experience material reality a lot differently, and I know what I yearn for ... and I basically most likely will make this possible. I'd love to share this also, as I've been overprojected on in my life, and I wish at times people would stop and seriously praise effort. I am 30 minutes into this. 

 

Edited July 17, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[CARDOZZO]

What do you like to program?

I really like robotics, embedded computing, websites, games.

[ValiantSalvatore]

54 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

What do you like to program?

I really like robotics, embedded computing, websites, games.

Embedded Computing is interesting I so far have mainly been in application development for mobile phones, very nische in a sense and now into A.I I find it difficult due to lack of exposure of projects I like application development of any kind the most so far, wether that is A.I and or robotics. I am not that much of a hardware fan. The most fun conceptually I have with insights and real data, I'd love to work as a data scientist machine learning engineer and or nlp programmer and I am checking computer lingusitc and data science next.I intuit this is more where my heart could be, and others pointed to this. 
I really enjoy generating insights from data, and information itself. At the new work place I will work on their internal e-learning plattform as first project, I find it tricky as the most joy I have self-taught, I'd like to see what happens in the real world more, I was so zooned out of this. 
I wanted to join the robotics thing at my old university and I could not at the new one, they offer more bioinformatics and a.i. Autonemous driving is 100% interesting, as long as it get's not super technical, because at the end it's so much freaking maths my head explodes, I really have to see what I enjoy after finishing some classes. I am happy just coding, I find it difficult to find a nische, yet I have a nische in mind, I'd love to create. Especially with text-to-voice programming type stuff and NLP, I do have to really see how ML is applied in real life, as I am now a Java Dev/Eng so far. 

I definitely would also enjoy coding for sports widgets and devices, like Garmin, Apple Watch etc user interfaces and their backend. That is also interesting from a design perspective and I love the hidden power of anroid phones so far. I currently do my best to get more into Python, and integrate some interal stuff, as I can't just code all day, and I am also quiet extroverted by temperament, not personality. 
I hope my friend will join in going to the GamesCom and speaking to developers here in Germany, so I have some insight into that field also. I am unfortunately very versatile, I really love the idea of ChatGPT and NLP has been advised to me a couple of times, I hope computer linguistic and data science in linguistics especially. So far I did not enjoy to much the a.i classes. I would really love to work on a real project first, yet currently my intuition guides me into computer linguistics & data science, due to exposure of mathmatics. I have to see deep learning is quite insane. 

It's difficult to say due to lack of cool projects, I would also be intersted in coding tools for animations and films, that would be very cool, yet I have no idea who does stuff like this. I am also very influentiable, I could unfortunately not go into robotics, yet I could see myself in finance for example. I love to track stuff and sort of squeeze my inner drive for exellence, especially in finance somehow, that would be also cool. I really have to see. There are some cool projects where the company works with the german federal police, and stuff like this. There is so much, I really have no idea. I mostly look inductive for the patterns of code I enjoy and then would choose to project accordingly. Websdesign is cool, app development is cool, robotics I have never done, a.i stuff is hard, but very cool, helping to reduce the spread of ilnesses and full meta-systemic thinking, based on realtively "advanced, but understandable maths" etc. I really have to see. 
Also anything that possibly allows for control, and accuracy is interesting, yet I have no idea I like so much, I find it tricky to stay consistent and dive deep then. I really had to implement the value of beauty, I notice when I talked to other extremely good programmers in A.I they all have a touch of beauty to them in how they see code. 

If I could work for a company that creates bots for text-to-speech implementations etc. So fundamentally I will be heading into computer linguistic combined with A.I & data science apparently I just checked to curriculum if there are interconnections, and there are! It's a bit more me also, as well as NLP, and see how deep I can get to the technical end. I've tested so many waters, I hope this is it. 

Sorry for typos I find it really difficult to answer, I'd love to get into some form of meta-systemic data analysis. 

Edited July 17, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Heart of Space]

You sound somewhat naive, but you have the right idea.

Advice from someone who has accomplished the things you are trying to do:

1)  Get rid of all drugs including psychedelics.

2)  Spiritually and culturally be good at socially conforming.  Example:  if you're in a Christian society be a Christian.  

3)  You're intellectualizing too much by writing this post even.  Focus on building fundamentals only.  Life is built on simple consistency and discipline.  If it feels boring, painful, and like work you're probably doing the right thing.  

Bath in the ocean of boredom and the mundane and you will find your greatest success and potential.

[Heart of Space]

And one more piece of advice for you that might be painful to consider.

In any career situation or human organization you have to understand that your role is almost always quite a bit more simple in practice than a young person that's very bright may conceive of in advance of actually living your life.

Even in the brightest circles of modern society you'll realize that our world is filled and built by people of moderate talent whom work very hard.  Nothing flashy, just a bunch of well behaved squares basically.  

Edited July 17, 2023 by Heart of Space

[ValiantSalvatore]

13 hours ago, Heart of Space said:

You sound somewhat naive, but you have the right idea.

Advice from someone who has accomplished the things you are trying to do:

1)  Get rid of all drugs including psychedelics.

2)  Spiritually and culturally be good at socially conforming.  Example:  if you're in a Christian society be a Christian.  

3)  You're intellectualizing too much by writing this post even.  Focus on building fundamentals only.  Life is built on simple consistency and discipline.  If it feels boring, painful, and like work you're probably doing the right thing.  

Bath in the ocean of boredom and the mundane and you will find your greatest success and potential.

You sound like a conservative cult leader. You're advice does not function for someone like me and I will fundamentally work with higher consciouness people with whom I'll be working with as the culture of the company is extremely modern. Nothing like this type of human enslavement message. Making it about hard work and moral and christian faith, like some fundamentalist sheep. 
You sound like some rigid toxic stage orange stuck materalist, who lacks social skills and seriously lacks them and some immature conservative kid that just wants to dominante and can't properly negotiate. I've seen plenty of computer scientist beign some christian dog for some lame as company and they don't progress, it's over with this shit. The decadence will even win out over this attitude.
Don't get me wrong I work a lot, yet there is a difference between working smart and hard, as well as living wu-wei. Well behaved squares would be the death of me, this will not happen. You certainly sound like some manipulative and conservatively arrogant gaslighting type of power driven white man. 
You're seriously dead where I am working at, I am glad so at best keep your advice for yourself. I am also out if this forum turns to right-wing attitude like. 
Your advice is as basic as you and you are fundamentally to self-deceived to see your own shit. Your entire world view functions on the world view of merit alone and beign a sheep. You don't comprehend also the complexity most likely socially and are ignorant people like you are ignored mostly and fundamentally I will not work with someone like you. You do you. I am glad I avoided this attitude in the current company. 
I will not work for some control freak. GL with your message I am pretty sure you'll be banned and your advice is also pretty bad and so basic, what kind of power trip are you on? To give such basic advice, and project issues that are not even there. Talking to you I bet people get depression and you laugh about it. 

Also leave me tf alone with christian stuff, you're insane in my eyes. If you have success it must be at some extremely basic company for some extremely basic and non-creative purpose. I ignore you from now on and leave the forum again, if I could sue you for your message I would. 

"well behaved squares"
"you sound naive"
"moderate talent"

Bro, I have never seen worse social skills, all you most likely have done is manipulate kind people. I am disgusted with people like you. 
Go to the military and or smth. yet leave creatives alone. Go watch your Jordan Peterson and pray to some christian chruch and continue your ethnocentric warfare against humanity. 

You are ignored. Got work and live in China before you open your mouth to me seriously, you are disgusting. 
 

Edited July 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Heart of Space]

6 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

You sound like a conservative cult leader. You're advice does not function for someone like me and I will fundamentally work with higher consciouness people with whom I'll be working with as the culture of the company is extremely modern. Nothing like this type of human enslavement message. Making it about hard work and moral and christian faith, like some fundamentalist sheep. 
You sound like some rigid toxic stage orange stuck materalist, who lacks social skills and seriously lacks them and some immature conservative kid that just wants to dominante and can't properly negotiate. I've seen plenty of computer scientist beign some christian dog for some lame as company and they don't progress, it's over with this shit. The decadence will even win out over this attitude.
Don't get me wrong I work a lot, yet there is a difference between working smart and hard, as well as living wu-wei. Well behaved squares would be the death of me, this will not happen. You certainly sound like some manipulative and conservatively arrogant gaslighting type of power driven white man. 
You're seriously dead where I am working at, I am glad so at best keep your advice for yourself. I am also out if this forum turns to right-wing attitude like. 
Your advice is as basic as you and you are fundamentally to self-deceived to see your own shit. Your entire world view functions on the world view of merit alone and beign a sheep. You don't comprehend also the complexity most likely socially and are ignorant people like you are ignored mostly and fundamentally I will not work with someone like you. You do you. I am glad I avoided this attitude in the current company. 
I will not work for some control freak. GL with your message I am pretty sure you'll be banned and your advice is also pretty bad and so basic, what kind of power trip are you on? To give such basic advice, and project issues that are not even there. Talking to you I bet people get depression and you laugh about it. 

Also leave me tf alone with christian stuff, you're insane in my eyes. If you have success it must be at some extremely basic company for some extremely basic and non-creative purpose. I ignore you from now on and leave the forum again, if I could sue you for your message I would. 

"well behaved squares"
"you sound naive"
"moderate talent"

Bro, I have never seen worse social skills, all you most likely have done is manipulate kind people. I am disgusted with people like you. 
Go to the military and or smth. yet leave creatives alone. Go watch your Jordan Peterson and pray to some christian chruch and continue your ethnocentric warfare against humanity. 

You are ignored. Got work and live in China before you open your mouth to me seriously, you are disgusting. 
 

SUE MY MESSAGE?  My word.  

I feel ostracized, unaccepted, and hated by you.  Now I go into work today with LESS confidence then I had before that I'm doing the right thing.  I might be a little less effective at work.  ANd I will be a little less happy around my family.  My life and view points that I've lived by for many years are under assault.  

Edited July 18, 2023 by Heart of Space