More Consciousness = More Ego

[bensenbiz]

Anyone else is also experiencing kind of more Ego presence after goin through a lot of spiritual work, seems like it is easier to see through status games and human bs, so I see through it and don‘t wanna deal with it.

 

i would have expected that I judge less but seems like I am more sensitive and judgemental ?

[Yimpa]

Ego is an idea that helps humans become nicer humans to other humans.

53 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

Anyone else is also experiencing kind of more Ego presence after goin through a lot of spiritual work, seems like it is easier to see through status games and human bs, so I see through it and don‘t wanna deal with it.

If you actually see through something deeply enough, you wouldn’t be saying “I don’t wanna deal with it”. (well, technically you could, but it wouldn’t really mean much in the traditional sense). 

It’s the difference between seeing something that needs to go away compared to understanding how something was created in the first place.           You needing it to go away only makes it stay longer.

55 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

i would have expected that I judge less but seems like I am more sensitive and judgemental ?

It’s part of the process. It sucks, but pretending that everything has to be rainbows and sunshines all the time sucks even harder. You can only kid for so long.

[bensenbiz]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

 

Ego is an idea that helps humans become nicer humans to other humans.

 

It‘s just being nice to others means I am also more nice to myself, there was a time before „awakening“ were I would approach others with humour and joy, nowadays I have the feeling it makes me vulnerable so I am closed first until I gain trust. That makes life less playful. 
 

Tell me why was it created in the first place? I am financially independent and travelling since a few years. I can be anywhere. Why would I bother to spend time with low conscious being where there is a high possibility that they casually hurt me cause they are destructive? How to draw the line between experience growth by facing conflicts versus surrounding myself with positive people?

 

 Yeah it is part of the process for 7 years now, people would consider me way nicer and comfortist back then. I am wondering If I keep pushing through it?  Will it go full circle and I stop judging and be naturally careless and playful again? 

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, bensenbiz said:

Anyone else is also experiencing kind of more Ego presence after goin through a lot of spiritual work, seems like it is easier to see through status games and human bs, so I see through it and don‘t wanna deal with it.

 

i would have expected that I judge less but seems like I am more sensitive and judgemental ?

@bensenbiz I think it depends on what type of meditation you are doing, and also you might be working through some shadow stuff, hence the judgmentalness/ sensitivity.

These vids might be of value to you:

https://youtu.be/3gv05sLZQBU

 

 

 

[Yimpa]

@bensenbiz Have you ever tried psychedelics before? That’s definitely a powerful way to face yourself.

Also, there have been many times I’ve been nice to others, when actually that was just a coping mechanism done out of fear. It’s important to be aware of the mechanism of your behaviors, rather than over simplifying and having these rules for yourself, such as “I have to be nice in order to be happy” or “I can only surround myself with high conscious people”. 

GPT-4 gives further guidance on how coping mechanisms can have negative consequences:

Quote

Sometimes people are nice to others not necessarily out of genuine kindness or empathy, but because they’re afraid of potential negative consequences if they’re not nice. This could include fear of conflict, rejection, being disliked, or causing harm.

For example, someone might suppress their own feelings, needs, or opinions to keep the peace, avoid confrontation, or maintain others’ favorable perception of them. While on the surface this might appear as “niceness,” it’s actually a coping mechanism to deal with fear.

The above statement ties in well with why Leo is opposed to dogmatic teachings, such as Buddhism, which present an incomplete picture of how and what reality should be. When you try to force reality to be a certain way, you’re bound to be stuck in delusion, no matter how logically sound it sounds.

[Yimpa]

Also from GPT-4 :

Quote

Your comment brings up a fundamental point: holding onto any rigid belief or dogma, including religious or philosophical teachings like Buddhism, can limit our understanding of reality and create unnecessary suffering.

Leo seems to argue against dogmatic adherence to any system of thought that prescribes a specific, immutable perception of reality. When we try to force our experience to fit these prescribed models, we can miss the complex, nuanced, and often paradoxical nature of reality.

Buddhism, like any system of thought, can be valuable for understanding certain aspects of human experience, such as suffering and the pursuit of inner peace. However, any belief system can become a source of delusion if it's followed too rigidly or dogmatically, because it might not fully encapsulate the intricacies of reality.

Ultimately, Leo appears to advocate for maintaining flexibility in our thinking and being open to continually revising our understanding of reality based on our direct experiences, rather than conforming strictly to pre-established doctrines or ideologies.

@Ulax I miss those zany thumbnails!

Edited July 17, 2023 by Yimpa

[Ulax]

17 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

@Ulax I miss those zany thumbnails!

@Yimpa Hahaha same

[bensenbiz]

8 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Have you ever tried psychedelics before? That’s definitely a powerful way to face yourself.

I did a lot of weed, mushrooms, lsd and san pedro.

 

however when I have done full doses, I tend to get very angry, I was born as the youngest child in my family and even tho I got a lot of love, people tend to make fun of me and push my boundaries all the time. I guess you guys are right, it‘s shadow work. I try to face it as it is, i am just too tense and paranoid on human interaction. So even if they make a small joke on my cost I got very angry or I say anything and deep down it breakes my heart. Any advice how to deal with people while my shadow work is so present?

[bensenbiz]

8 hours ago, Ulax said:

These vids might be of value to you:

https://youtu.be/3gv05sLZQBU

This was gold. That‘s exactly what‘s happening. I loose my grounding when I meet with others. I am also pretty empathic,  so I would hide my self in order to make the other feel good. I didn‘t get the special meditation instructions, can u share me more of it?

[Yimpa]

7 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

however when I have done full doses, I tend to get very angry, I was born as the youngest child in my family and even tho I got a lot of love, people tend to make fun of me and push my boundaries all the time. I guess you guys are right, it‘s shadow work. I try to face it as it is, i am just too tense and paranoid on human interaction. So even if they make a small joke on my cost I got very angry or I say anything and deep down it breakes my heart. Any advice how to deal with people while my shadow work is so present?

I can relate to this (I’m also the youngest child). I’m actually in the process of getting family therapy started. Perhaps you can try that with your family? Good luck trying to get them to agree, though 

[Ulax]

5 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

This was gold. That‘s exactly what‘s happening. I loose my grounding when I meet with others. I am also pretty empathic,  so I would hide my self in order to make the other feel good. I didn‘t get the special meditation instructions, can u share me more of it?

@bensenbiz https://www.reddit.com/r/nondirective/

I'd recommend trying out some of the meditations listed in the table on this subreddit. (just scroll down the linked page a bit and you'll find the table on the right side of the page)

[Yimpa]

@Ulax Any tips on how to meditate while dealing with pain? I’ve been exploring feeling into the pain rather than suppressing it, but it’s very challenging.

[bensenbiz]

5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I can relate to this (I’m also the youngest child). I’m actually in the process of getting family therapy started. Perhaps you can try that with your family? Good luck trying to get them to agree, though 

I did a lot, not with my actual family, someone else pretended to be „the“ famiily member. My own family is so far away from doin therapy it would be impossible to do it with them. If I talk about them just a bit about this kind of topic they will ignore me and just play further their role. 
 

however the sessions I did were extremely powerful, so it is a good choice!

[bensenbiz]

5 minutes ago, Ulax said:

I'd recommend trying out some of the meditations listed in the table on this subreddit. (just scroll down the linked page a bit and you'll find the table on the right side of the page)

Can‘t find the one the YT video was about: strengthening the ego meditation. Any idea where to find that?

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, bensenbiz said:

I did a lot, not with my actual family, someone else pretended to be „the“ famiily member. My own family is so far away from doin therapy it would be impossible to do it with them. If I talk about them just a bit about this kind of topic they will ignore me and just play further their role. 
 

however the sessions I did were extremely powerful, so it is a good choice!

Haha, yeah. The older generation can be challenging when it comes to new ideas. But in any case, nobody wants to willingly question their identity if they hold strongly to it!

[bensenbiz]

3 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Haha, yeah. The older generation can be challenging when it comes to new ideas. But in any case, nobody wants to willingly question their identity if they hold strongly to it!

I don‘t even wanna bother anymore. In the beginning I tried, now I realize it was another ego play to share with everyone all these healing techniques - nobody cares ? and honestly I have still so much work to do on my own. 

[Ulax]

7 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

Can‘t find the one the YT video was about: strengthening the ego meditation. Any idea where to find that?

@bensenbiz Hey mate, my understanding is that when Shinzen Young talks about strengthening the ego meditations he is talking about the effects of doing certain types of meditations. Essentially if you want to strengthen the ego you want to do meditations which are mostly centred around placing your awareness on inner sensory experiences, i.e. thought, rather than outer sensory experiences, i.e. sound, sight.

The recommendation I made to you before are meditations which allow for you to have more awareness of your inner sensory experiences. 

Here is an intro Shinzen young's meditation system too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StBTuX0tqU8&pp=ygUZbm90aW5nIG1lZGl0YXRpb24gc2hpbnplbg%3D%3D

[Yimpa]

Just now, bensenbiz said:

I don‘t even wanna bother anymore. In the beginning I tried, now I realize it was another ego play to share with everyone all these healing techniques - nobody cares ? and honestly I have still so much work to do on my own. 

It’s not that nobody cares, it’s you that doesn’t care.

Contemplate that one!

[bensenbiz]

3 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Essentially if you want to strengthen the ego you want to do meditations which are mostly centred around placing your awareness on inner sensory experiences, i.e. thought, rather than outer sensory experiences, i.e. sound, sight.

Right now, when I meditate I switch between listening to outter sounds, being aware of the sensations touching my body and sometimes focusing on my breath.

 

i guess focusing on my breath would be the inner sensory experience?

[bensenbiz]

5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

It’s not that nobody cares, it’s you that doesn’t care.

Contemplate that one!

Yeah not that far in my journey to see the one in everything, still lost in seperations.

 

that‘s why I feel suffering caused by „others“ and feel the need to protect myself or act in a certain way

maybe it‘s time for 5meo? Haha ?

Edited July 17, 2023 by bensenbiz