Dealing with insecurity due to partner having so many options?

[Felinez]

Hello guys

Do any of you have any tips for dealing with the fact that your partner has so many options? I mean not only are there so many other physically attractive people, but there are people who are extremely funny , extremely intelligent , Unique personalities (edgy,dorky etc in a cool way) , extremely kind and a combination of all of the above. Given the fact that there are so many options(especially with dating market becoming global due to social media) how do you feel secure in a relationship, knowing that at any time the person you love might bump into someone (maybe at work etc)whom they find a little more sexually attractive, whos alittle funnier,alittle more intelligent and decide they want to date them instead?

Edited July 15, 2023 by Felinez

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLsUnv50Hq4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjNAJprBv8

 

[Felinez]

@Raze thanks for the links , but i dont know if i agree with the content of the video

the guy was basically saying not to get into relationships with people who are there for your looks,personality/ the fact that you give them good feelings and you should only be in relationships with people who there for " you" . 

But what even are "you" if you are not the way you look and your personality/ability to give others good feelings? Brahman? Are they supposed to fall in love with brahman? If so by definition they fall in love with everything ,including every single other guy in the world (as they too are brahman) , ironically making the problem worse lol. Atleast a non enlightened girl will only be attracted to a few guys. An enlightened girl will be attracted to every single thing in the universe.

So

What differentiates "you" from someone else? If its not your "looks/ personality, why choose you over someone else?

Then the dude talked about how "even downsyndrome kids/fat guys deserve love"    

But similarly to how african children may deserve to be born without aids and with enough food to not starve, or orphans deserve to be born with loving parents , or how disabled homeless military vets deserve care and attention , that doesnt seem to be the way reality functions

[Felinez]

@Raze and the other guys advice doesnt seem to work either as hes polyamorous. Very few people are comfortable being in a polyamourous relationship. So at the get go this guy seems to be in a different category of males and therefore his advice doesnt really apply

[The Redeemer]

7 hours ago, Felinez said:

Hello guys

Do any of you have any tips for dealing with the fact that your partner has so many options? I mean not only are there so many other physically attractive people, but there are people who are extremely funny , extremely intelligent , Unique personalities (edgy,dorky etc in a cool way) , extremely kind and a combination of all of the above. Given the fact that there are so many options(especially with dating market becoming global due to social media) how do you feel secure in a relationship, knowing that at any time the person you love might bump into someone (maybe at work etc)whom they find a little more sexually attractive, whos alittle funnier,alittle more intelligent and decide they want to date them instead?

Only date people who have less options or are lower value to yourself.

Otherwise they have all the leverage.

Edited July 16, 2023 by The Redeemer

[Felinez]

@The Redeemer thanks for the reply❤ but even if they have less options , they still have other options. All it takes is one option to breakup the relationship i value so much. As long as there is even one option i dont feel like i can be fully comfortable/ safe in the relationship.  Seeing as everyone will always atleast potentially other options, i feel like this problem is unsolvable...

[NoSelfSelf]

@FelinezLooking for tips and your whole foundation is messed up it doesnt work like that, you cant look for a nice rooftop when house  can collaps with a single wind...

 

Edited July 16, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Sugarcoat]

14 hours ago, Felinez said:

Do any of you have any tips for dealing with the fact that your partner has so many options?

You don’t deal with it.  Simple

Edited July 16, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[The Redeemer]

7 hours ago, Felinez said:

@The Redeemer thanks for the reply❤ but even if they have less options , they still have other options. All it takes is one option to breakup the relationship i value so much. As long as there is even one option i dont feel like i can be fully comfortable/ safe in the relationship.  Seeing as everyone will always atleast potentially other options, i feel like this problem is unsolvable...

That is your own insecurity.

Learn to value yourself.

Edited July 16, 2023 by The Redeemer

[Salvijus]

There's no real answer to this.

You can’t turn any person into your lounge chair. Life doesn't work like that.

Best you can do is trancend all attachments to relationships and people. That way reality won't hurt you that much. And you'll be able to enjoy the presence of each person much more in your life, and wish them well when they leave.

Edited July 16, 2023 by Salvijus