Should I drop truth bombs within the NA meeting ?

[StarStruck]

NA = narcotics anonymous

It is a group formed to help ex addicts and addicts. Last week I attended one and my jaw just dropped. It was so cultish that it was hard not to judge. It still helped me though. If I look past the weird shenanigans they go it is really helpful to have a support group. 

Now I’m already clean from addictions for more than a half year so I don’t really need help. For me it is more to help others and to cement my new identity as a no addict and here comes the problem: if you want to share something in the group you have to say you name (my name is X and I’m an addict) and I’m against this because I don’t resonate with being an addict anymore. To me it feels like a past life. I told this to NA meeting instructor and he didn’t take it in kind. 

To be honest most people at these NA groups are broken people. Some fall back every couple of weeks. Others are clean for years but you can clearly see they are forcing themselves to stay clean. They haven’t let go of their identity of being an addict and accepted a new identity. 

I’m not captain save a hoe so I will not actively crusade for my view but I’m in conflict about staying true to myself. I don’t want to introduce myself as “Hi I’m x and I’m addict” although they forced me to do so and secondly NA doesn’t understand true healing so should I go there and drop truth bombs and that they are full of shit? Or should I just go there for myself, keep the peace and just get mine which is getting emotional support and people who are willing to listen to my story?

To be honest I do have this snubbed attitude about knowing everything better and most of the time I do because my progress and results are speaking for themselves but at the same time I don’t want to be a crusader for the truth. It is usually not taken for kindness and people are just too dumb most of the time to get my points. Even talking about letting go of old identity and taking new identity is something very hard to grasp for the average Joe. 

Edited July 15, 2023 by StarStruck

[ZzzleepingBear]

If you felt that a certain group or organization have helped you in the past. Then maybe it's not such a great idea to tell them that they do something wrong just because you have recovered from something they helped you with in the first place.

If you dont understand or resonate with what they do, then a good first stepp is to ask questions instead of assuming that you know whats best for them before you know why they do what they do.

[Ulax]

@StarStruck To me, it appears the mode of introduction is a core boundary of taking part in the group. So, I think refusing to use that mode of introduction, whilst still trying to take part would be wrong of you.

I think you could benefit from taking more ownership over your opinions. For example, stating 'I think X is the case' or 'I disagree with Y', rather than 'X is the case' or 'Y is wrong'.

And, I think it would be plainly inflammatory to tell them they are full of shit or something akin. I don't see anything wrong with voicing that you disagree with the way the treatment is structured and that you disagree with some of their core beliefs around healing from addictions. I'd just do so in a civil, non-inflammatory manner.

[StarStruck]

@Ulax I wouldn’t say they are full of shit obviously but I guess you are right. I need to learn to play social games. 
@ZzzleepingBear NA didn’t help me with anything. I helped myself. If I was at the mercy of NA I would be like one of them, forcing myself to stay clean. Those NA guys didn’t look healthy and happy. 

[ZzzleepingBear]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

@Ulax I wouldn’t say they are full of shit obviously but I guess you are right. I need to learn to play social games. 
@ZzzleepingBear NA didn’t help me with anything. I helped myself. If I was at the mercy of NA I would be like one of them, forcing myself to stay clean. Those NA guys didn’t look healthy and happy. 

From what you say, it seems like you are better of without them. It must be a though job, so maybe it's hard to remain cheerful working there. 

[Rishabh R]

A similar situation occured to me in college , my group became friends with a senior who was toxic , negative and used to demotivate others. He used to insult me , abuse me and was a hypocrite. I was really annoyed by him and he along with other friends of mine used to insult me for watching Actualized.org (even now my friends troll me ). He didn't have any friends of his batch (which is a lesson to me here that those who hurt others are themselves living a hurt life ). One day he came to know that we used to talk about him in our room in his absence -about his toxicity. Then he left the group of ours- first he did this by leaving the WhatsApp group of our group . He then called me in his room along with one friend of mine . He said - what's yours problem (by keeping his hands on my shoulder in attempt to choke me but as soon as he did it I gave him a punch on the back . Then a physical fight broke down between me and him in which his shirt was torn . As all this was happening my friend was watching it . He then went to other seniors and he made me wrote an apology letter. After that day some supportive friends of mine  talked to other seniors who gave me support). The lesson that I learned here was that truth cannot be hidden for long.  And life has it's own way of separating toxic people by making changes. Best luck.

[Leo Gura]

You a dealing with fragile people who have a low capacity for truth. So no, you should not go dropping truthbombs there.

Truth is only for those who demonstrate that they care about it and are mature enough to handle it.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[integral]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

if you want to share something in the group you have to say you name (my name is X and I’m an addict) and I’m against this because I don’t resonate with being an addict anymore. To me it feels like a past life. I told this to NA meeting instructor and he didn’t take it in kind. 

Wow your 100% on point with this, identifying as NOT an addict is vital for intrinsic long lasting change.

There is "Im not an addict, just on more hit" self-deception.

Then theres, "Im not an addict" Self-identity.

If you ask a non-smoker if they want a smoke there is no possible temptation in there mind to smoke, "I am not a smoker", "im to intelligent for that", "i value my health" Ego identity boost that is immune to drug addiction. 

[StarStruck]

@integral I know enough about psychology to know that but after this thread I think I’m just going to play along with their stupidity. I’m learning so much by psycho analyzing those NA creeps. And to earn their trust I have to play their social games and adapt their social patterns in my persona. It is so sad and creepy how rigid these people are about their understanding of addictions but I don’t even blame them. It is just the sad state of mental health care. Even most professionals are clueless and they are falling in the same pitfalls that I mentioned.

 

Edited July 16, 2023 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I’m learning so much by psycho analyzing those NA creeps. And to earn their trust I have to play their social games and adapt their social patterns in my persona.

This just sounds so wrong.

If you don't respect them so much then why are you there at all?

It's you who's coming off like a creeper here. Those folks are just trying to help themselves and you are lurking in the shadows like a vampire.

Edited July 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

@Leo Gura I shouldn’t have used the word creeps. I met some lovely people there too but there are some weirdos there who tried to forced me to adapt their views. They were good natured though but totally misguided.  

[Epikur]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

@Leo Gura I shouldn’t have used the word creeps. I met some lovely people there too but there are some weirdos there who tried to forced me to adapt their views. They were good natured though but totally misguided.  

For ego validation you can use forums. You can use your vodoo there. Being weird with real people is not cool.

[mmKay]

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You a dealing with fragile people who have a low capacity for truth. So no, you should not go dropping truthbombs there.

Truth is only for those who demonstrate that they care about it and are mature enough to handle it.

"Capacity for truth" is such a good concept.

[Javfly33]

@StarStruck This is very good that you have realized this. Indeed, bring an addict is an identity. As long people don't want to grow past this, they will be stuck in that cycle, wether they are clean for X time or not.

 

[StarStruck]

14 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@StarStruck This is very good that you have realized this. Indeed, bring an addict is an identity. As long people don't want to grow past this, they will be stuck in that cycle, wether they are clean for X time or not.

 

Staying clean while still actively keeping the identity of an addict is similar to keeping your car stationary while thrusting your gas pedal to the fullest. And that is exactly how these NA people look like.

Some people have used this unhealthy way to stay clean for years, and you can see how it breaks their soul. They think they accomplished something big while the only thing they achieved is wear themselves down like a worn down car. It is a sad state of affairs.

The saddest part of it all is that they take pride that they worn themselves down. It is the blind leading the blind.

Edited July 17, 2023 by StarStruck