how to feel about sucking at conversation?

[Chives99]

Should I form an opinion at all???? did i really suck at the convo? maybe me getting stuck in my head and forming an opinion is what knocks me off my centre ???? maybe i should just talk without any expectation of how its going to go down? maybe we just weren't compatible? what i said wasn't inappropiate as they werent angry or disgusted but it didnt entertain them as they walked away, but again maybe we just weren't compatible? ruminated just puts me in my head even more??? nuerotypicals dont really need answers so much they arent big thinkers. IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO KNOW??????????????? GOD MY AUTISTIC BRAIN JUST NEEDS TO KNOW EVERYTHING, can i really just let go of knowing this and just talk and not control anything, i know how to not be inappropriate, but even some times NT's are inappropiatte so why am i even concerned about that?

[Butters]

I'm autistic and ive been in this place so many times, overthinking social situations and beating myself up. I can guarantee you that the demons are 99% in your head and in reality she's forgotten about it entirely and it wasn't that weird. 

At the same time it's good that you're thinking this because it'll push you to grow yourself and learn from social situations. I often overthink what's ethical, I don't think it's a bad thing. 

Besides dude once you get good at this you'll be a fucking monster like the best of both worlds. Autism has serious advantages. 

[Chives99]

@Butters i know autism is  good for self reflection and its bad to beat yourself up, maybe just do some self relflection after the social event as pointers and let intuition guide the way.

[Butters]

I think just do approaches until it doesn't matter anymore 

[Sugarcoat]

Maybe you just need a break from it all and go spend some time in solitude 

[Leo Gura]

@Chives99 You should not worry about any individual conversation. But you should worry if your conversation skills in general are poor and turn people off.

Basically you need to place your focus on improving your conversation skills and forget the rest. You don't worry just for sake of worrying. You invest your mental energy analyzing how to improve your conversation skills a bit more with each interaction. You analyze for points of improvement. And there's always room for improvement. Enjoy the master process. Don't make it about the girls.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

Thing with autistic people is they try to use logic. Logic and worry is a killer for vibing. You need to find your own vibe and “surf on it” not worry what you say. Logic comes from the head, vibe comes from the body. You need to loosen up your body and stop being so stuck up all the time. 

[Schizophonia]

Asperger syndrome doesn't exist, it's an energy failure in certain parts of the brain, probably due to brain inflammation, snort some cocaine or bath salts and watch your "neurodivergence" disappear in literally minutes.

It's not a question of being too logical or I don't know what.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Butters]

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Asperger syndrome doesn't exist, it's an energy failure in certain parts of the brain, probably due to brain inflammation, snort some cocaine or bath salts and watch your "neurodivergence" disappear in literally minutes.

It's not a question of being too logical or I don't know what.

??? Are you serious bro? I've done cocaine and it just made me waaaay fucking worse cause now I didn't have the cognition to watch for social cueues. This advice is ridiculous. 

Yes you can improve your neuro plasticity a lot more than you think, I used to tick many more aspie boxes and some of it just went away with time and maturity.

But cocaine? I've done maybe 40 times and whatever flow state I was in that week will be amplified. IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP MAKE YOU SOCIAL. 

[Schizophonia]

12 minutes ago, Butters said:

??? Are you serious bro? I've done cocaine and it just made me waaaay fucking worse cause now I didn't have the cognition to watch for social cueues. This advice is ridiculous. 

Yes you can improve your neuro plasticity a lot more than you think, I used to tick many more aspie boxes and some of it just went away with time and maturity.

But cocaine? I've done maybe 40 times and whatever flow state I was in that week will be amplified. IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP MAKE YOU SOCIAL. 

Your truth =/= the truth for most people.
I have aspie friends whose cocaine makes their ass fuck sociable, and that's the result of cocaine in general, neurodivergent or not.

Your brain can react in a strange way to a substance, depending on a variability of receptor concentration (AMPA, NMDA, Dopamine, Nor/adrenaline, Acetylcholine, histamine...) in x regions of the brain that can be agonized or antagonized by cocaine .

Edited July 15, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Butters]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I have aspie friends whose cocaine makes their ass fuck sociable, and that's the result of cocaine in general, neurodivergent or not.

Yes it makes you talk to people, so what? That has nothing to do with becoming social as an aspie. 

I'm the last guy to judge people for their drug use but cocaine as self help advice is really dumb. 

[Chives99]

@Schizophonia @Butters People on cocaine are fucking annoying   JESUS

[Butters]

4 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Schizophonia @Butters People on cocaine are fucking annoying   JESUS

Now imagine someone with no natural social calibration on cocaine talking to you "because this cured his autism bro" 

[Schizophonia]

27 minutes ago, Butters said:

Yes it makes you talk to people, so what? That has nothing to do with becoming social as an aspie. 

Talking to people is by definition sociable behavior.

Quote

I'm the last guy to judge people for their drug use but cocaine as self help advice is really dumb. 

I didn't say taking cocaine, I said dopaminergic signaling reverses Asperger's syndromes.
Incidentally, I don't see where the problem is with taking stimulants here and there.
People here are busting their brains and endocrines with magic mushrooms and nobody bothers them because it's "spirituaalllllle"

Edited July 15, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Chives99]

@Butters I think it depends on your personality, if you have a good heart and are highly empathic , but shy and anxious, that cocaine will override your anxiety and self doubt 

[Schizophonia]

7 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Butters I think it depends on your personality, if you have a good heart and are highly empathic , but shy and anxious, that cocaine will override your anxiety and self doubt 

Ketamine is even better, because the NMDA antagonism gives the dopamine rush, energy, a much more chill dimension.

Cocaine like a big dose of coffee is a powerful glutamate releaser, so you can get violent or just be too combative.
Coffee turns me into a soldier; ready to contradict everyone on any subject.

 

The best thing is obviously to find a longer-term solution (through food, supplements, etc.)

Edited July 15, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Chives99]

@Schizophonia if you have an insecure personality it will make you rage

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Schizophonia if you have an insecure personality it will make you rage

I know, I'm naturally like on cocaine  

*grab a benzo

[Chives99]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I know, I'm naturally like on cocaine  

*grab a benzo

u get aggressive? maybe u should work on your self esteem , just laugh at someone trying to get under your skin

[Butters]

54 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Talking to people is by definition sociable behavior.

So get a job in customer service it'll cure autism. The goal is to learn to socialize, read social cueues and respect your own and others boundaries while enjoying your time. 

It's like you wanna learn to bow hunt and somebody's like "why not use an AK-47?" or hey just burn the entire forest down. 

54 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Incidentally, I don't see where the problem is with taking stimulants here and there.

I do, because you don't control stimulants, stimulants control you. 

It should be obvious I'm speaking from experience, not closed mindedness. Your ego wants to use stimulants, of course, mine does too, that's not open minded that's self serving.