Sexual desparation

[asesuaugisltu]

I am 19 years old. Every friday and overall 2-3 months for now I have this neediness with women. Not only that, but neediness to have fun and party. I feel it the most at Fridays and I can’t seem to grasp why I am feeling that desparation. I became so in need that I installed Tinder and every other dating app out there. Is it lack of purpose? Why do I have this enormous need for stimulation? 

[r0ckyreed]

Because you don’t have an effective meditation practice??

Your mind is buying into the story that you are needing something from women that you cannot fulfill yourself.

Women cannot give you the orgasm of Awakening.

Edited July 14, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[something_else]

41 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

Because you don’t have an effective meditation practice??

Your mind is buying into the story that you are needing something from women that you cannot fulfill yourself.

Women cannot give you the orgasm of Awakening.

This is like telling someone to meditate away hunger or thirst.

1 hour ago, asesuaugisltu said:

I am 19 years old. Every friday and overall 2-3 months for now I have this neediness with women. Not only that, but neediness to have fun and party. I feel it the most at Fridays and I can’t seem to grasp why I am feeling that desparation. I became so in need that I installed Tinder and every other dating app out there. Is it lack of purpose? Why do I have this enormous need for stimulation? 

Go out, party and talk to women then, what's stopping you?

[asesuaugisltu]

7 minutes ago, something_else said:

This is like telling someone to meditate away hunger or thirst.

Go out, party and talk to women then, what's stopping you?

Friend situation is not ideal. I am quite scared to go alone, don’t want to seem weird

[something_else]

8 minutes ago, asesuaugisltu said:

Friend situation is not ideal. I am quite scared to go alone, don’t want to seem weird

Do you live in a big city with decent nightlife? If you do, you can absolutely go out solo and have a great time.

You might even make some friends who you can go out with next time.

[Sugarcoat]

sometimes there is just something in us that wants to engage. And instead of pondering what it’s about why bla bla just follow it’s stream and see where it takes you as it probably will still be there no matter what conclusions you come to about it 

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

This is like telling someone to meditate away hunger or thirst.

What is the alternative? Acting on every impulse? Not all cravings need to be acted on but that’s besides the point.

You need to have a good meditation practice so that you don’t let yourself be ruled by your cravings. The key is to be mindfully engaged in the moment. Notice your neediness and learn to let go of attachments. It’s paradoxical because the men who are most needy will remain with their needs unmet and the men who are most detached will have the most sex. Women sense that right off. You gotta meditate and learn to let go of cravings and not be run by them. Then, go out to the bars and clubs and have mindful conversations and mindful sex. 

Your not going to win this game of women filling up your cup. You gotta fill it up yourself with personal growth and then you can overflow it with women.

“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.”

Trust me, meditation is your food. You have to start with the foundation of building mindset. It’s not wise to put the cart before the horse. After you have sex with 100 women, it still will not satisfy you. What you need is self-love, self-confidence, and taking action in approaching women and building attraction. You need to focus on building yourself into the person you would want to fuck yourself. ?

Those are my thoughts. Do what you wish with them.

Edited July 15, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[r0ckyreed]

Also, I think a potential reason for your neediness on Fridays is because it sounds like you don’t have plans, goals, and things to look forward to on the weekend. Make plans. I’ve recently been doing kickboxing and yoga classes at my gym. You just need to get out more and be mindful of your irrational thoughts and cravings.

By the way, get off all those dating apps. I just did that and it felt so freeing afterwards. Dating apps are a trap. It really screws with your mind and standards.

Edited July 15, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[something_else]

6 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

Trust me, meditation is your food. You have to start with the foundation of building mindset. It’s not wise to put the cart before the horse. After you have sex with 100 women, it still will not satisfy you. What you need is self-love, self-confidence, and taking action in approaching women and building attraction. You need to focus on building yourself into the person you would want to fuck yourself.

I get your point. This is a more balanced take than your first post which was suggesting that mediation alone is the cure for loneliness.

OP is feeling lonely/isolated and as a result is feeling the urge to be sociable, this is a healthy human impulse and responding to it with meditating the urge away is almost akin to repression.

[max duewel]

Thats totally normal. Do yourself a favour go out there and meet girls

[Sugarcoat]

4 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Not all cravings need to be acted on

Is it working for you ? ?

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, asesuaugisltu said:

I can’t seem to grasp why I am feeling that desparation.

You're a horned out teenager full of hormones. What is there not to grasp here?

[r0ckyreed]

13 hours ago, something_else said:

I get your point. This is a more balanced take than your first post which was suggesting that mediation alone is the cure for loneliness.

OP is feeling lonely/isolated and as a result is feeling the urge to be sociable, this is a healthy human impulse and responding to it with meditating the urge away is almost akin to repression.

Right. True meditation is not repression but expression and self-exploration. By meditation I don’t mean sitting on your ass all day. I mean being meditative and mindful while you still do what you need to do. The OP and all of us need to build our lives and go towards our best self. All I am saying is OP needs to incorporate more mindfulness and self-reflection practices while in the midst of talking to women. It sounds like OP struggles incorporating meditation practice into his daily life, especially in conversing with women.But I could be wrong.

Meditation is a pointless practice if you can’t continue to do it off the cushion. The goal is to maintain that mindful awareness in all areas of life to the best of your ability.

Edited July 15, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[r0ckyreed]

9 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Is it working for you ? ?

Yes! ?

Self-discipline is everything. You have to focus on going after your highest authentic desires. The desire to have sex just for sex sake is not my highest desire. I would bet it’s not OP’s either. I don’t deny that I have cravings too. I just don’t let them run my life because I know I have a bigger treasure to find and I am not looking into fools gold. One of my highest desires is to find and fall in love with the woman of my dreams. Sex for just sex itself is fools gold.

Edited July 15, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzeXRDUk1ds

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oFVOJf0TzY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hpjM_NNFQw

 

[Chives99]

Just take a chill pill man, talk to women and see who you click with, it will take a lot of searching, but im sure you'll find someone you have similar interests with. Remember they want to get to know you just as much as you want to get know them, women arent as desperate for sex which is why they aren't as needy, i mean they can get it when ever they want, if they lower their standards . but its the whole sex component tht makes men desperate 

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Yes! ?

Self-discipline is everything. You have to focus on going after your highest authentic desires. The desire to have sex just for sex sake is not my highest desire. I would bet it’s not OP’s either. I don’t deny that I have cravings too. I just don’t let them run my life because I know I have a bigger treasure to find and I am not looking into fools gold. One of my highest desires is to find and fall in love with the woman of my dreams. Sex for just sex itself is fools gold.

I see I see

i feel op is in a different situation tho also considering his age but different perspectives can have something to them for sure 

[r0ckyreed]

8 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I see I see

i feel op is in a different situation tho also considering his age but different perspectives can have something to them for sure 

I’m a 26 year old virgin. I have my sexual cravings. But I want to save it and give it all to a woman who is worth it - like my dream partner. I just feel like having sex with someone who is below my standards does me more harm. OP should consider socializing with women, going on dates, and use masturbation if needs aren’t being met. I think that’s kind of the whole point of masturbation is to provide ourselves with those sexual needs. Some people who have sex sometimes don’t even get all their sexual needs met when they could through masturbation. But masturbation is stigmatized so people start to stigmatize themselves for things they can’t control. I recommend focusing on socializing and building love and relationships. The sex is just the tip of the pyramid not the foundation.

Edited July 16, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[Sugarcoat]

8 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

I’m a 26 year old virgin. I have my sexual cravings. But I want to save it and give it all to a woman who is worth it - like my dream partner. I just feel like having sex with someone who is below my standards does me more harm. OP should consider socializing with women, going on dates, and use masturbation if needs aren’t being met. I think that’s kind of the whole point of masturbation is to provide ourselves with those sexual needs. Some people who have sex sometimes don’t even get all their sexual needs met when they could through masturbation. But masturbation is stigmatized so people start to stigmatize themselves for things they can’t control. I recommend focusing on socializing and building love and relationships. The sex is just the tip of the pyramid not the foundation.

Interesting . That’s unique indeed  : )

When you say “ having sex with someone below your standard” what do you mean? I mean what is the reason for having sex with someone? You must be attracted to them right? So if you’re attracted to someone then they aren’t “below your standard” , because then your “standard” is just some idea you have and isn’t actually what you actually are attracted to. Or you mean having sex with someone simply because of being horny and not even attracted to them?

[Javfly33]

On 15/07/2023 at 0:46 AM, asesuaugisltu said:

Friend situation is not ideal. I am quite scared to go alone, don’t want to seem weird

Look for meet-ups in your city. Meetup.com is a great place and ive gone out a lot and meet lots of people there. But don't stay at home pitying your situation. Do actions and choices every day towards you feeling better and your goal, that desperation is your inner intelligence saying to you there is a desire that is NOT fulfilled. Do not avoid it.