Carrer - Advice For Working In The Software Engineering Field

[ValiantSalvatore]

So I basically will start as a work student in one of the tech top companies in the country in some scale, it overall has a pretty good rating on glassdoor and the community seems quiet conscious in contrast to the stark materalistic, scientific paradigm that can exist in the tech field.
I'll be working on internal projects and when doing projects for customers I will receive a higher hour wage. Although this is mostly to cover living costs and to gain more expierence and ultimately move to the U.S, as my situation is very unique, and I have a dual citizenship, where others would possibly "kill for" as German/American. (I am exaggerating). The company offers mindfulness programs, and other benefits, yet I am mostly working remotely. They overall strike me Yellow/Blue, so it's a lot of autonomy and familiarity, yet it's extremely conscious as a company, I'd say. Obviously salary is not to high, yet I am looking mainly for experience. 

I also have the opportunity to dive into new fields, still I am a bit worried, due to the strong meritocracy nature (if normal it's okay), how far I can go? I still struggle with the value of mastery and leadership, and the level of isolation due to not beign able to fully live out my more extroverted nature, due to injury. I keep re-thinking, yet this is one of the biggest moves I have done, and I have some experience in multiple technologies now, yet they all keep evolving. So I never know, and I am disinterested in working in a company where anyone likes Andrew Tate and toxic masculinity, which is practically possible where I am working at which is great. Due to reverse bias I'd just say... for now. My values are changing also so often, I certainly have to choose for a different way to review and implement at best at a 2-3 year segment. Instead of 6  months, as I contemplated the last 2-3 months.

What is good career advice for working in software engineering? My life purpose involves A.I and I have the opportunity to do this in university, as well as at the company as an upskilling opportunity. I do have experience mostly with Java, Android Studio & Python so far and a bunch of other technologies to much to write down. When I speak to others, they don't seem to have the right mindset, about either business and becoming masterful at programming for instance, and I struggle with this also, I don't enjoy so much sitting on leetcode and solving problems. I orignally dreamed of beign able to work consciously as even a meditation instructor in a SE company and work from the orange end upwards, as anything lower than that does not work accordingt to Wilber. 

I get very angry at solving problems due to subtle trauma that I am uprooting weekly and mastery, as I had a pretty bombass skill training, yet 0 emotional support and other stuff I notice. 
Obviously, the more interesting my project and the better my skill, the better the career/lp, yet I'd be interested in your stories and what you eventually did to kick-start your career and make more than the "lower-tier" of 6 figures? I originally had a pretty high goal of earning at least 300k per year, when I read the success books from Leo's booklist. Currently I am on a path of 150k+, yet I will venture into A.I 100% to some level. (Note this is for America not EU)

I don't get to much joy out of solving problems intellectually, I mostly experience myself more as a creative, so it's a different type of pain even if my problem solving and analytical skills are quiet good, they are not excellent, and it takes a lot of energy to maintain my lifestyle currently and I keep looking for ideas to reduce the tension and stress of it, especially health wise. For me it's mostly the curiosity, creation and feeling as if god-like energy that I enjoy about solving problems and creating products, that is what I enjoy the most. Anyhow, what is your story and advice? I struggle with skill development solo as it often feels like rigid stage blue and or just grinding for merit, also due to injury and not getting laid as much with a high sex drive, I could also work in business due to my more "powerful" type of character even though I am generally very balanced it's my biggest strenght and flaw in that sense. Even with the LP and reading (even before the LP about my strength from various books and assesments) I don't know what I am really good at. 

(Note: I am doing my masters in applied c.s, specializing in some field within A.I to some extend)
---

The guy hired me without any technical interview also and was yellow+ big intuitive coordinator/team lead.

Edited July 12, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

For me it's mostly the curiosity, creation and feeling as if god-like energy that I enjoy about solving problems and creating products, that is what I enjoy the most.

My top advice to you is to follow this passion very deeply and seriously, and see where it leads you.

Also I suggest that you may be too impatient. For someone your age you're making an extreme good salary so you should not be too eager to jump around for more. Work on solidifying your present gains before you go biting off more. If you just got a new job you should not be thinking about your next job so early. Focus on doing your current job well and see how it feels.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Loving Radiance]

@ValiantSalvatore What is in AI for you? How is it connected to your values & strengths?

[ValiantSalvatore]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

My top advice to you is to follow this passion very deeply and seriously, and see where it leads you.

Also I suggest that you may be too impatient. For someone your age you're making an extreme good salary so you should not be too eager to jump around for more. Work on solidifying your present gains before you go biting off more. If you just got a new job you should not be thinking about your next job so early. Focus on doing your current job well and see how it feels.

The point is I wasted a lot of time, due to contradictionary experiences and I keep learning I am beign very patient from my pov, yet I naturally take risks unconsciously that mostly make this "impatience" to something worthwhile, although I agree and I worked on it for a couple of months, and stop activities that cause this kind of internal mindset to errupt. 

It's only a work students position, so I gain experience in a field and can even work on new projects the more I network, and my business networking is pretty good, even for just contacts etc. As I am very likeable by character and by looks. The point is it's about vision and self-motivation, and I struggle with the value of mastery and consistently doing PD solo, without talking about it with a friend who is serious and due to injury I can't partake in a lot of activities that benefitted my having joy in my work. Like playing soccer, basketball and any ballsports, just hitting the gym there are so many mistakes, that I can't even pillot this, especially as German gym culture is not as strong as American ones, so you don't find a lot of people who self-experiment, and went through a bit of extra struggle and can give tipps. It's very low effort thinking and I can't do it as well with my injury it's better to continously get feedback and talk, and this is extremely exhausting. I also talked to a career advisior here, yet he lacks direct insight within the industry. 

I might visit the GamesCom (huge video game convention) to speak to developers within that industry then I covered a huge section of what's possible. The point is I don't find the right kind of balance and go to deep for no "direct purpose" it's more nuanced as a lot of outside activites that I don't have direct control like, it's ridiculous how effective a small change is such as not drinking coffee, and having a cold shower for recovery. The former I can do the latter currently not. I just notice so many barries that I become subtely dejected with the people who just do it for merit and have their merit hype crew and just would exploit like pirates, and I bet you can imagine the other scenario of beign looked at as the good guy. Which just makes you a target for XXX projections and loads up to much work, for people who are beign abusive and toxic. 
I also wasted a lot of time, due to have many passions and beign thrown of balance to often and the general nature of gaslighting Germans if they are unconscious merit seekers, and just pragmatic fools with no love. I often know that I am not doing enough and I struggle with recovery and energy, due to just not beign able to test more solutions, yet I can ask for cold water lol, for recovery of muscles and the doctors are also not very helpful and it dejects me for dating also, as girls have a lot of expectations and I develop an extrem hatred for the opposite gender if they crave this provider, as it's only a role and not my humanity/character and even personality. I just was physically playful a lot what I can't enjoy as much and I keep having fears, as it's serious and I don't want to be 50 and I can't walk properly anymore the point is nobody can give me proper advice and I have to listen to myself, it's an extreme amount of responsibility that just drives me at times crazy and how I enjoy life was seriously restricted. Playfulness and spontaneity was seriously restricted so it affects my LP and skill development a lot, as I just can't go outside do a 30 min hit exercise and come back, no I have to schedule it and enjoy it, and I burned out a couple of times. I bet not offically, yet I notice I don't generally enjoy life as much anymore, and I comeback to toxic video games, and without meditation I practically would be done for, as this is the only way to re-programm myself effectively without psyches. 

I also turned 29, so it's not the best of salaries and I could have made a lot more money, if I had more emotionaly stabillity within my life, yet I can only learn and grow so much. The salary is for me not enough, due to the socialist nature of this country, I don't feel I would make enough to sort of accept the merit and point drive cravings of stage orange exellence. Although there are benefits of this also, I will move to the U.S the projections are at times to much and I don't enjoy dating life in Germany, and German girls are extremely materalistic, and I don't really function within the social sphere as well to enjoy the deterministic type of small talk and the undercurrent of racism I feel in my stomach.
For me I don't quiet comprehend what serious and passion can lead to the level of consistency I crave for, as I don't have the tools to re-ignite passion as effectively as before, and I keep subtely self-sabotaging by writting for example this post, and just having also different opinions at times, where I don't know if it's for my benefit and or not. I also meet a lot of extremely succesful people, and for me the biggest passion is tasting consciouness in every aspect of my life, and the fulness of it and beauty, without it it would be to boring and dry, and to enjoy this takes serious patience. 

Passion dwindles for me very often, so I connect to consciouness mostly. I had so many of them, it's difficult to describe all of this, as I know what would work for me, yet I simply can't do it with a better enviroment, at times it's really conscious girls who can ignite my heart, as I am deeply romantic by nature, yet the materalistic and merit type stage orange culture sort of makes this to mechanical and I don't experience love via gifts, mostly quality time & touch. 
I will pursure it deeply and connect to it as well as I can, the point is there are so many ends, I don't know what will happen and when I listen to my intuition I feel ike a little more rationality would not be to bad, due to injury as I can't afford to many mistakes. Also due to the nature of stage orange beign cold-hearted and unperceptive it makes it also tricky to follow stage orange passion and talking to Green is exhausting af, as they just don't comprehend and just allow 99.9% of the stuff. 
Anyway this was pretty long, I don't know if I can get to any conclusions out of this thinking for hours is very exhausting and I often integrate changes anyway, due to having done a lot of pd at times it just does not work out. One thing that bothers me is how others can enjoy it so much, I often automatically go away from it, I don't enjoy solving problems as it so many orange/blue types who do it, the enviroment is so toxic, I would like to do smth. else. Although I hope the reality will show me a different playing field than university. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

17 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

What is in AI for you? How is it connected to your values & strengths?

My values massively shifted, so I don't know yet and I have to mull this over when I find a better time, I threw away my old vision board as I achived approx 80% of it the things missing are a girlfriend and travel mostly, and that shifted also to some extend. Strengths wise it's mostly love of learning and curiosity, especially seeing the beauty of patterns, and I am integrating this just now as my main passion fundamentally beauty, as a lot of joy has been taken from me from various ends, and I have to work from various ends, otherwise I fundamentally don't know if I could boil it down to one simple thing, I would still have to name multiple. I can also just give one which is mostly curiosity of the world and how it will develop based on A.I this is most likely the biggest connector, I stopped also valuing connection, as to many have been severed. 

Currently I don't know it's to many connections I'd have to draw, yet I notice an internal pull as this was my passion when I was 16, yet I did not know it existed, as I experienced life very heartless and I often found more love in inanimate things than in animated things. (Or living & unliving) Due to the heavy nature of survival. For me it's mostly love and nature that connects to it, odd isn't it? I'd love to see an 80/20 principle of nature beign connected with A.I and just the topic of creating something, that could generate beauty. I could find millions of things, and then the next day and or week or month it changed. 
I also have my foot in two doors, which is not to good, yet it's the only possible way of doing this currently, and I still have to look for a different sector, due to me not liking some parts about A.I and it's a huge field and I still have 0 clue, as a lot of companies did not even integrate it and are just starting to digitalize stuff. 
Ultimately, I would wish for a more conscious enviroment for more inspirational integration. I also keep meeting interesting people online and offline who use A.I for directly impacting stuff, yet it's not something I would yearn to be doing I am to business oriented, to be a repairman in that sense, and I don't know how to go about this. I enjoy creation, and deconstructing as well as holistic synthesis, I miss a lot of integration of soft sciences within A.I to be kept self-motivating etc. etc. It also get's dark, so I dunno. 
Often times at best I just meditate and forget and do small exercises and journal. To be to specific looses a lot of magic and joy out of the process of the unknown and I am just into this field for not even 1 year, so I don't know and I did not find a position in A.I, it's mostly my studies, yet the company has options for this. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

The point is I miss human contact, and I often have to sacrifice here due to goals etc. I wish I could enjoy a few things more, yet I crave variety and diversity a lot also at times, and the integration and working with beauty and simplification is one of the hardest things I ever experienced, so I dunno. I work mostly from a health standpoint on all of this, and I would seriously need a coach for effective cooking and buying healthy foods that I can cook fast, often times it's just that, that does matter. As I can marvel and enjoy the world otherwise mostly, due to consciouness beign a top value. 

Mostly it's consciouness and love that I connect with A.I etc. I'd love to have the right kind of distractions, yet I also turned so toxic due to the death of my grandma and I keep having new ideas to reconnect, yet I need some serious income to enjoy this and mostly experience, so I just sort of chillout low-key and see what can be done. So I can actually connect to my passion of coding and beauty of patterns etc. 

My sex drive is also high, and there are just to many things to test more solutions etc. I just wish I could focus more on skill development, yet it's a trauma type of experience from so many ends. The shamanic breathing sessions I am doing do help, yet it's still a lot of hatred I have for humanity and humans themselves let alone survival and how disgusting merit type thinking is and stage orange etc. A lot of things.... a lot....

Edited July 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I fundamentally will just use my intutition and continue to with the current path. The point about impatience is good, yet seriously struggle out of many reasons with a lot of points mentioned in Leo's blog post recently even developmentally, I just hope it will work out. I mostly work on energy and health, and the new success journal helps tremendously, thanks I will integrate this slowly, yet currently I have to see there are so many flaws I see it's not so cool. 
---

The point about solidifying present gains is great, the point is I noticed how much subtle developmental work I did with the wilber courses, and sticking to a few things, I am just integrating it now, I never noticed how much I cherish beauty as a value in all of life.... it's almost tragic....in a good sense! 

Edited July 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore