My first glimpse of awakening?

[manuel bon]

I am a 22yo Italian guy, and three years ago I moved alone to the Netherlands. I moved here to deepen my skills in the classical guitar so I started studying at the university, and in a year or less, I will have my bachelor's degree. Back then I started meditating, and I didn't know how my life would begin changing fast as it did. I accidentally found Leo's youtube channel, and from the beginning, I understood that he was talking about things that to me matter. When I was living in Italy I had "crazy" (according to people around me) thoughts about life and existence. But finally, I found someone who could teach and guide me. My path towards awakening and discovering Truth started seriously almost a year ago when my dad and brother had a terrible motorcycle accident. My brother had many surgeries, but now he is fine. My dad, though, has severe brain damage, and we are all trying to help him regain his life. I feel like this event happened also to make me understand that I need to get closer to God. so I can learn to live these difficult moments with more wisdom, and less anxiety, and eventually realize that everything that happens is just a form of Love. With this preface, I want to share with you an experience I had a couple of months ago when I was still in the Netherlands.

That day I didn't have classes or anything important, only a concert of classical music to attend in another city, so I decided to take a small dose of LSD (probably about 50ug) and go through the day. It was around noon when I took it, and around 7 pm I took the train to attend the concert. I was completely sober the whole day, I didn't feel any of the acid I took. I listened to the first part of the concert, and during the break, I decided to smoke some marijuana. It was a pure joint (not mixed with tobacco like Europeans use to do), and I did only two hits. But little I knew what was going to happen. Entering back in the theatre I understood that the LSD and the weed mixed and I have never felt so high.

Waiting for the break to end, I was standing there and looking around me and trying to understand what was happening to me. I checked my phone and tried to act normal, but then I saw my hands, and they looked more real than real. I don't even know how to explain it. When I sat in my seat, I could feel the soup of air we walk through; as if I could feel all the molecules. At that moment I thought I was in direct contact with Reality. Nothing changed in my visual field, but it was just the way I was feeling, connected to everything around me. I wanted to close my eyes and let go, thinking that I could be brought somewhere else, but I couldn't. Not only I am afraid to let go of my ego, but also I was in a freaking theatre surrounded by people.

After the concert ended I managed to get back home safely.

 

I had some time now to think about that experience, and I tried to understand what was that about. I believe it could be a really small glimpse of awakening, but at the same time, I don't know what awakening feels like, so I can't compare it or say it for sure.

What do you think happened?

 

Thank you for reading my story, I appreciate it.

I send you love!

[Breakingthewall]

It's a pleasure to read you, I'm sorry about your father, life can hit you at any moment.

what you're saying imo is an increase in consciousness caused by psychedelics. both lsd and marijuana do. I sometimes smoke exactly that, two puffs, and reality opens up. As you say, everything is exactly the same, but I am floating in infinity. silence, openness, flow. when you ask, is this awakening? I don't know, they are all awakenings to some extent. they are real experiences, outside of mental history. reality happening. If you like that, that is, exist without filters, you will continue on that path. for me it is wonderful, nothing is comparable

[manuel bon]

@Breakingthewall Yes you're right, it is a higher state of consciousness. Also, I guess I always try to overanalyze everything, and when it comes to psychedelics my ego feels threatened so I can't fully enjoy what is happening. But it is also true that the setting of that story was not the best haha

Edited July 13, 2023 by manuel bon

[integral]

@manuel bon 22 is to young to do drugs or psychedelics, your not emotionally ready yet, there is plenty in life to experience still and things you have to emotionally process, integrate and grow from. Ive seen many come here like you taking psychedelics in there 20s and they where simply to immature to handle alterations to there reality causing major long term depression.

When your ready youll know it, now your just a kid, there is alot of growing up to do before your ready. Get a gf, start a business, have a career, achieve, get your finances in check, learn gymnastics, go rock climbing, go live life to the fullest you can and have fun in your youth.

Psychedelics with completely unravel your life. Awakening does not guarantee a better quality of life or happiness, that foundation comes from inner growth and maturity. If you dont have that foundation you will unravel things into chaos.

Most people need 10 years of basic self-development + self-help + shadow/trauma healing before they should do spiritual work. 

---

For the love of god you better not be a virgin. Got to seriously fuck a girl until she squirts hard all over your face to do psychedelics, thats the MINIMUM requirement. ?

A virgin taking psychedelics is like learning how to fly before you learned how to crawl. 

Edited July 13, 2023 by integral

[Leo Gura]

Condolences about your dad.

Yes, you got a tiny experience of awakening. It can just go 1000x deeper. So keep deepening it. If you dare.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[cetus]

5 hours ago, manuel bon said:

Nothing changed in my visual field, but it was just the way I was feeling, connected to everything around me.

Reality doesn't change. What changes is how you experience reality. A shift in perception. You visited the quantum field of reality where all things meet as one.

Edited July 13, 2023 by cetus

[integral]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Condolences about your dad.

Yes, you got a tiny experience of awakening. It can just go 1000x deeper. So keep deepening it. If you dare.

You where ready at 22 for psychedelics? 

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, integral said:

You where ready at 22 for psychedelics? 

Hard to say. My life was focused on other things at that age.

If he's already doing them and getting results then he feels called to them. Obviously gotta be careful.

I'm assuming he's interested in spirituality and Awakening.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[manuel bon]

@integral As you say I am still young, in my life, I have encountered many things, but I still have so much more to experience. Watching @Leo Gura 's videos about SD, and deepening this topic I understood that I need to exhaust stage by stage to fully get all of them and then move to the next one, so I can eventually reach the turquoise, hopefully, one day. 

But my question is: how can I grow spiritually and pursue enlightenment and awakening, while still being able to focus on growing a business, getting a girlfriend, and doing all these things? Maybe I should wait some years and exhaust all these lower stages and when then one day come back to spirituality. The truth is though, that I feel like I can't live without spirituality. I feel like this event that happened with my dad is somehow a wake-up call from the Universe to pursue infinite Love.

[integral]

1 hour ago, manuel bon said:

But my question is: how can I grow spiritually and pursue enlightenment and awakening, while still being able to focus on growing a business, getting a girlfriend, and doing all these things? Maybe I should wait some years and exhaust all these lower stages and when then one day come back to spirituality. The truth is though, that I feel like I can't live without spirituality. I feel like this event that happened with my dad is somehow a wake-up call from the Universe to pursue infinite Love.

Spirituality is a way of being, there is endless exploration sober to do, question about the world and insights to acquire. Psychedelics will speed up this process of self-inquiry but im only warning that for many who come to this site they where not ready for the Truth and the common pattern is they all did Psychedelics to young <25. The younger you are the less likely it will benefit you to do psychedelics as your daily experiences are still new and interesting. A 5-20 year old is having a powerful trip sober, they dont need assistance. 

For many doing spirituality young means sacrificing finances, because it can kill all motivation to make money. Self-development is way more useful when your young then Absolute Truth seeking.

Random test:

1. Do you often find yourself blaming others for something that happened to you?
2. Are you taking Full responsibility for your life and experiences?
3. How strongly do you like and dislike things?
4. How long do your emotions stick and how efficient are you at processing your emotions? (Ex: Does something undesirable happen and you get stuck in a bad mood all day or are you able to let things go relatively easily?)
5. Do you have any history of mental illness?

[integral]

A foundation in maturity is the prerequisite. 

- Take responsibility, not blame others. A mature person voluntarily takes it on himself, not waiting for the suffering and pain to prompt him to take responsibility.

- Understand that you can act like a child, but consciously choose not to.

- Do what needs to be done on time instead of procrastinating, which requires discipline.

- Taking on emotionally difficult things, doing difficult things. A good life involves a lot of emotionally difficult tasks.

- Work ethic: Don't look for shortcuts, be willing to work at embodying and realizing your highest values.

- Understanding that this work develops your personality, builds character.

- A mature person understands that a good life does not come easily.

- It is worthy to face life's challenges rather than avoid them.

- Self-control. The ability not to get lost in one's emotions. Maintain consistency, fluidity, calmness, and intention.

- Emotional mastery.

- Nonreactivity, not triggering too easily from what other people say and do

- Patience.

- Refusing to use emotional manipulation techniques: blaming, scapegoating, gaslighting, denial, insulting, triggering, losing one's temper, projecting, rationalizing.

- A mature person does not demonize, distort, or substitute talking points.

- Does not exploit.

- Does not manipulate people.

- Does not deceive or lie.

- Looks the truth in the eye and realizes the importance of it throughout life.

- Being mature means being firmly rooted in reality rather than wishful thinking and getting lost in fantasy.

- A mature person's worldview and conception of reality is much truer and closer to life itself than an immature one.

- Maturity is associated with a deep understanding of situations, a desire to break through illusions.

- A mature person values honesty, truth/truth.

- Epistemological humility (critically examines one's ontological attitudes, beliefs and belief systems, preconceptions and assumptions, and is willing to change or modify them) and not-knowing. The mature person realizes that he knows far less than he thinks he does.

- The mature person is able to see beyond their own perspective and is able to see from the perspective of others. The immature person is too selfish for that and is lost in their preconceptions.

- Respects the sovereignty/independence of others. Understands that everyone is a sovereign individual: does not try to control others, does not impose his or her point of view, his or her agency, does not try to force everyone to live the way he or she lives. Understands and appreciates that everyone has their own unique needs, values, strengths, weaknesses, personality types, and can live their own unique way.

- The ability to compromise.

- The ability to be flexible and change one's opinion, point of view.

- A mature person values and cares about their health. Ready to make sacrifices and make efforts for it.

- Maturity implies a great deal of life experience.

- Maturity is the ability to anticipate problems and deal with them in advance before things get out of hand

- It is the ability to make long-term decisions based on sound principles.

- Maturity is long-term thinking.

- Admitting and taking responsibility for your mistakes.

- The ability to apologize.

- The ability to accept criticism. The mature person is grateful that someone pointed out an unpleasant truth to them; they understand that the truth is more important than temporary emotional difficulties. The immature person becomes irritated, frustrated, resentful, "kills the messenger," can't handle the truth, and gets lost in their bubble.

- Maturity is acting according to a clear understanding of values

- It is a principled pursuit of wholeness

- It is self-direction, the ability to lead oneself rather than conforming and simply following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing.

- To be non-ideological, open-minded, non-conformist.

- Independently make sense of things, based on primary principles.

- A mature person knows how to take care of themselves. An immature person needs mature people to take care of him or her.

- Maturity is the understanding that your words and actions serve as a role model for others. Immature behavior in the family, workplace, country, etc. disposes the rest of the group to do so.

- A mature person takes responsibility to be a good role model for others.

- Maturity is the ability to communicate consciously to resolve disputes and conflicts without the use of force.

- The ability to truly listen.

- The ability to let go and surrender, to accept things as they are.

- Maturity is wisdom.

- It is consciousness and intelligence. 

- It is selflessness.

Edited July 13, 2023 by integral

[manuel bon]

@integral Thank you for sharing your notes on this important video. I've seen it already two times and I have to say that Leo with this and many other ones is really teaching me how to navigate through my life.

About this:

58 minutes ago, integral said:

For many doing spirituality young means sacrificing finances, because it can kill all motivation to make money. Self-development is way more useful when your young then Absolute Truth seeking.

You are totally right, I am kinda feeling this way: I am not interested in making money, or at least with all the jobs I had so far (barman, receptionist, etc.), but I am interested in creating my own business, even though I don't know which kind. I would like to start Leo's Life Purpose course, but I don't know if it's too early or not, I still have to finish my Bachelor's.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, manuel bon said:

But my question is: how can I grow spiritually and pursue enlightenment and awakening, while still being able to focus on growing a business, getting a girlfriend, and doing all these things?

You need to design a big picture plan like a CEO and space out your goals. You can't do everything at once.

[Yimpa]

On 7/12/2023 at 9:01 PM, integral said:

You where ready at 22 for psychedelics? 

I started the psychedelic at age 22.

First experience was intense as a mother trucker. I saw my dad coming home from work and it was clear as day that I was imagining him as GOD.

Okay, now back to personal development work!