my theory on why autistic people struggle so much with socialising.

[Chives99]

This is what MDMA has taught me, neurotypicals don't know something that autistic people don't, they arent born with superior social skills, theres no free will remember. Autistic people are slow to learn to socialise and struggle so much because they're in their heads constantly , thinking ,rationalising, understanding, gaining knowledge (which is a very good thing for school, academia, work, technical stuff etc) , but it doesnt work for socialising, because theres nothing logical about communication and emotions. People have general guidlelines for socialising, but they're pretty flexible for most things that the autistic person worries about and you'll be surprised at how tolerant people are and the leeway people give.

 

93% of communication is non verbal, so whats not being said, so how can you formulate how to talk and get to know someone, when there is so many variables, you dont know what someone is thinking, what their intentions are or what their situation or their personality type etc. This means you have to be in tuned to whats going on, feel into your emotions, feel into your body, feel into other peoples emotions. are they holding eye contact? if not they've lost interest in talking to you . What is their tone of voice like? are they smiling? , are they giving you the 'gaze' . When you're on MDMA you dont gain any new social skills or personality traits , you're the exact same person, you are just so                         R E L A X E D , you can still say boring stuff or socially clumsy stuff, but you arent in your head so you are much more socially calibrated to whats going on , if you're in your head you're anxious and will not be able to hold conversation, when you're relaxed you feel so comfortable in your own skill , you can literally approach anyone . Most of the time the conversation fizzles out, you move on to someone else. It just puts you in the mood to socialise, you love yourself and everyone , you are so at peace. This transmits to other people as your body language is magnetic, women approach you. Neurotypicals dont know something we dont, they just dont beat themselves up and ruminate so much when bore someone or are a bit awkward they just trial and error , trial and error, trial and error. Autistic people dont have as much emotional robustness, so we get discouraged if we make a mistake and take it to heart, we then try to analysise and formulate how to do it , which never works , you cant formulate how to socialise. I guess i'm kinda blessed that my special interests are sociological and humanitarian based, it helps really helps for socialising as my autistic friends at uni, just stayed in their rooms mostly. L E T  G O  O F  T H E  M I N D, it only breeds anxiety, but use it for intellectual stuff not when talking. 

[Schizophonia]

Anything that increases dopamine greatly decreases the symptoms of asperger's syndrome, regardless of glutaminergic or GABA signaling..
I'm sure it's a problem of brain inflammation due to ignored food intolerance, endotoxin leak, or anything related to the digestive system in general.

Btw, milk is a super strong trigger for autism in me and mucus issues, for me.

[Sugarcoat]

59 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Anything that increases dopamine greatly decreases the symptoms of asperger's syndrome,

Sugar/high carb is great for this in my experience . Does something amazing to one’s state. Even makes me more sociable, so @Chives99 pay attention to how different things affect your state 

Edited July 12, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Chives99]

4 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Anything that increases dopamine greatly decreases the symptoms of asperger's syndrome, regardless of glutaminergic or GABA signaling..
I'm sure it's a problem of brain inflammation due to ignored food intolerance, endotoxin leak, or anything related to the digestive system in general.

Btw, milk is a super strong trigger for autism in me and mucus issues, for me.

I was born with hydrocephalus, but my sister also has it so it must be genetic as well

[Leo Gura]

Autistic people lack the intuitive awareness needed of other people's perspectives and they operate too much on logic and not enough on just vibes.

In order to socialize well you are not allowed to think, you must run spontenously off vibes and just be intuitive.

I retrained my mind to run off vibes and intuition without thoughts.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Sugarcoat]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

In order to socialize well you are not allowed to think, you must run spontenously off vibes and just be intuitive.

I retrained my mind to run off vibes and intuition without thoughts.

THIS!!!!!!  100x

 

It’s a fundamental change in how one operates in the world. While at the same time not losing anything, as ones logical ability is still available. One is just not limited by it as the only mode of operating. 

[Chives99]

If 93 % of socialising is non-verbal that means you really have to pay attention to social cues, your intuition has vast amounts of information in it than you could possible fathom beyond you're imagination, reminds me of an allan watts quote

" To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float."

[StarStruck]

Thinking comes from the mind. Feeling from the body. To able to socialize you have to balance thinking and feeling. With autistic people the problem is that they are all in their head so they need to develop mindfulness to be aware of their bodily feedback (vibe) in social situations and roll off of that without the brain interrupting the process. People with autism are not aware of their stiffness in their body and that is why they can’t relax and just vibe.