the identity crisis

[Guest]

Are we/you ready to handle what comes with a forum of this general nature?

this is very easily capable of impeding general ...whatever, because "cause" and "crap" is given out to....people....

i dont know just a thought, weird things...... but im sure leo has already thought about it. its his baby, not mine  

sunday night will be interesting..... kinda

[Leo Gura]

What are you worried will happen?

[Guest]

Externalizing. 

[Ayla]

All of it is consciousness. No exceptions. It is the personality's push or pull of it that makes things "good" or "bad" 

 

[Leo Gura]

48 minutes ago, mike_herald said:

Externalizing. 

I don't follow. Your writing is very cryptic.

[Guest]

 

Eh I realize my point is both moot and well, dumb lol

[Ayla]

@mike_herald please don't beat yourself up !!!!

Let US do that  

[Guest]

Haha will do!

[Walter B]

19 hours ago, Ayla said:

All of it is consciousness. No exceptions. It is the personality's push or pull of it that makes things "good" or "bad" 

 

How hard it can be to control that push or pull is amazing.  Sometimes we seem to get lots done in short periods of time while we have the drive or focus.  I guess dissolving the identity is dissolving the personality at many levels.  Consciousness gets mixed up in all kinds of interpretations when the boundaries or "box" of one's life is realized not to exist, all in the process of learning to bust it.  Black and white don't seem to do it alone.  Maybe shades of grey would be better.  Those perceptions we can have of good and bad are so tied to the expectations that we can have of "things" based on thoughts we have that are usually only our own if we are very very conscious.

I guess we are all slipping in and out of consciousness fairly regularly. 

[Ayla]

4 hours ago, Elemental said:

How hard it can be to control that push or pull is amazing.  Sometimes we seem to get lots done in short periods of time while we have the drive or focus.  I guess dissolving the identity is dissolving the personality at many levels.  Consciousness gets mixed up in all kinds of interpretations when the boundaries or "box" of one's life is realized not to exist, all in the process of learning to bust it.  Black and white don't seem to do it alone.  Maybe shades of grey would be better.  Those perceptions we can have of good and bad are so tied to the expectations that we can have of "things" based on thoughts we have that are usually only our own if we are very very conscious.

I guess we are all slipping in and out of consciousness fairly regularly. 

Actually, I think it is impossible to control it. That would be like trying to maintain alive a flower in a vase. 

BUT, once you've had the actual experience of your consciousness, it is and always remains the soil, the foundation of your own experience. All push and pull will only be "events", "happenings" on that ground. The urge to identify with them will disappear. It won't feel like "work" or like "striving" any longer. 

You will only live  in the realization of who you REALLY are

 

[Arman]

I think what you give and get is gonna be a reflection of where you're at.

[denselayman]

for a long time i was in huge turmoil and self-torment over this issue of identity crisis, untilrecently i heard somewhere a saying/quote that resonated in me and i found peace with this issue. the thing that i heard was that ''in youth one is trying to develop/build a personality, but with age soul wins out'' and to me it meant, that it does not matter who/what/how i am, if i let myself advance naturally[i have slow[emphasison slow] but persisting ways of doing self-help/reflecting] then eventually i will be okay and be more in tune with my soul/higher self or whatever the cool term is...

 

that reminds me of advice resonance that i have concrete belief in. just hearing some advice is very nice, but until it/that advice comes to you naturally from within, its[told advice by other] benefit is only partial.

[Walter B]

4 hours ago, Ayla said:

Actually, I think it is impossible to control it. That would be like trying to maintain alive a flower in a vase. 

BUT, once you've had the actual experience of your consciousness, it is and always remains the soil, the foundation of your own experience. All push and pull will only be "events", "happenings" on that ground. The urge to identify with them will disappear. It won't feel like "work" or like "striving" any longer. 

You will only live  in the realization of who you REALLY are

 

The experience fades away for a time when the identity is gone.  And remembering alone happens on it's own time.  Trying to push the rope by seeking company brings new dilemmas.  Maslow's work is a favorite to me.

The majority of our world is designed to take more than it gives as all of us strive to climb out of the crab bucket.  No magic pills or wands or endless flows of money or whatever.  However, some people do seem to find "crutches" that they are comfortable with.  As the crutch requires it's own devotion!

There's more to it than realizing who we really are.  That doesn't seem to pay my bills at least!

[Walter B]

1 hour ago, Arman said:

I think what you give and get is gonna be a reflection of where you're at.

And perhaps where you are going!?  People don't stay "where they are at" very long it seems!

[Phrae]

I didn't understand this

[7Lions]

You chaps are awesome, soaking up so much wisdom/understanding and maybe a bit of love just reading your comments/conversation : )

I'm not sure I have as much to add at this point, but this stuff is super relevant for me. Lately I've been feeling a sort of dissolution of what I thought of as "myself", a dissolution of Personhood. There's been a sort of growing recognition that the people in my life - I am them and they are me, there's an inseparability that comes with sharing an experience, even though other beings have their own differing perspectives and things that make them tick and from moment to moment we're free to go our separate ways and dance our own dance other beings of course have their own free will, what's been making me feel astonished lately is maybe free will is free! (But it seems best when rooted in love) There's a sort of warm pleasant feeling that on some level each being/experiencer is still connected in some way on some level, even if it's just the view that all of creation is connected and joined as parts in an unchanging whole, that creation and us as experiencers are rooted in the one, in source that will always be beyond and greater than us, and thank goodness  - that seems to allow us to keep experiencing it- subjectively, collectively, whatever that form of experience takes, but there is always more outside of ourselves, that we are rooted inside of. 

It's sweet believing that others can be asking for advice, where their question they'd like answered can also be relevant for me and that in this way there is a great benefit. I guess as denselayman wrote the benefit of advice gained with others in this manner isn't maximized until it arises internally/is integrated in a unique way. It's strange I wonder if seeing the external as strictly external isn't quite it. That the external is external/internal, there is of course an-other being interacted with, and being doesn't know an-others perspective and view, how things are relevant for that other, different get/enjoy the same thing in different ways. When advice or guidance comes seemingly spontaneously from within, then maybe that's the other part of the benefit that can't be gained just hearing it from another/an-other. 

I was reading under the posting guidelines that abnormal psychology isn't a focus of this forum/group, I hope my posting doesn't fall under that but instead positive psychology. This "enlightenment" stuff is experientialy rather new to me so I'm definitely still finding my feet so to speak. 

Thanks for the videos Leo and all the work/play you do. It's helpful and appreciated

Edited February 7, 2016 by 7Lions

[Walter B]

14 minutes ago, 7Lions said:

You chaps are awesome, soaking up so much wisdom/understanding and maybe a bit of love just reading your comments/conversation : )

I'm not sure I have as much to add at this point, but this stuff is super relevant for me. Lately I've been feeling a sort of dissolution of what I thought of as "myself", a dissolution of Personhood. There's been a sort of growing recognition that the people in my life - I am them and they are me, there's an inseparability that comes with sharing an experience, even though other beings have their own differing perspectives and things that make them tick and from moment to moment we're free to go our separate ways and dance our own dance other beings of course have their own free will, what's been making me feel astonished lately is maybe free will is free! (But it seems best when rooted in love) There's a sort of warm pleasant feeling that on some level each being/experiencer is still connected in some way on some level, even if it's just the view that all of creation is connected and joined as parts in an unchanging whole, that creation and us as experiencers are rooted in the one, in source that will always be beyond and greater than us, and thank goodness  - that seems to allow us to keep experiencing it- subjectively, collectively, whatever that form of experience takes, but there is always more outside of ourselves, that we are rooted inside of. 

It's sweet believing that others can be asking for advice, where their question they'd like answered can also be relevant for me and that in this way there is a great benefit. I guess as denselayman wrote the benefit of advice gained with others in this manner isn't maximized until it arises internally/is integrated in a unique way. It's strange I wonder if seeing the external as strictly external isn't quite it. That the external is external/internal, there is of course an-other being interacted with, and being doesn't know an-others perspective and view, how things are relevant for that other, different get/enjoy the same thing in different ways. When advice or guidance comes seemingly spontaneously from within, then maybe that's the other part of the benefit that can't be gained just hearing it from another/an-other. 

Thanks for the videos Leo and all the work/play you do. It's helpful and appreciated

I've noticed this in many ways.  It's simply the truth.  From inside it comes.  No one can tell you.  Not because it's wrong, but because that's just how it is.  And when you know an-other inside and out it becomes apparent what they/we are and what we really know.  If you want to be good then you can't be bad very often even to yourself.  There are not as many lies as there are people who are unaware and mismatched and for wrong reasons.  Knowing an-other is sometimes just too much to maintain for long as it has a detrimental effect on the one that is good and aware!

[refocusme]

I am new to this site.  I desperately need to refocus and gain some control over my emotions and direction.  Reaction not action seems to sum my whole life up.  When I found actualized.org I began to at least understand myself better.  Just surviving my situation in life can't be all I am supposed  to do so here I post and hope that there will be new awareness, goal setting, attitude change, and ability to make my silk purse no matter where I find myself and who my circle includes.  I am stuck in a stereotypical ditch and am sick of it.  I have learned enough already to stop labeling my own self and refuse to be stepped on and devalued and allow others  to be limit and define me by their unqualified measuring sticks.  I may not say much but I am listening and taking notes and making some major changes in myself.  I am walking my life out and it is scary but it has to happen.  I didn't really want the direction I am going but I am determined for it to be a win/win instead of a total win/lose.  The people who care about me state that being able to adapt is one of my best qualities.  My adaption to rough turns of events in the past is great but I spend so much time miserable on the inside and landing on all fours on the outside.  This is killing me.  I deserve better and am taking the control away from others and moving on.  If you look at this post you will see a million "I" and I automatically thought this looks self centered and I should not appear as such.  Here we go again worrying about what others might think and me willing to fix me for them.  Nope no more.   I am very untech oriented but this is another area that must change for my job sake and just to improve myself.  Please forgive errors I might make in this forum.  I need some help with that stuff.  

[denselayman]

4 minutes ago, refocusme said:

 I need some help with that stuff.  

we are in same boat really, only difference is that i have understood that desperate, cornered situations does not always ask for grand turn of events/total overhaul. in my case if i can improve several tiny things and maintain the improvements, i'll grow more than doing one thing very
focused and then moving to next.

understanding and coming to complete picture of our faults, situations, circumstances and all this are very similar for most of us in broad sense, but from that point onwards, the path is very unique and personal. advice from others are cool, but if you manage to put all your problems and issues on the table yourself and see the entire picture of your misery, you are also capable to go from there on your own, from others you just need little motivation and look how they go about this themselves to gain better understanding and insight into how could you for yourself.

 

there will be many pointers i imagine, use them as refference, not as a masterplan. draw juice from them and let it energize you being yourself and steering yourself onwards!

[refocusme]

Good point made and taken.  I know that trying to overhaul myself all at once is not sustainable.  I always thought though that if there could be even a 1% improvement in most areas of my life and direction that surely it would help.  I have chosen about 4 things to really work on in self actualization this year.  You are right that no one will have the exact answers for me.  However, just listening to others ( in this case reading) with similar issues and the desire to change ourselves into a better or at least different us does help and spur me forward.  I cannot let this new forum though keep me in the problems as some support groups end up doing.  I will guard against this as I ruminate way too much on the sad and bad feeling it all over again and again with no time to even create the now much less guide my future.  I have really learned a lot in just a short time listening to Leo.  I hope that he is the really nice guy he seems.  If not, I still am at least I truly do believe that there is a "good" and even if we have disappointment it doesn't kill us.