self worth tied to relationships

[Chives99]

Society makes me feel like im a loser for not having loads of sex and engaging in relationships, i know beating myself up is just adding fuel to the fire, but people just get under my skin. I'm not even a virgin, but society makes you feel like somethings wrong with you, society is just so obsessed with it all. Now you have college drop outs working at mcdonalds thinking theyre better than you, yet they are as dumb as a post. I know its not rational but i just dont know how to let go , its the way society makes you feel, maybe im too impressionable, i just want to feel good.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Society doesnt care about you so its all in your head because you dont have society of your own.

Do you have your own governing system to tell you how to be and what to think? You dont so society does it for you..

 

[Leo Gura]

If you stop spinning that story then it will literally be a non-issue. You have to be confident in your own values. I don't have much relationships or sex and it barely bothers me because I love all the other benefits I get for it.

An important part of your development is honestly just saying Fuck You to all of society's expectations of you, opting instead to be full yourself, your own source of authority and values.

People will certainly try to gaslight and shame you into adopting their values, but if you develop a backbone eventually you will rise above all that.

Just trust in your own value system. That's the key!

Edited July 10, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Chives99]

@NoSelfSelf how can you have your own society 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 By creating goverment in your mind that states your laws that you follow,the principles you stand behind etc. Then you check with your goverment how you gonna be in situation and what decision you gonna do based on your goverment(your society) not what society wants you to be like so you please and validate it to get pat on your head...rather how you gonna please yourself and move on your own...

Ps:this doesnt mean to break societiys laws and jobs laws outsde of that you can tell it i dont care about it its not my mission to please and follow its to impact and uplift or whatever you want it to be..

 

Edited July 11, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Chives99]

33 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Chives99 By creating goverment in your mind that states your laws that you follow,the principles you stand behind etc. Then you check with your goverment how you gonna be in situation and what decision you gonna do based on your goverment(your society) not what society wants you to be like so you please and validate it to get pat on your head...rather how you gonna please yourself and move on your own...

Ps:this doesnt mean to break societiys laws and jobs laws outsde of that you can tell it i dont care about it its not my mission to please and follow its to impact and uplift or whatever you want it to be..

 

im autistic i need less rules , rules dont work with socialising lol

[Schizophonia]

21 hours ago, Chives99 said:

Society makes me feel like im a loser for not having loads of sex and engaging in relationships, i know beating myself up is just adding fuel to the fire, but people just get under my skin. I'm not even a virgin, but society makes you feel like somethings wrong with you, society is just so obsessed with it all. Now you have college drop outs working at mcdonalds thinking theyre better than you, yet they are as dumb as a post. I know its not rational but i just dont know how to let go , its the way society makes you feel, maybe im too impressionable, i just want to feel good.

 

When people say "society society society", it usually means "me".
It's a way of twisting reality to be right and escape one's own judgment (and bullshit?).

12 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

im autistic i need less rules , rules dont work with socialising lol

Asperger ?

 

[Sugarcoat]

19 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

im autistic i need less rules , rules dont work with socialising lol

Now that’s your rule?? I’m lowkey autistic asf myself so I get what you mean 

Edited July 11, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Chives99]

Neurotypicals don't use them rules are just optional 

[Sugarcoat]

21 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

Neurotypicals don't use them rules are just optional 

It can also just be your own “intuition” so not much “ rule” in the conventional sense of an obvious structure . But still your own intuition and spontaneity. Which maybe can take some work to get in touch with if you have a lot of anxiety  socially 

 But still those people who seem natural socially those “neurotypicals”.
I bet you they have a bunch of rules themselves it’s just so deeply ingrained in them and society, the norm essentially, that it’s just seems natural . But go outside the norm and you’ll see people react to it?their  many rules become so obvious when you break them! They will be mad at you for being yourself! And why would you care? Think about for a second, the type of person that would judge you - would you even want to connect with that person ? I bet not. Such people can challenge you tho and reveal a lot about yourself so that can be positive in a way too

Edited July 11, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 I dont know what to say then accept you gonna be like you are and dont complain.

There are millions of rules in socialising dont be an asshole is the one,respect others opinions,dont take yourself too seriously,the most cliche be yourself! etc. You either follow or create the rules...

Edited July 11, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Chives99]

What I'm getting from this is grow s thick skin and be cocky back "why you so concerned about my life clearly nothing going on in your own "

[Sugarcoat]

29 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

What I'm getting from this is grow s thick skin and be cocky back "why you so concerned about my life clearly nothing going on in your own "

????is that all you got from this ??

 

but ok at the end of the day you want to feel better in yourself, about yourself right? Independent of wether someone is disrespectful to you or not. So for sure if being a little cocky back sometimes makes you feel better in yourself it can be useful but if it’s just some facade that you use to not feel the insecurity inside you then you didn’t solve anything as the insecurity is still there inside in a sense. So it depends I would say?? 

[Chives99]

@NoSelfSelf NT's do have rules but they break them all the time, whether tht 'rule' should be enforced is also up to discretion, how many times do the police turn a blind eye to stuff, in some countries you can pretty much just pay the police off

[Chives99]

@Sugarcoat live life by your own standards, there is no 'right' way to live it, but some ways are less conscious sure

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Chives99 said:

@Sugarcoat live life by your own standards, there is no 'right' way to live it, but some ways are less conscious sure

Yes!

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 You not getting anything from this because you concerned about nt's,police,other countries then ofcourse sociey will make you feel a certen way, because your mind is wired to be a follower stop concerning yourself with other people businesses thats all im trying to say here and its my last ?...

Edited July 12, 2023 by NoSelfSelf