What's my problem?

[Butters]

I think girls see me as this extreme bad boy type at first because I'm super stoic, confident fighter type looking dude (started kickboxing last year and I love it). 

I also function very well on my own and all the shit I've been through just made me this way. I think this just gives me a strong energy. 

When I do approaches women are usually very happy to talk to me. 

But I think they expect me to escalate really quickly and I'm always afraid to. I know intuitively the moment I should touch her but I never do out of some fear of having misread her. I know this is stupid. Afterwards I usually feel bad or less of a man. 

I'm also tired of young girls because they expect me to carry the whole thing and I don't like the responsibility if I don't fully know what I'm doing. 

Maybe i should only date women my age? I'm 34. I go both to raves where I only meet young girls but also to yoga class where I meet more women my age who I kinda like better. 

Met a girl at yoga the other day and we really vibed well. But after half an hour this idiot started talking to me like I was gay or something so I had to stop seeing her. This is what I mean women want me to escalate within minutes or they lose attraction I think. 

It's kinda like I want women to approach me, which happens sometimes but these are not at all the women I'm interested in (either bat shit crazy or wildly inexperienced / unattractive). 

I bet I would do well at social game because I have such a wide range of Charisma and depth in my personality but I don't show it to strangers. 

I'm quite socially isolated but I like it. I get plenty of social validation just in public, that's not the problem. I've overcome social anxiety, I love public speaking. 

I'm just a little autistic or neurotic with girls I guess. I also reject a lot of girls and women, usually because I don't like them or they are in a relationship and want to cheat. 

Tldr; women want to sleep with me instantly and I have trust issues or something and I want to feel comfortable with them first, actually get to know them, which makes me gay. 

[Leo Gura]

Learn to properly escalate and communicate with sexual intent. It's quite easy.

Edited July 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Butters]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Learn to properly escalate and communicate with sexual intent. It's quite easy.

Thank you. So I can escalate almost entirely with words and eye contact? I know how to flirt, I just shut down when it becomes obvious she's getting turned on. Maybe because PUAs say you need to get physical and I'm not comfortable with or something. 

Oh one more question: what's the final pull move after escalation? Is it just a "wanna go back to my place" or should you come up with some excuse, because I don't like that and that's why I get stuck here. Or do you just keep escalating until the sexual energy is so high that this just goes automatic? 

Edited July 9, 2023 by Butters

[Butters]

One more question: I'd love to have one or more girls / women on the regular who I can also hang out with once in a while and vibe with. Is this the wrong attitude that's not gonna get me laid? Should I just go for the physical? 

I'm picky, like I only wanna sleep with women who I respect / have some maturity / can trust. Might just be trauma or comfort zone. 

Edited July 9, 2023 by Butters

[Butters]

I think I've found the solution; I'm going to cold approach women my age who I'm attracted to and clearly communicate sexual intent. 

[StarStruck]

It has to do with your belief. People will treat you like you present yourself. If you believe young girls will do what they say, they will act like that. 

Girls are insecure by nature so they will treat you in the fashion you believe how things will work out for you. 

Having strong positive beliefs is important in all facets of life. 

[Princess Arabia]

29 minutes ago, Butters said:

I think I've found the solution; I'm going to cold approach women my age who I'm attracted to and clearly communicate sexual intent. 

Be careful how you directly communicate sexual intent in a first time meet. There are no shortages for women receiving this from men, and from the subtle ways you interact with her, she will know you're already sexually attracted to her, no need to communicate it verbally to her because it might make her uncomfortable depending on the female. All women aren't the same and will respond differently to sexual innuendos. 

[Vrubel]

@Butters You seem very mature and principled, looking for depth. Yes, go for older women, they are awesome! so sweet and motherly. I also switched up my approaching to include more older women. And communicate honestly when you don't feel ready to go quickly. There is this expectation on men that they always need to be ready to fuck but this is not the case. If you communicate this sincerely and with vulnerability this can be a great connection point.  

By doing game for a few years I found out that only a very small portion of women genuinely excite me. Many girls are just kinda lame, just like most guys are lame too. 

[Vrubel]

@Princess Arabia I think he meant communicating sexual intent with presence.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Vrubel said:

@Princess Arabia I think he meant communicating sexual intent with presence.

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