When is radical honesty too much?

[trenton]

Update

I managed to open up a little more with my cousin. I told him that my sisters are talking about him behind his back. They act friendly when we visit, but it is a thin veneer. It is incongruous with how they talk about my cousin in the car.

I told them about a sexual incident from when I was six, my depression from my grandpa's funeral, my suicidal thoughts, my intrusive rape fantasies, my slight sexual desire toward men, and a couple of other things. They are already complaining. They are telling me to hold back the truth from my family while claiming to be emotionally supportive as if they really care about my point of view. They cannot handle my point of view.

I didn't tell them I don't believe in family values yet. I just need to be patient and methodical about which truths I let out when and to whom. Sooner or later I will tell them.

I don't know how my grandma will feel if I tell her the twisted view that I am happy for her sake that her son is dead because of how he exploited her for money. This one I might actually hold back.

[not-a-faerie]

On 7/7/2023 at 0:14 PM, trenton said:

I refuse to believe that my suffering was for nothing.

It is for nothing. Suffering has no purpose. Don’t waste your time trying to change what you have no control over. Don’t waste your energy trying to make shit edible.

[Nemra]

@trenton 

Don't you agree that changing oneself means thinking outside the box? In this case, I mean completely changing your life.

I guarantee that you don't want suffering to be the center of your life. Suffering can work for you if you learn from it, but don't chase it because it will degrade your life. Even a little bit is too much sometimes. I'm not saying to not go through it, but know when you are unnecessarily creating suffering. I'm not justifying not to be honest with your family.

Edited July 14, 2023 by Understander

[caspex]

You have an internal conflict, that's what you need to solve. You're not being authentic by telling that to your Grandma, you are only being impulsive. It's not authentic to vomit your inner smoothie made of bullshit onto others, it's impulsive. There's a big difference. To truly be authentic, you need to truly be you. What you are truly, as a human, is covered by all this guilt, confusion and ignorance. If you really want to be radically honest, you need to figure out who you are truly as a human being, as a person born onto this earth. Then, you wouldn't be facing these dilemmas anymore. Solve these inner conflicts before attempting to be authentic. Purify your inner smoothie, and you'll realize there's no smoothie left, no bullshit to vomit anymore. So then take the lid off the mixer and be as authentic as you want.

When you are radically honest, you're honest completely, inside and out. You are you, completely. Currently you are broken into fragments, that's what your problem is.
 

Quote

Straightforwardness without civility is like a surgeon’s knife, effective but unpleasant. Candor with courtesy is helpful and admirable.
- Sri Yukteshwar

Even when you are truly able to be authentic, it's important it's done with civility, in case of family or public matters. There's no reason to be polite in case of seeking the truth ofcourse.
Being polite comes naturally when you know who you are truly. It's not a mask over your authentic words, but just a flavor.
It's like giving a kid some medicine. They're easily able to drink it if it's sweet as opposed to bitter. It doesn't make the medicine any less effective.

Edited July 14, 2023 by Swarnim

[trenton]

I want to tell my family about the porn I've been looking at. I have been holding up the image of being innocent long enough. Deep down I am uncomfortable with my sexual attraction toward women because it reveals that my innocence is bullshit. I want to have an authentic relationship and I don't want to be fake at all.

[Nemra]

@trenton noticing that you are not authentic is actually a progress. Actually masturbation can help you. Try to understand your sexual desires a little bit before getting into a relationship.