Heart of Space

I'm not gay anymore

21 posts in this topic

What a relief.  This is a serious thread.  You have no idea how long I thought I was gay.

just had to let everyone know

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Sound like the typical bi-cycle.

Edited by Michal__

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I guess it doesn't matter (you can come and go through phases I suppose? I'm hetero cis myself but I guess you can), or rather it does if you feel better like that and you're not lying to yourself?

 

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And I finally shot my glock 17 and DDM4 rifle.  Boy is that a rush.  

And I'm being pressured by my local collective conscious field to vote for Trump in the coming election.  

 

 

Edited by Heart of Space

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I'm glad I'm not gay anymore.  It was like pushing a bag of rocks through my urethra.  Emotionally.  

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18 minutes ago, Heart of Space said:

I'm glad I'm not gay anymore.  It was like pushing a bag of rocks through my urethra.  Emotionally.  

What made you realize you’re not?

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1 hour ago, Heart of Space said:

I'm glad I'm not gay anymore.  It was like pushing a bag of rocks through my urethra.  Emotionally.  

How did you reach this conclusion, what changed and how previously did you decide you were gay in the first place?

I am bi, If I focus on the heterosexual aspect I hate men, and If focus on the homo aspect, I hate women.


"Say to the sheep in your secrecy when you intend to slaughter it, Today you are slaughtered and tomorrow I am.
Both of us will be consumed.

My blood and your blood, my suffering and yours is the essence that nourishes the tree of existence.'"

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4 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

How did you reach this conclusion, what changed and how previously did you decide you were gay in the first place?

I am bi, If I focus on the heterosexual aspect I hate men, and If focus on the homo aspect, I hate women.

I'm in the process of opening my inner emotional channels.  It's extremely painful, but I'm far along.  

I have some bisexual tendencies, but after some emotional maturation I have realized I'm hetero with submissive sexual tendencies.  

I don't see men attractive in the same way I do with women.  

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5 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

What made you realize you’re not?

Many years of maturation and contemplating my feelings.

My sexuality in particular is very ambiguous and difficult to pin down 

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6 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

You must just think rainbows are pretty then

They are and they are a symbol of acceptance of diverse ways of being

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1 hour ago, Heart of Space said:

Many years of maturation and contemplating my feelings.

My sexuality in particular is very ambiguous and difficult to pin down 

I relate to that ambiguity and have been on my own journey w this too. That’s great you came to a satisfactory conclusion! When we are open to ourselves that’s when it’s possible to find out

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I love myself so much that I surrendered to Gay Love. 


I AM itching for the truth 

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14 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I love myself so much that I surrendered to Gay Love. 

I surrender myself to love.  I'm with you.  

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14 hours ago, Heart of Space said:

And I finally shot my glock 17 and DDM4 rifle.  Boy is that a rush.  

 

In my compulsory military service I was reponsible with an armory  full of Ak 47's. To me they were bunch of wasted earth resources. I mean yeah feels great when you connect  long distance shots while people are around you but that's it. 

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9 hours ago, Heart of Space said:

I'm in the process of opening my inner emotional channels.  It's extremely painful, but I'm far along.  

I have some bisexual tendencies, but after some emotional maturation I have realized I'm hetero with submissive sexual tendencies.  

I don't see men attractive in the same way I do with women.  

The only way to truly find find out is to test out both exactly the fantasies you have with women and exactly the fantasies you have with men in real life. No matter how weird they may be :P.

Speaking from experience.

Edited by Michal__

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When we come to the realization that sexuality cannot be labelled, we will stop labelling our sexuality.  When you feel horny, did you tell yourself a minute before that, that you were going to make your body feel horny, no, it just happened. We didn't tell ourselves what we were going to be attracted to, we naturally got attracted to things.  Things are just happening in life. We are only frustrating ourselves by thinking we are in control. There's a bigger force at play here, and when we realize we do not choose what we are attracted to and that attraction stems from other factors than our own direct doing, we can relax and let life do it's thing. You don't like burgers because you chose to like burgers, you like burgers because of how your brain is wired. It's a subconscious decision. If you say you like it because it tastes good, then why does it tastes good to you. Tasting is a sensation. You can like women today and hate them tomorrow, did you tell yourself you were going to choose to love women today and choose to hate them tomorrow, no, it just happened. Decisions are being made for us based on our programming. Saying you're gay today can change at any moment and now you believe you're straight. If you were truly gay nothing can change that no matter what. If anything is transient, it is not real. Impermanence is a part of life. Things are forever changing. Nothing is at a standstill and that includes your state of being. We can choose to become what we want to become by choosing what part of the already finished creation we want to explore. We are not straight, we are not gay, bi, queer, trans or any of that we just are. Whatever floats your boat at the moment then become that and whatever floats your boat in the next moment we then be that too. You'd be surprised what is available to explore by letting go of the labels. We are going against our nature and that's partially why we suffer. Even though we are limited beings we can expand our limitations to explore more of the unlimited nature of what we truly are.


 

 

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Being relieved about this is only going to bite you in the ass even harder next time lmfao.  

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