Backpacking for a year as a way to grow oneself?

[something_else]

I'm wondering if anyone has opinions on the benefits of going backpacking for a year from a growth perspective? Age is probably important context here, so I'll start with saying I'm 23.

I am someone who has always struggled a fair bit with social anxiety and making new friends, but when I travelled to Nepal this summer for just over a month it was the most naturally sociable I've ever been, I had an absolute blast and met so many amazing people.

I probably made more friends in that one month than I have in my entire life up until that point. It was mostly long-term backpackers who I met, and they felt like they were my kind of people. I can make friends here but they all feel more superficial than the friends I made when travelling.

When I was sitting listening to music on a 6hr long bus to go out on a Safari trip with two mates I met while trekking, I can genuinely pinpoint that moment as the happiest I've ever felt in my life up until this point. It's also the moment that I realised I am in a pretty good position in life now to go backpacking myself. I started planning to quit my job at the end of this year, and go travelling around SE Asia, India, Nepal (again) and perhaps other places for the entirety of next year like many of the people I met on that trip were doing.

It's not cheap but I can afford to do it if I save up for the next 6ish months.

It is something I've completely set my mind on doing, but at the same time there is a part of me that is viewing this as me wasting every penny I have saved up on a year long holiday that isn't going to provide me any actual long term value.

But then another part of me looks at how many amazing stories and experiences I got from 1 month of it (and how many crazy stories the people I met have) and I feel so passionately driven towards doing something like that myself that I honestly don't think there is much that can stop me from doing it now.

Does anyone here have experience with backpacking and do you feel like it was an experience that grew you? Do you feel it was worth it? Do you have any advice?

Thanks!

Edited July 6, 2023 by something_else

[Moksha]

Being in nature can be deeply grounding. Some of my earliest memories of connection with source occurred in nature. Go for it, as long as your purpose is to enjoy the journey, rather than attaching some condition of enlightenment upon completing it. If you are conscious, each step will be its own reward.

[SeaMonster]

Couldn't tell you unless you are clear about what you goals are.  It may just be an escape where you don't have to struggle with the uncomfortable realities back home.  You have to know what you want out of yourself and then figure out the best way to get it (which is not always as enjoyable as going backpacking for year.)  If your month-long trip didn't offer you any clarity, then I don't know whether a year would.  A month-long trip should have been enough.

Edited July 7, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Joker]

I did a 3 month backpacking trip around SE Asia at around the same age as you and it was one of the best experiences of my life. 

Also suffered with social anxiety and by the end of the trip was a completly different person in this respect due to being forced to push myself out of my comfort zone repeatedly. In the last week of the trip I experienced a 2 day period of no-self too, which I didn't fully understand at the time.

You're at the perfect age for it, so my advice would be to go. When you're older it becomes increasingly difficult to do these trips. Also you don't nesseserially need to spend all your savings on an entire year. Do 6 months initially and decide if you want to continue from there. Backpacking is rewarding but also tiring, personally I think 6 months is more than enough. 

Enjoy!

[Yimpa]

@Joker Awesome job! It’s truly amazing discovering a wider capability within ourselves when we consciously push ourselves past our comfort zone. 

[something_else]

7 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

It may just be an escape where you don't have to struggle with the uncomfortable realities back home

I am mostly very happy with my life at home, I don't feel like I'm running away.

The main thing I dislike about my life at home is that I suck at making friends and my social skills are a little lacking.

Quote

A month-long trip should have been enough.

Really I'm after adventure, freedom, and stories to tell. A month felt like it only gave me a taster of it.

6 hours ago, Joker said:

I did a 3 month backpacking trip around SE Asia at around the same age as you and it was one of the best experiences of my life. 

Also suffered with social anxiety and by the end of the trip was a completly different person in this respect due to being forced to push myself out of my comfort zone repeatedly. In the last week of the trip I experienced a 2 day period of no-self too, which I didn't fully understand at the time.

You're at the perfect age for it, so my advice would be to go. When you're older it becomes increasingly difficult to do these trips. Also you don't nesseserially need to spend all your savings on an entire year. Do 6 months initially and decide if you want to continue from there. Backpacking is rewarding but also tiring, personally I think 6 months is more than enough. 

Enjoy!

Thanks for the support and advice! Yea I can take a year if I like, but I could also do 3 or 6 months depending on how I feel. The flexibility of it is very nice.

Edited July 7, 2023 by something_else

[SeaMonster]

38 minutes ago, something_else said:

I am mostly very happy with my life at home, I don't feel like I'm running away.

The main thing I dislike about my life at home is that I suck at making friends and my social skills are a little lacking.

Those two sentences literally contradict each other, unless you think friendships and social skills are trivial aspects of life.

39 minutes ago, something_else said:

Really I'm after adventure, freedom and stories to tell. A month felt like it only gave me a taster of it.

Stories to tell to friends you have trouble making?

Sorry, I'm not trying to be a dick, but you sound like you're a little bit in denial.  

[something_else]

10 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

Those two sentences literally contradict each other, unless you think friendships and social skills are trivial aspects of life.

I have friends, and I have a decent social life. They just could be better. And more effortless. I feel the root problem is just a lack of social experience overall because I spent a good chunk of my childhood and teenage years inside playing video games, and I feel a strong desire to make up for that now. 

I already have been making up for it here in Scotland for the past two or so years and have made very good progress. But the progress I made in one month away was greater than two years here. That feels like something not worth ignoring.

19 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

Stories to tell to friends you have trouble making?

Having stories to tell is a good way to make friends  

The idea is also that by travelling solo you are almost forced to meet tens of new people every day. If that doesn't massively increase your social skills and ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere, it's hard to imagine what would.

22 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

Sorry, I'm not trying to be a dick, but you sound like you're a little bit in denial.  

In denial of what?

[SeaMonster]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

I have friends, and I have a decent social life. They just could be better. And more effortless. I feel the root problem is just a lack of social experience overall because I spent a good chunk of my childhood and teenage years inside playing video games, and I feel a strong desire to make up for that now. 

The point is you're not happy with where your social life and social skills are.  You consider it an issue.  No need to downplay it.

1 hour ago, something_else said:

I already have been making up for it here in Scotland for the past two or so years and have made very good progress. But the progress I made in one month away was greater than two years here. That feels like something not worth ignoring.

But the point is, is it transferable or is it circumstantial? Maybe one is easier than the other, but does it translate into more growth necessarily?

Like, easier isn't always better for growth.

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Having stories to tell is a good way to make friends 

I know you're trying to be funny, but seriously, having to impress people with travel stories is not how I would go about making friends.

It's trying too hard, like you're The Most Interesting Man In The World

1 hour ago, something_else said:

The idea is also that by travelling solo you are almost forced to meet tens of new people every day. If that doesn't massively increase your social skills and ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere, it's hard to imagine what would.

That's fine, but it seems like a special circumstance that may be different than actually forming deep, lasting friendships back home.

1 hour ago, something_else said:

In denial of what?

Friendships aren't a big deal, it's normal human stuff.

Therefore, don't treat it as it such. Don't think you need to go out of your way to get good at them.  It's simple, you listen; you show interest in what people have to say, you talk a little about yourself and how it relates.  You don't need to impress people (in fact, it can backfire.)

I could easily make friends saying one tenth of what the other person is saying.  Most people just want to be listened to, you don't need to be a raconteur.

There's no reason to avoid trying that right where you are.

Edited July 7, 2023 by SeaMonster

[something_else]

28 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

But the point is, is it transferable or is it circumstantial? Maybe one is easier than the other, but does it translate into more growth necessarily?

Like, easier isn't always better for growth.

I don't see how it wouldn't transfer. It's exposing yourself to a massive amount of social experience.

31 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

I know you're trying to be funny, but seriously, having to impress people with travel stories is not how I would go about making friends.

It's trying too hard, like you're The Most Interesting Man In The World

The wording of that was designed to play on what you said, yea, but being an interesting person makes it easier to meet new people, there's no doubting that.

I don't want to be the most interesting man in the world, I just don't want to be a boring person. I want to do cool shit with my life and have interesting things to add to a conversation.

48 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

Friendships aren't a big deal, it's normal human stuff.

Therefore, don't treat it as it such. Don't think you need to go out of your way to get good at them.  It's simple, you listen; you show interest in what people have to say, you talk a little about yourself and how it relates.  You don't need to impress people (in fact, it can backfire.)

Social skills are something that take practice for some people, especially if you did not get a lot of practice as a kid/teenager. As an adult who's graduated from uni and now works a remote job, it feels like it's pretty hard to get that experience in day to day life.

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

I could easily make friends saying one tenth of what the other person is saying.  Most people just want to be listened to, you don't need to be a raconteur.

I get that. But I also want to develop some degree of personality and the ability to talk eloquently and charismatically. In most of my past and current friendships I tend to be quite quiet, exactly like you say. But that is not because that is who I am as a person, it's because I'm too shy or lacking in confidence to actually talk or say the things I want to say, and so I adopted that quiet style of communication to compensate for that.

I also notice that for me it's easy to end up becoming people's therapist when I am just quiet and listen to people and that is not the kind of relationship or friendship that I want. Sure, some degree of that is important but I'd rather chat shit, have adventures, build memories, and just have a blast with people. That's what I feel like I'm lacking in life right now.

Quote

There's no reason to avoid trying that right where you are.

I have been 

[Salvijus]

Wow. I wish i could do something like that. Maybe it will happen one day

Edited July 7, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

"Chose love over fear" as they say

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Salvijus said:

Wow. I wish i could do something like that. Maybe it will happen one day

I hope you can! 

[Rigel]

You obviously love travelling! Do it!

[WonderSeeker]

@something_else not just backpacking, but travel in general. that's the power of it: you meet other open-minded, interesting individuals seeking expansion. a year ago I was in Mongolia for graduate research, and in just a couple weeks I went on like 10 dates, made a couple strong friends, and developed a new love for life. doors opened in a flash

So, if you've got the money, go back and meet more people. Hell, what are you asking us for?!

On 7/6/2023 at 1:39 PM, something_else said:

It is something I've completely set my mind on doing, but at the same time there is a part of me that is viewing this as me wasting every penny I have saved up on a year long holiday that isn't going to provide me any actual long term value.

^ is this your voice, or a parent? you know goddamn well that there is a chance at long-term value here; you basically said it yourself in this post. if anything, cut the travel to just 3 months. then you'll still have some money to fall back on. 

[Yimpa]

10 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

^ is this your voice, or a parent? you know goddamn well that there is a chance at long-term value here; you basically said it yourself in this post. if anything, cut the travel to just 3 months. then you'll still have some money to fall back on. 

You look like Leo’s younger brother, and I’m all for it 

[something_else]

On 09/07/2023 at 7:02 PM, WonderSeeker said:

not just backpacking, but travel in general. that's the power of it: you meet other open-minded, interesting individuals seeking expansion. a year ago I was in Mongolia for graduate research, and in just a couple weeks I went on like 10 dates, made a couple strong friends, and developed a new love for life. doors opened in a flash

So, if you've got the money, go back and meet more people. Hell, what are you asking us for?!

Oh shit, Mongolia is on my list of places to visit funnily enough! How was it? Do you have any recommendations?

And thank you for the encouragement 

Quote

^ is this your voice, or a parent? you know goddamn well that there is a chance at long-term value here; you basically said it yourself in this post. if anything, cut the travel to just 3 months. then you'll still have some money to fall back on. 

Both my parents are encouraging it lol, it's my voice. It's pretty quiet but I do notice that a bit of doubt creeps in here or there.

[itsadistraction]

On 08/07/2023 at 7:40 AM, Rigel said:

You obviously love travelling! Do it!

@something_else Exactly, travelling is a no brainer move for you, follow your bliss. It will lead to something more

[hyruga]

I like your goal which is 1 year of backpacking. People usually downsize on their vacation but if you start big goals, you will still get somewhere! Go for it!

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, hyruga said:

I like your goal which is 1 year of backpacking. People usually downsize on their vacation but if you start big goals, you will still get somewhere! Go for it!

Just be careful not to bite off more than you chew, though. You’ll inevitably quit if you go overboard, unless you’re really passionate about what you’re doing,