The reactions from American society to an empty individual.

[RickyBalboa]

I'd been reading Ralstons The Book of Not Knowing and been doing a lot of yoga and gada training. I've been making a real attempt to bring a calm energy over myself in opposition to my very anxious and shifty energies from my past. While I feel the benefits of being more energetically grounded. I notice that this really  can have a profound effect on those around me. Some good some bad. 

I've made it a point to interact with very little pretense and have very few thoughts running through my head when conducting business out and around in public. What I never anticipated though was how thoroughly uncomfortable I could make certain types of people with this. Really. It's quite incredible the degree to which I am seeing people knee-jerkingly roll eye's, fake smile, vomit statement's completely out of line with how they are feeling, Just to sustain the mask of behavioral social righteousness.

It's truly incredible. My interactions went from rushed diarrhea statements from a pool of about 30 possible phrases and a narrow range of interaction types.  To a more relaxed. and wide open river of possible statements. The range of interactions has become so much more diverse. Either it goes really peacefully, and has warm gracious energy, or can span all the way to the other end of the spectrum to this really ugly kurtz and dismissive attitude from the other person. I have to admit, those really feel nasty and my already high level of sensitivity does not respond well to it. But as each of those interactions passes me, I unbiasedly pick apart what happened and why. The answer I mostly come up with is with that the other person almost ALWAYS has a preset notion of what the interaction is 'supposed' to be, and then judge me for not complying with their preconceived notion. Ultimately leading me to the conclusion that they themselves are very rigid, locked in, and scared. Why else would you need to make such rash negative judgements in the midst of an interaction other than to convince themselves "Yes, I am definitely in the right here, and the better person, because the face and tone of voice I used CONFIRMS IT". The level of delusion in these people is incredible. They reference themselves as if as long as they act or speak in a way toward a person. That that event in itself is the proof of their conclusion. Initial Impression = Evidence. Its totally nuts. 

I don't socialize much, but I make it a point to be more open to "not knowing" and can see just how radically it can change ones living experience in a society obsessed with pretending to know. 

 

Other people who have made the shift from being completely riddled with anxiety to welcoming an open and life accepting energy in their life. How have you(especially highly sensitive individuals) maintained your ability to stay on this path in the face of all the individuals who judge and condemn you for not "playing the game" and not  conducting yourself in a quick paced and presumptuous attitude that is perceived as conducive to modern public communication?

Edited July 6, 2023 by RickyBalboa

[Ajax]

Just exude love and acceptance. Speak to them in a way they can relate. Be warm and kind, smile and show them you care are are willing to accept what they say with gentleness and serenity.

People are quite sensitive and fragile and put many guards and faces to mask discomfort and uncertainty.

I know that is a very general response, but I don't really know what you are asking.

[caspex]

Quote

Other people who have made the shift from being completely riddled with anxiety to welcoming an open and life accepting energy in their life. How have you(especially highly sensitive individuals) maintained your ability to stay on this path in the face of all the individuals who judge and condemn you for not "playing the game" and not  conducting yourself in a quick paced and presumptuous attitude that is perceived as conducive to modern public communication?

I went from forgetful, and anxiety driven to calm, peaceful and relaxed in my voice. I speak at the appropriate pace and crisply when it's a matter of exchange of information, but otherwise my temperament has become much sweeter. My words have gotten much clearer and I speak with a flow now. Sometimes the love is so great, it's hard to not speak to someone like you love them dearly. This does not mean I am not aware of my absolute sovereignty.

This freed up my attention to be able to notice how others behave, I'll tell you my observations. I see people being very impatient, trying to find the next interesting thing all the time. Lots of demonization, they are so preoccupied with their life and their selves that they cannot enjoy the present. It's so utterly tragic. It makes me weep. Even kids show signs of such neurotic behavior, I have seen no kid that is peaceful. I sincerely feel that this isn't normal.

[RickyBalboa]

@Ajax

2 hours ago, Ajax said:

Just exude love and acceptance. Speak to them in a way they can relate. Be warm and kind, smile and show them you care are are willing to accept what they say with gentleness and serenity.

Considering my goal is not not operate on pre-conceived patterns. Or at least operate on them less so. I feel like these things are already a step too far. I don't want to come into situations already loaded with habits I believe are going to set the situation in specific directions that one would hope for. Smiling is very often a thing we do out of expectation. Which is very much so the case in America. There is tremendous amount of pressure to always smile if you want to climb any sort of ladder in this country.  It seems like a complete contradiction. Out of fear of what will happen if we don't smile, we smile. I hold it true that you can be quite at peace and not be showing any ill to anyone walkiung into a conversation without a smile. I think smiles will materialize naturally when your curiosity becomes piqued. I find that I smile very often at the many micro-epiphanies I will continuously have in any given moment. To tell myself to "be warm and kind" with the hope that it will gain me some sort of advantage is the kind of inauthenticity I am trying to release my grasp from.

I hope I'm making sense here. 

2 hours ago, Ajax said:

People are quite sensitive and fragile and put many guards and faces to mask discomfort and uncertainty.

Yes, I'm guilty just as much as any person that I'm making critiques of. However, my goal is to weaken that muscle that makes me react in this very way.

For example. I was sitting in a lobby today waiting for a ride to come pick me up. I got up to stroll around the lobby a bit as my legs began to get tired from the sitting. I turn to find an employee staring at me from their small office. My initial reaction was to quickly dart my head away, but I did not. I just kept my gaze. Until maybe another 3 seconds passed. Still being stared it. There it came, that discomfort. "Why is this person continuously staring at me? If they had a concern, surely they would say something to me by now. Nope, still staring. I ended up making a face back at him instinctively, that I can describe as 'whats going on here bud?' ". As I  continuously strolled along, the door frame interjects our eye contact, and I see the receptionist who was just talking to me earlier looking at this guy in confirmation as if to say "See, how weird this fellow is". It struck my injustice/conspiracy trigger that I developed in school by always being ganged up on by others.  I'm glad that I was at least conscious of what made me get upset. But I still reacted negatively. 

I ended up saying aloud "Should I leave?" Is it a problem that I'm waiting for my ride here?" The girl quickly rushes out with her fake business voice, claiming that "He didn't know if I needed assistance" The inauthenticity was just oozing. She couldn't just be honest about how they were judging me because of course that 100% goes against how they are supposed to interface with the customer. I have a really hard time dealing with anyone who is doing business as there is always a pre-tense involved. They act as if their whole existence is predicated on keeping that position. It leads to massive amounts of inauthenticity.  

 I want to work on not reacting to other peoples layers and layers of expectations of "normal behavior" not get to me. It seems the less reactive I become, the more weirded out these completely loaded with opinions types spew their negativity toward me. You would think being overbearing and overtly rude would be the thing that upsets these people. But no, being less of a self and allowing them more breathing room just seems like fertle soil for them to attack you so they can feel better about themselves. 

 

2 hours ago, Ajax said:

I know that is a very general response, but I don't really know what you are asking.

 I want to work on not reacting to other peoples layers and layers of expectations of "normal behavior" not get to me.

It seems the less reactive I become, the more weirded out these completely loaded with opinions types spew their negativity toward me.

I want to be free of feeling others scorn as I know its rooted in insecurity. Our collective insecurity is what spurs the whole scenario in the first place. Their fear of me. My fear of them fearing me. 

I'm just looking for others experience with this and how they push through to being authentic whilst not being at the mercy of other peoples selfish attacks. 

Edited July 6, 2023 by RickyBalboa

[gettoefl]

correct

you are awake to the extent you relish uncertainty and cultivate freshness surprise spontaneity ...

you are asleep to the extent you are running pre-programmed interactions all day long

[Ajax]

12 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

I want to be free of feeling others scorn as I know its rooted in insecurity.

See my response here: 

Other than that, I would suggest contemplating the moment you decided to be cautious and careful about being around people. 

It relates to confidence. You are quite spiritual, but spirituality needs to be balanced with actualization. That means handling the things that are not going well in your life. Job, career, relationships. You have to use self-development on these things to be able to have confidence in yourself and your abilities. It could be about believing in yourself. 

To simplify. You got to be the boss; you can't be bossed around. Build the ability to be the boss. 

[Hojo]

@Swarnim also so much complaining. Its too hot next day its cold its too cold. Next day it rains I hate the rain then it dosent rain we need rain. Like bro

Edited July 6, 2023 by Hojo