newbie game insights: interest and sexual intent can't be faked

[Caoimhin]

I went out last night, I was doing my normal thing: approaching and working on verbals. I live in an area where there is enough of a night life to go out but not enough that there are a lot of girls I'm genuinely attracted to or interested in approaching. I force myself to approach regardless. Part of me feels it's just that I use my high standards as a crutch to not approach, but I also find it exhausting and, honestly, mean to lead girls on by approaching without having high interest. I've also realized that it's borderline impossible to game effectively when you aren't in a state of high sex drive. I've been working on communicating more sexual intent while in conversations, but I've come to a realization that I thought was worth sharing.

The insight is that interest can't be faked and sexual intent can't be forced. No amount of game will solve this, and if you figure out how to manipulate your way around this, you'll be deeply dissatified and cause lots of collateral damage(and bad karma). Of course, for guys that have social anxiety and fear of doing approaches in general, keep approaching,. Do it regardless and just focus on fun, friendly, and casually flirty conversations. Once you get more comfortable approaching, you'll realize that the best nights are when you have high libido and your best sets are going to be when you really like a girl. Not kinda like, really like, like she's literally your prefect girl and it's impossible for you not to talk to her. Like just seeing her sends you into a flow state and you make a b-line for her, or maybe she's already giving signals and subtly approaching you.

Just to illustrate, this is the way it will look(based on my experience): You don't hesitate with the approach, nor do you force it, because she seems familiar. She may have already sent you signals because the attraction is palpable. She can see your desire for her in your eyes. It's not creepy or needy, it's confident and effortless. If you got over your anxieties, your verbals will be effortless. You'll find it hard not to look deep into her eyes. You'll be touching her shoulder, arm, hips, etc. and you'll be naturally standing close to her all without thinking. Of course, it's mutual, she's make excuses to touch you too. You are already synced up to her energy and body language. It's like you've done this dance before. "Game" goes out the window, you're just flirting effortlessly with this girl you literally can't take your eyes off of. You make some mistakes but neither of you care, because this is what it looks like to be vulnerable and authentic. There is this feeling of safety and detachment. You're totally in the moment and because you're in the moment you're not needy. There is no future relationship hanging in the balance. She's here now. You're sharing this moment. You two are open to wherever it leads. Talking to her was the easiest and most rewarding point of the night. Why? Because you're congruent. You can't fake interest, attraction, or sexual desire. 

If a set doesn't feel like that, she ain't it. Don't beat up on yourself if none of your "sets" "hooked" or if you didn't "get the close" or "get the lay". You're "failures" in game are mutual. She wasn't it for you and so you couldn't be your natural charming self, you had to fake your interest to some degree, or you sabotaged because you two weren't in alignment. Maybe you have more inner work to take care of. Keep practicing so when you do meet a girl you really are interested in, you have the confidence and experience to be ready. Frame it all as learning and growth: every night out, every conversation, every "failure", every inevitable success. Trust that if it is meant to be it will be but if it isn't, it never was. Take notes, do deliberate practice, but have a short memory. I've also reallized that if you don't have something, it's because you actually don't want it. Ask yourself deeply "Am I willing to take action to increase my chances of meeting my perfect girl?", "What actions do I have to take?", "Do I actually want to find my dream girl?", "What am I giving up when/if I do find her?", " Why am I resisting a loving relationship?".

Finally, when it comes to solving low libido, make sure your diet is in order, you are exercising somewhat regularly, and your stress levels are down. Also, make sure you are living towards you purpose. For me, I realized that I wasn't exercising enough, I was eating too many carbs, not eating enough healthy fats, and most important, I was out of alignment with my purpose. Let's see what changes I can make and what happens.

Hope this is helpful, please let me know what experiences you've had and if you agree or disagree with. I appreciate any and all feedback.

Keep the faith!

[Ulax]

@Caoimhin Yes, I find it can be difficult to fake these sorts of things too. One of the conclusions i came to on my own journey was that an incredible amount of game is simply sub communications. I.e. you will unconsciously be communicating all sorts of messages to each other during an interaction. For example, we all have mirror neurons that are constantly pinging and processing what other people's emotional states are. Hence, the sort of rsd mantra of 'what you feel she feels'. Its this sort of learning that actually got me into deeper, inner personal development work.

Also, if you want a tip, I read a book from a guy called AG Avery who recommended the following practice for increasing sexual desire. Essentially, each day sit down and visualize yourself going out, interacting with, then having sex with girls you are attracted too.

That said, I think the more one sees themselves as a sex worthy guy, and has more optimistic beliefs, libido rises naturally.

I'm sort of lower intermediate in terms of my game journey so far in life. So i only have i'd say a moderate level of direct experience with the above being true. But yeah hope this helps dude.

Edit: Also, I think somatic meditations can help with this cultivating more sexual energy, i.e. yoga nidra

Edited July 1, 2023 by Ulax
See 'Edit:'

[Leo Gura]

@Caoimhin Obviously

Nothing beats authenticity. You can feel it and she's a better feeler than you.

Passion is key to charisma. Why else are you attracted to me

Edited July 1, 2023 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

Back in the day people didn’t need to learn game because all they need was the sexual impulse which is kundalini up. That is why the sexual component has been important in every major religion: it is the most powerful force man yields. Any ghuru who doesn’t include sexuality within his spirituality shouldn’t be taken serious. 

Edited July 2, 2023 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

Back in the day nobody needed game cause there was just authentic all-natural organic rape.

But people are woke crybabies these days so you can't rape no more and must use charm instead.

Edited July 2, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Vrubel]

@Caoimhin 

12 hours ago, Caoimhin said:

The insight is that interest can't be faked and sexual intent can't be forced. No amount of game will solve this, and if you figure out how to manipulate your way around this, you'll be deeply dissatified and cause lots of collateral damage(and bad karma).

Great insight! Guess you're doomed to only approach girls that are hot and genuinely excite you(;

Explore your masculinity and libido, and have that stuff in check and under control. That is what makes the man. 
Also, don't be obsessed with the libido part, it's not everything but if you really want libido just masturbate a bit and don't cum. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Game teaches that you look beyond looks and sex so i would disagree,if your intent is to have only sex with a girl then you failed the game...

If you look game from surface level ofcourse looks=making you influenced to be better version of yourself but deeper game=influencing yourself not basing around her looks and sex...

But if you want surface level then you are right...

[nhoktinvt]

@NoSelfSelf i'm assuming you're a friendly guy 

[NoSelfSelf]

@nhoktinvt Elaborate, because im selective to who i invest time in so i could seem as not friendly at all...

[Spiral]

While I agree with most of what you said.

There is a qualitative difference with what one might call “natural game” and “learned game” in this regard to this. With the former you just naturally attract girls, even you don’t try or desire them.

While I recognize this probably sounds terribly braggy, it actually creates issues and is often a disadvantage.

[StarStruck]

If you want to learn real natural game you have to observe young teenage chads. They are untainted by game and how things should be. It is just pure sexual impulse and masculinity. It is hard to explain. Last week I had the privilege to observe it while waiting for an appointment. The best way I can describe it is like this: It is bad boyism with a wink. 

[Vrubel]

@StarStruck While I see your point and of course you don't want to be a meek nice guy or overly serious. I would say that mature game as done by a mature man is done respectfully and calmly. You don't have to act like some hyperactive teenage bad boy to get girls. Your strong presence should be enough of a base to get the girl into a hypersensitive state. Then you can interact "normally" and the slightest of things will hugely stimulate her. 

But I am speaking from my experience, I myself am authentically very calm and I almost exclusively date highly feminine Eastern European women, maybe for more masculine girls you need to be more of a "loud obnoxious" guy.

[Caoimhin]

@Ulax I appreciate the reply man, good tip, I've been doing some visualization with vision boards, but never actually visualized the whole process including sex. That sounds powerful, like a good way to rewire the brain to always lead it to that end point, plus builds up that feeling of being sex worthy you mentioned.

I'll have to try that somatic mediation, been meaning to add more sexual yoga into my practice. 

[Caoimhin]

@Vrubel thanks for the feed back, yeah I guess I am lol gotta move somewhere with a greater volume of attractive women, maybe vegas lol

I definitely have to balance out my masculine, all the spiritual stuff I've been doing has shifted me too much into my feminine. Trying to hit the gym more too. Good point, obessing isn't helpful. 

[Caoimhin]

@NoSelfSelf That's true, but looks can also tell you a lot about a person, if she is in good shape and is well put together then she probably has a healthier self-esteem. I know for me, working out regularly, eating healthy, getting nice cloths and learning how to dress well, all takes work, research, and care. If i stubbornly refused to do that, and i still do to some degree, I'm sending a signal that I'm not very socially calibrated, or that this is the level of effort I'm willing to put in(if I'm lazy in these areas, where else might I be lazy?). A girl who doesn't put that effort in her health and appearance might have some issue that is more than jsut a surface level issue. Also, what I'm talking about includes her energy. Some girls aren't conventionally 10/10 but you're just so drawn to them or think they are so interesting because of their energy, which can also be seen in their body language and even their body structure. Physical appearance can say a lot about a person and we can intuitively pick up on it. Then again, I do agree, you are right because a lot can be hidden too. That being true, you're still not going to talk to a girl you aren't attracted to just because of the chance you might match personality wise. And if you do match, then, chances are you still aren't attracted to them even after that fact. Attraction isn't a choice in that sense, though that's just my experience, everyone's experience is different. 

[Caoimhin]

@Leo Gura thanks for the reply. For sure, it's all honest signals.