Taking in the thrill of passion instead of building LTRs ?

[pogspartan]

I'm currently having my first romantic interactions with a woman, I've made it clear that I'm uncertain where things are going to go and that I just want to take in the present enjoyment. I'm wondering if LTRs can add to the fullfilment one gets out of life and the present moment, as the passion starts to die down, even if you love your partner wouldn't it be worth considering moving on to reignite that passion with someone else and maybe with that previous partner down the road who knows ?

And beyond the passion for a romantic relationship, keeping that fire and that passion for life and all that love surrounding you at all times seems like one of the most sensibles way one may live his life, I guess you could still feel that in a LTR, I'm just afraid that the expectations and the territory that comes with such a relationship would make it more difficult. I'm guessing it's a matter of trade-off and everybody may find what he recognizes himself in the most ?

 

What do you guys think of this ?

[Ajax]

A good relationship is very intimate and personal. You need to feel your partner. You will not get the same experience behind a computer screen.

[Spiral]

A common trap guys often fall for is that they invest too much in the early stages. This creates a expectation, that once you get comfortable you’ll struggle to maintain.

On the other hand you actually need to spend time to maintaining your relationship. Having sex and hanging out is not good enough.

Edited June 29, 2023 by Spiral

[Ajax]

5 hours ago, pogspartan said:

What do you guys think of this ?

Attach a pocket P***y on the computer screen and you have a date! Oh yeah, don't forget the candles and romantic music.

[hyruga]

People always suffer. Those who has ltr suffer from lack of short term passion and vice versa. Transcend your mind.

[pogspartan]

7 hours ago, Spiral said:

A common trap guys often fall for is that they invest too much in the early stages. This creates a expectation, that once you get comfortable you’ll struggle to maintain.

On the other hand you actually need to spend time to maintaining your relationship. Having sex and hanging out is not good enough.

How far do you maintain these relationships is my question, well rather where I’d ask for some opinions as it is interesting. It’s easy to get stuck with the programming society fed us that you need to find the one, build a family with children and spend the rest of your life in that situation.

In the end this might be the most sensible and fullfilling life choice for many people but I do think it’s interesting and worth debating that it may not be, especially in today’s society where bonds don’t seem to be as strong and where the social pressure to actually stay with one partner is almost non existent (in the west)

[pogspartan]

1 hour ago, hyruga said:

People always suffer. Those who has ltr suffer from lack of short term passion and vice versa. Transcend your mind.

True but suffering does not prevent truth and love once one is awaken to it, romantic relationships are very interesting imo because they have the power to bring passion that is hard to find elsewhere, would chasing this passion bring you further from true awakening, peace and love, that is supposedly something even more transcending that one can experience ?

[mr_engineer]

Don't have LTR as a dating-objective. Have friends-with-benefits arrangements as a dating-objective. Cuz it seems like that's what you actually want. You want to be able to have semi-consistent sex with different people because those specific people 'ignite your passion', i.e. you are very driven to get the 'benefits' with really attractive people. 

This is not the psychology of someone who wants an LTR. People who want an LTR are not doing it just for the honeymoon-phase. It's not sexual desire that drives the formation of LTRs. It's the desire for a family. A lot of people who want LTRs want to be done with dating, because dating is a means to an end. It's not a lot of fun to move from one person to the next, because your hopes of having a family with the previous person are dashed in that process. It's emotionally difficult to replace people in your dating-life if you want an LTR. 'Dating' sucks for them, in fact. (Dating = the process of going out with someone, seeing whether it works or not, reaching a dead-end with the person you're dealing with and having to move on and find someone else and learn from the mistakes of the previous failure) It takes a lot of mind-training and learning to be objective to make the right relationship-decisions for such people, they're prone to screw up more because the stakes are higher and it takes more wisdom to do the right thing. 

[pogspartan]

5 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

Don't have LTR as a dating-objective. Have friends-with-benefits arrangements as a dating-objective. Cuz it seems like that's what you actually want. You want to be able to have semi-consistent sex with different people because those specific people 'ignite your passion', i.e. you are very driven to get the 'benefits' with really attractive people. 

This is not the psychology of someone who wants an LTR. People who want an LTR are not doing it just for the honeymoon-phase. It's not sexual desire that drives the formation of LTRs. It's the desire for a family. A lot of people who want LTRs want to be done with dating, because dating is a means to an end. It's not a lot of fun to move from one person to the next, because your hopes of having a family with the previous person are dashed in that process. It's emotionally difficult to replace people in your dating-life if you want an LTR. 'Dating' sucks for them, in fact. (Dating = the process of going out with someone, seeing whether it works or not, reaching a dead-end with the person you're dealing with and having to move on and find someone else and learn from the mistakes of the previous failure) It takes a lot of mind-training and learning to be objective to make the right relationship-decisions for such people, they're prone to screw up more because the stakes are higher and it takes more wisdom to do the right thing. 

Very interesting, thanks. This basically all translates to the question of whether one wants to build a family or not and sees it as the step to take in his life, which is a very interesting and tough question i think