Seeking Advice: Balancing desire for other women and commitment to a good partner

[Read]

Hi All,

I am in a predicament and would greatly appreciate your wisdom and insights. As a follower of philosophy and self actualisation, I am torn between two conflicting desires: the inclination to explore relationships with other women and the desire to remain in a relationship to my current partner, who is an amazing person and has no fault for me feeling this way. Part of the issue is I get a lot of attention from women so this feeds my ego, lust (potentially) and makes me “fear missing out”.

I am really struggling with this whereas in all other aspects I feel I can really apply a level headed way of thinking and mostly lead a tranquil lifestyle. I would really appreciate  your thoughts on what advice you would offer in this situation. How can I apply the right mindset / principles to find clarity and make sure I am applying the right rationale and reason to my thoughts?

Thank you

[Ajax]

Polyamory and Monogomy do not mix, it is not a match. Move on. If you can't leave your partner, don't be promiscuous.

If the urge is too strong, you must leave. Being an Adult is doing what you know you have to do. 

You have character defects, build your character.

Edited June 28, 2023 by Ajax

[Yimpa]

It sounds to me like you have a partner who is exceptionally mature and is open to you feeding immature behaviors. It’s not because she wants you to be lost forever, but because she wants you to figure out for yourself what is right. 

[mr_engineer]

As tempting as it is for me to say that 'you have a good relationship, don't ruin it by thinking with your dick', that's not the reality. The reality is that your relationship is suboptimal at best, you're not happy with it the way it is. Your relationship has to change in some way. 

What you have to do, is you have to figure out what you're hoping will happen if you 'explore relationships with other women'. And, figure out a way to make that happen in your existing relationship. Talk to your partner and see what she can do to accommodate all of you in the relationship, not just the parts of you that make the relationship work the way it is right now. 

Also, if the idea of doing this scares you, chances are that you're struggling with codependency. And that your relationship isn't as amazing as you think it is. Then, you absolutely should face your fear of breaking up the relationship and take seriously the possibility of exploring the dating-scene. There are some really amazing and conscious people out there. You look at what's keeping you with an incompatible person and work on that, then you break up and you go out in search of what you actually want. 

Edited June 28, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1S03yRaJwc