Procrastination Is Ruining My Life

[Kriz]

Hey guys, I've been dealing with this problem for a while now and it's becoming crippling in my life. I will try to keep this post short and as positive as possible. I've know about actualized.org(youtube) for about a year now. I've stumbled upon it when I was having a depressive episode in my life which was also a bit caused by procrastination. I've been doing meditation for 30 mins everyday for about 8 months, with a few weeks where i didn't.

 

This year I'm doing my master degree in graphic design and I have done nothing but procrastination, i simply can't help myself. The last couple of month's have been the worst. I basically have all the depression symptoms again and I can't find any joy in life anymore. I feel empty and guilty all the time, like a real piece of garbage. I used to go out every weekend to parties and such but I punished myself to not go out anymore to expect myself to start working for school in the weekends. Now I pretty much isolated myself from social contact and it's really noticeable on my psyche.

I haven't started with Leo's Life Purpose course yet, only saw it a couple of days ago on his site. A few years ago I thought I discovered my life purpose. I used to be an electrician and I suddenly made the decision to do something with my life. When I was a kid I used to draw all day long and have a blast with it. Eventually I started Graphic design/illustration in college and for the first time in a long while I felt like I was actually doing something in my life. After a few years in college I experienced these situations for a few times where i worked hard towards a big assignment where i had to start all over in just a few weeks. I eventually struggled through it and barely passed those years but I somehow cracked. After that I really started to procrastinate hard but before I didn't have such a hard time with it. Every time i try to draw or create something I get these emotions and such that are just crippling me. My ego is pretty much talking me out of it every time i try to do it. It is giving me this idea that all the effort is not worth it since i will fail anyway. It's my personality to make something perfect from the first time and the fear for failure and showing everyone around me that I'm not as good as I should be that is stopping me. Ironically now I have jack shit to show and I am showing people I suck and I'm a failure. I have only a couple of months to produce something to pass this year and somewhere deep down I know I can do it. I just know it! But it's this duality inside me that is stopping me and trying to quit before the battle is lost. Many of you have probably been there and I was wondering how some of you have gotten out of this pit and climbed back onto the mountain. I watched Leo's videos about procrastination and how awareness is curative and they helped a bit but not enough for me to get out of this rut.

 

Thanks for reading

 

[egoeimai]

I was dealing with this shit for a long time. If you manage to shift your mood from bad to better throughout the day,you will catch yourself being more creative and uplifted and in general interested to do things,and having more energy and courage to do things that before were such a chore! Its all about having the abillity to feel good. As long as you care about how you feel,everything will be fine.

P.s. more information you will find from Abraham Esther Hicks. 

Cheerz.

[tashawoodfall]

I think procrastination is like not a real thing

[egoeimai]

@tashawoodfall sooooooo true! I thought it was. What a silly thing. Its been a long time since I believed in psychologists. I only can relate to Abe now.

(Abraham Esther Hicks) -not a cult-nor a religion.

[tashawoodfall]

yeah i like her too: my fav below

 

 

[eskwire]

@Kriz I had a depressive episode that I snapped out of about 6 weeks ago and realized, "Holy shit, I need to finish school! I have a final project!!"

I made myself produce one page per day for my final paper and did it for 30 consecutive days. 

I'm getting my Master's degree too and wondering if I'll even use the thing. I somewhat regret it. But, I used this 30 day challenge as personal development homework to face my procrastination demon. It was a great experience that really pulled my self-esteem out of the gutter. Highly recommend something similar. 

[Kriz]

2 hours ago, tashawoodfall said:

I think procrastination is like not a real thing

I felt a little excitement in my belly when i first read this sentence ^^

31 minutes ago, eskwire said:

@Kriz I had a depressive episode that I snapped out of about 6 weeks ago and realized, "Holy shit, I need to finish school! I have a final project!!"

I made myself produce one page per day for my final paper and did it for 30 consecutive days. 

I'm getting my Master's degree too and wondering if I'll even use the thing. I somewhat regret it. But, I used this 30 day challenge as personal development homework to face my procrastination demon. It was a great experience that really pulled my self-esteem out of the gutter. Highly recommend something similar. 

It's "nice" to hear someone is going through the same thing. I also doubt the value of the degree, especially in arts. I just want to make my parents proud and I know I can do it.

2 hours ago, egoeimai said:

I was dealing with this shit for a long time. If you manage to shift your mood from bad to better throughout the day,you will catch yourself being more creative and uplifted and in general interested to do things,and having more energy and courage to do things that before were such a chore! Its all about having the abillity to feel good. As long as you care about how you feel,everything will be fine.

P.s. more information you will find from Abraham Esther Hicks. 

Cheerz.

Yeah, being able to change your mood seems like a gamechanger. Getting excited about the whole thing would change so much. But sadly I'm still beating myself down about it. I just caught myself saying "Fck I still haven't done anything, I'm such a loser." I need to be more kind to myself. Maybe I need to look in the mirror and say some kind motivating words haha. 

[Kriz]

6 minutes ago, blazed said:

As an artist myself, who has major procastination problems on and off, I find most of my motivation problems stem from being at home, working on my computer isolated from everyone else, getting too comfortable with my situation, and becoming lazy through maintaining lifestyle.

If you can force yourself to stay at the school library/classes, like a rule (can't leave until certain time, etc) I think it will be easier to get work done, some environments are just much better, and seeing people around you working can also motivate you.

Excercising, meditating, self love, dropping bad habits, reading productivity books have all failed to provide me the same kick up the ass that walking into an office environment has done.

Yeah i think that has some truth to it. The problem with that is that i work digitally with a drawing tablet. I hook up my external display to my laptop at home because working on a 15 inch monitor just blows. At school I don't see anyone work, I don't even see my classmates artwork actually. The system at school is just a feedback session every week where you discuss your progress with the teacher. A few years ago my mate came over to my place and we would work on our own creative stuff in the same place. I did get a lot more work done. But that changed since he moved to the city haha. 

[Kriz]

6 minutes ago, blazed said:

Damn...

My g/f is an artist too, and she just started uni where she does 6 hours of live model drawings a day, ever since she started she's been very productive, and my productivity has gone down because I'm unable to keep up with her work load...

If you have a spare room in the house, turn it into an office, hang some inspirtational posters, make sure you have no internet, no distracting apps/games, put a not on the door that you promise to commit to work and not leave the room for certain hour of the day, bring water.

I think people like us (well at least me) need some hard disciplines, not pep talks,  Abraham Esther Hicks does nothing for me, except put me into a spiritual mind, my spiritual mind is not one who wants to get shit done, because my spiritual mind does not "seek" getting things done, it's just content with being the polar opposite of that is what wants to get things done.

Oh man you sound too much like myself, minus the girlfriend

[egoeimai]

@tashawoodfall thank you! Good morning!

[West]

Sounds tough! I'm currently working on my procrastination too.

I would first advise you to make sure that what you are trying to do is your life purpose. You can feel resistance as you do now, but I think it should be something that you love to do once you get started. 

I don't have a lot of experience with this yet, but taking action in small steps initially can help you overcome your fear of work (AKA procrastination). Commit 15 minutes every day to your work. If that's too much to bear, do 5 minutes. If that's too much, 2 minutes.

You do it for as short as necessary, but you must do it every day. Then, perhaps, your mind will eventually understand that the work isn't something that needs to be feared.

Here's an article about this:

 https://zenhabits.net/do/

[ctro]

Your university probably has resources that you can use, such as a student psychologist. I can really recommend using these resources.