Belief Buster Regarding The External World

[Gopackgo]

@FirstglimpseOMG Yes I have the same experience. I'm saying that inserting a belief puts an idea between awareness and what is. So, I am just wary of inserting a belief based on anything other than what I have experienced first hand. I mean really, what is the self if not a collection of conceptual beliefs that is the middle man between you (awareness) and reality. It projects itself into the reality, or it twists reality based on previously held beliefs. Therefore, trying to measure it by reconciling it with my previous scientific beliefs is counter productive. That naturally happens when I start reading others experiences and I star identifying with those beliefs because I think they are cool, or they fit into my other thoughts.  Its really subtle, when it happens to, anytime I start to "want" something to be true, I am asking: who wants it to be true? Because awareness doesn't want, it drives and creates.

Honestly it is hard for me to explain.

[FirstglimpseOMG]

@Gopackgo I hear ya on it being hard to put this stuff into words.

I know where you're going with the thoughts that you don't want to skew raw reality by looking at objects through any sort of distortion (webs of beliefs and concepts), and that you just want to be able to experience reality just as it is. 

I'm saying that despite how impossible, goofy, counter-intuitive or downright wrong it seems, there's no 'out there'.  There are no objects. There's no you. No body, no mind, and whatever the supposed 'you' is perceiving.. is being created as it's being perceived... as perception only. As perception itself. 

By awareness, from awareness, AS awareness. (To paraphrase Rupert Spira)

Awareness only. Awareness dreams up a universe so it can experience some-thing as well as no-thing. Awareness is no-thing and knows itself as awareness, infinity, an empty void. Eternal. It does not begin and does not end. It simply is existence. Being infinite, it cannot have any form or dimension. That would be a limit and there are simply no limits involved here. No boundaries. No beginning, no end.

Awareness cannot simply evoke objects to experience because it is not possible for there to be a break, or a space within, or a place in which any-THING might appear.. in unlimited boundless infinity... as a limited object. Even the space the object would need to appear in so the object could exist, would have certain qualities, certain elements of constant change. This cannot happen in infinity. I guess that's infinity's only limit - it, as infinity, can only know itself. Can only 'know'... of itself.

So infinity gets all creative and falls asleep to itself. Infinity forgets itself as infinity by falling asleep as infinity and a dream emerges now, that can be known by infinity, the void, God, Source, whatever your label. Billions of finite minds emerge within this dream as differentiated, individuated beings, all literally, with a different point of view. A different vantage point within this dream-world, from which sleeping infinity has a chance for experiences other than the experience only of itself. THAT is life. THAT is existence. THAT is us. This is what Leo means when he says you don't exist. He doesn't just mean the ego that emerges as a personality for each 'person', he means literally; You don't actually exist. You're an object in a dream as long as you don't realize that 'you' and what 'you' experience is only infinity, using 'your' finite 'mind' to experience the life (dream) it created. When 'you' become lucid within the dream, 'reality' breaks, and the journey back home begins. The journey back home is not just ego dissolution for the objects (us) within the dream.. by becoming more and more lucid that we are a dream only and all that 'we' perceive is within this dream too, we are infinity, or Awareness, or the void, or Source, waking up within it's dream, realizing it's a dream, and by virtue of this happening, beginning to experience itself from yet another perspective, the perspectives of it's 'selves', within it's dream. It's existence waking up to itself from that different angle. 

It all (we, our thoughts, our sensations, our feelings and perceptions, and the sure feeling that we are separate and diverse objects in a world of diverse and separate objects) are all appearances, within an infinite dream.

We don't bloody exist. We're characters in the most convincing play there ever was.  

THAT'S the 'one universal consciousness' thang.

THAT'S the 'why are we fighting, there's no us and them, we're all one' thang.

THAT'S why most folks are really naive realists that think that this 'consensus reality' is the shit. 

I hope I didn't screw this up. 

Lemme know if I screwed this up.

It's still very 'surfacy' isn't it, my explanation. I think the coolest thing about existing only as a character in a dreamt reality is that if you are in a magic world and know it, you get to play with the magic a little differently than the folks that have not busted 'consensus' reality.

If you're an utterly convincing character in a play, and you remember that it's only a play after initially forgetting that and feeling stuck as the one character, well now, you get to direct the play as never before if you like, and even do that as different characters within the play. More and more you are quite content to opt out of the seriousness and intensity of playing a character in such a  convincing, all consuming production, and you just go sit in the stands, watching the whole thing unfold and loving the shit out of it even more because you are not distracted by being required to participate in this dramatic production.

[Gopackgo]

You didn't screw it up lol.  I appreciate you taking the time to type that out for me. My issue is that I have read that so many places, and have wanted it so bad, that I am just resetting a little bit to make sure that I am not adopting any beliefs, and that I am learning via my direct experience. Just going back to basics in terms of how I need to go about better understanding myself. I know that If i am rationalizing things to make it work into a model (even if I really want the model), then I am not leaving myself open to true experience.  I got away from being mindful of my thought process, and my thoughts were getting out of control, and something clicked in my mind that made me think: "Why are you trying to force fit things into a model that you are trying to discover through direct experience?" It was one of those moments where I was thinking about all the reasons science had made mistakes, and realized that the scientific oversights I was bashing in my mind where products of the same processes I was using  analyze them. More importantly, all that thinking was pulling me out of the moment. It was a good learning experience. There's no need for me to keep up with teachers' experiences, getting to wherever I am supposed to be in terms of learning is the whole point. I need to let awareness guide me and not monkey mind.

I am still going to research, but I'm going to do it in a way that doesnt consume me. The best way for me to learn is how I had been before starting to read it all - meditation and being.

[Mohammad]

@Gopackgo  You are completely right.and I have to say that Leo helped me a lot in becoming aware of the difference between thinking about something and experiencing it.keep watching his videos,you might get pretty useful insights.

[Gopackgo]

2 minutes ago, Mohammad said:

@Gopackgo  You are completely right.and I have to say that Leo helped me a lot in becoming aware of the difference between thinking about something and experiencing it.keep watching his videos,you might get pretty useful insights.

I've seen most of them. I have transitioned from the enlightenment ones (as well as with the other teachers I watch) and am now focusing on anything that will give me insight into thought processes so I can see them and work on them. My mind is pretty silent at this point, but anything that will make me aware of specific thought processes is invaluable. Leo's channel is maybe the best resource for that on the internet. Any other channels would be appreciated. Also, I am in law school, and it is so valuable for doing this. All we do all day is consider multiple perspectives which most of the time have equal legal justification. Too be honest, I have kind of lost the ability to just make up my mind about them. I prefer to be given a side to argue, and then just argue that. But I think that the experience of the humiliating and humbling experiences of law school, as well as the requirement to constantly switch sides to argue provides such an opportunity to be conscious of my mind processes and also showed me how anxiety works and how ego can fuck me. On top of that, I also have the opportunity to practice concentration meditation for an extra 3-6 hours a day as my teachers lecture. I think this was a huge catalyst for me, and I was starting to fall back into that conflicted state of belief identification, only the new subject was Buddhism. I appreciate all of you because this thread helped get me back on track. I feel as though I am purely objective (in relation to the the legal issues) when I am most silent minded. It's pretty freaking useful.

 My wife cannot understand how someone can function without thinking. I tell her that assigning language to feelings and instincts in your mind is completely unnecessary until you interact with something/someone that requires it. It actually makes way more sense when you think about it. But she will come along, I just have to keep working on her. Her assumption I believe is that if you don't think once, you never think or something. She also is assuming that letting go of old beliefs and external reality makes you lose some fundamental part of yourself. Everything is still accessible, but for me it just seems pointless to constantly be consumed in them until relevant. It's all good though, if she never wants to pursue it, I still love her deeply and some of the things I have shared with her over the course of my awakening would freak most people out. I just mention this because I see her in pain sometimes, and I am and always have been super empathetic. But it is so difficult to explain some of the things to her. I feel for Leo and Emerald, and respect them for the effort they put in to help people awaken. Both are so practical and applicable, and that is a rarity in regards to enlightenment work.

[Mohammad]

@Gopackgo All we can do is love people around us.We can help them to become more aware of their mind and their life,but unfortunately sometimes it's hard for people to understand some deep truths because of their heavily conditioned mind.But this shouldnt make us to reduce our connection with them or act carelessly towards them.All we can do is love,and one that can love everything,is a true spiritual person.

1 hour ago, Gopackgo said:

She also is assuming that letting go of old beliefs and external reality makes you lose some fundamental part of yourself.

I believe her assumption is right.Losing a part of this old self is what we are shooting for!Because,maybe,this old self is flawed.

[Gopackgo]

7 hours ago, Mohammad said:

@Gopackgo All we can do is love people around us.We can help them to become more aware of their mind and their life,but unfortunately sometimes it's hard for people to understand some deep truths because of their heavily conditioned mind.But this shouldnt make us to reduce our connection with them or act carelessly towards them.All we can do is love,and one that can love everything,is a true spiritual person.

I believe her assumption is right.Losing a part of this old self is what we are shooting for!Because,maybe,this old self is flawed.

I tell her that although it may feel that way, in reality we are finally finding ourself.

[FirstglimpseOMG]

When you really have the chance to listen to to this audio meditation with Rupert Spira, I highly, highly recommend it. Lots of pauses for reflection stretch it out.. but the clarity and truth conveyed is worth.. ...it's pure gold! 

I'm quite familiar with Rupert Spira's teachings through many many many videos, just got this one into me & it's gotta be top 3. I'm always thankful I chose to watch a Spira video, and always a little more lovingly awake.