Am I the only one who's really struggling on dates?

[The0Self]

44 minutes ago, Raze said:

…You literally recommend John Anthony, who has been proven to use prostitutes to lie about his lay count and scam and harass students lol

Open your eyes or not. I can’t make you. He could be a serial killer for all I care. I’ve heard him talk about the game — he knows how it’s done. If you have game, you’ll be able to tell as well.

[Kid A]

6 hours ago, Felliks said:

40 dates mate you definitely don't have fun.

I usually have fun on my dates. When I go home, on the other hand, and just know that no matter how good i think it all went (with a lot of laughter, kissing etc.) she most likely doesn't want to see me again and definitely not sleep with me. That's hell. Out of all the 60-70 girls I've gone out with, I've only slept with one who I didn't sleep with on the first date. In my experience it's absolutely not worth asking for a second date if nothing sexual happens on the first.

[Raze]

1 hour ago, Kid A said:

I usually have fun on my dates. When I go home, on the other hand, and just know that no matter how good i think it all went (with a lot of laughter, kissing etc.) she most likely doesn't want to see me again and definitely not sleep with me. That's hell. Out of all the 60-70 girls I've gone out with, I've only slept with one who I didn't sleep with on the first date. In my experience it's absolutely not worth asking for a second date if nothing sexual happens on the first.

https://www.girlschase.com/article/planning-first-second-date

https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date

https://www.girlschase.com/content/11-mistakes-ruin-first-dates-and-how-not-make-them

https://www.girlschase.com/content/date-templates-minimize-confusion-maximize-returns

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-first-date-sex-girls-every-date

 

Edited November 8, 2023 by Raze

[The0Self]

2 hours ago, Kid A said:

I usually have fun on my dates. When I go home, on the other hand, and just know that no matter how good i think it all went (with a lot of laughter, kissing etc.) she most likely doesn't want to see me again and definitely not sleep with me. That's hell. Out of all the 60-70 girls I've gone out with, I've only slept with one who I didn't sleep with on the first date. In my experience it's absolutely not worth asking for a second date if nothing sexual happens on the first.

Respectfully, you don’t have the experience to make that judgement call. Tons of girls have a 3 date rule and unless you’re very smooth and in the flow you might not get them horny enough to break it. Once you’re confident that you already got the girl it can be better than half of girls closing on first date even if you’re average and not that experienced. Closer to 80% when you’re very experienced. Even if you’re perfect, at least 1-2 out of 10 girls will not agree to sex on first date.

[Yimpa]

Knowing yourself is key here. Women can smell inauthenticity like a hawk. If you’re being inauthentic, you’re either going to have a short-term relationship, a shallow one, or no one at all.

[lostingenosmaze]

On 11/7/2023 at 2:41 PM, Kid A said:

I was diagnosed with Asperger's today. I guess the mystery is finally solved...

How did you get diagnosed?

[Yimpa]

On 11/7/2023 at 4:41 PM, Kid A said:

I was diagnosed with Asperger's today. I guess the mystery is finally solved...

Having an autistic girlfriend is going to be hella beautiful then 

Or take my lead and have multiple autistic relationships 

Edited November 9, 2023 by Yimpa

[Kid A]

6 hours ago, lostingenosmaze said:

How did you get diagnosed?

I’ve been evaluated at a hospital for several months.

[Rafael Thundercat]

No, I am also struggling on Dates, Peanusts and Almonds. Maybe I will eat more fruit instead.

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, Kid A said:

I’ve been evaluated at a hospital for several months.

Autism is extremely complex. Try not to get too hung up on the stereotypes of what it is or let others project onto you what they think you are based on their assumptions.

I’d recommend seeing a therapist who specializes with people on the autism spectrum to help guide you on discovering your authentic self. Realize that most, if not all, self-help and dating advice is geared towards neurotypical folks. When you are more grounded and understanding of your neurodiversity, you can take self-help advice and customize it to your own unique needs. But for now, it’s crucial you have a deep understanding of yourself first, beyond what society and culture has conditioned you with.

[Kid A]

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Realize that most, if not all, self-help and dating advice is geared towards neurotypical folks. When you are more grounded and understanding of your neurodiversity, you can take self-help advice and customize it to your own unique needs. But for now, it’s crucial you have a deep understanding of yourself first, beyond what society and culture has conditioned you with.

Makes a lot of sense! This must be the reason why all the dating advises I try to apply usually backfire, even though I try to balance them with authenticity. I also have a hard time relating to some of the struggles many guys seem to deal with, like for example being perceived as too nice by women. 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Kid A said:

I also have a hard time relating to some of the struggles many guys seem to deal with, like for example being perceived as too nice by women

One way to look at it - are you are able to identify red (or even yellow) flags in your relationships? Do you set appropriate boundaries in response to those signals?

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Kid A said:

I also have a hard time relating to some of the struggles many guys seem to deal with, like for example being perceived as too nice by women. 

Another perspective. A woman will test you in implicit ways. She’ll see if you’re able to think for yourself and be your own person. Or are you putting on a facade that’s meant to keep her attention on you because you fear that she’ll get bored of you?

[The0Self]

3 hours ago, Kid A said:

Makes a lot of sense! This must be the reason why all the dating advises I try to apply usually backfire, even though I try to balance them with authenticity. I also have a hard time relating to some of the struggles many guys seem to deal with, like for example being perceived as too nice by women. 

If you’re not getting laid, you’re almost certainly being perceived as too nice. Nice doesn’t mean kind. Nice means you’re worried about offending her, as if she’s some delicate flower that can’t take offense. Nice = disrespect, in the eyes of women, for better or for worse. But kindness is still the pinnacle of values, as well as value, which women respond to very strongly and positively.

It’s not serious anyway, so who cares if she’s offended? You’re just being yourself. — is actually not only how you should act if you want to get laid, but how she wants you to act if she’s going to like you a lot.

If you do offend her, calibrate after the fact, but do so unapologetically, as it wasn’t serious anyway. Anything serious is pussy repellant.

Edited November 9, 2023 by The0Self

[flowboy]

On 24/06/2023 at 3:09 PM, Kid A said:

They will usually be very eager to talk about dry topics such as studies and interests, but if I for example flirtatiously tell them something I like about them, they will be like: "Thank you," and look uncomfortable.

1. If they feel the need to say "thank you", you've left a silence after your compliment, don't do that it feels uncomfortable.

2. My guess is that your issue is just that you're not kissing them. Why? They're on a date with you, you communicated interest and they didn't leave. Ergo, they expect you to make a move.

If you have an okay conversation, flirt a bit and don't make a move, they'll unconsciously label you as a pussy and not want to go on a second date.

On the other hand, if you make a move and they back away, that's good, you've shown that you're not a pussy, so don't address it just talk over it, as long as they don't leave, you can try again in 5-10 minutes.

I've never been a pickup star but my dates have basically always gone well, this is why.

Edited November 10, 2023 by flowboy