Alright folks, in celebration of my 1000th post on this forum I have decided to let you all know once and for all who's the real BOSS in here. - So, without further ado... this is how this works: 1. I am Awake (notice the capital A), you are asleep. I am Enlightened (again, capital E), you are deluded. I am Annointed, you are retarded. I am a Sage. you are an idiot. 2. Since I am the only one on here who is awake - err, I mean, Awake, or rather AWAKE - no wait, make that AWAKE -, I have nothing to learn from you. In fact, I have nothing more to learn in this life PERIOD. You, on the other hand, have everything to learn from me. All of you are totally clueless about this whole Awakening thing; I am the only one in this b!tch who knows what's up. 3. I have completely and utterly transcended all egoic delusions, personal limitations and conceptual thinking. That's why I can confidently say that I am lightyears ahead of all you unenlightened knucklehead peasants out there and that my Personal Concepts (capital P, capital C) about Absolute Truth (capital A, capital T) are the only correct concepts, while all of your concepts are nothing but a big steaming pile of Horse Pooh (capital H, capital P). 4. The big important difference between you and me (a difference that I will never tire to point out in every single one of my posts from now until the end of time) is that I know that there is no difference between you and me. So I am talking to myself here, telling myself what an unenlightened f***ing MORON I am. Why? Because I have nothing else to do. I mean, what else would I do? Running around all day actively trying to help people and make the world a better place? Pfffff, fuck that. Trying to "help" people is complete delusion since there are no "others" and there is no "good" and "bad", so all of that altruistic crap is a total waste of time. Spending all of my waking hours in front of the computer engaging in online Nondualism flame wars 24/7 is the only worthy & dignified occupation behooving an enlightened master such as myself. 5. The degree to which you don't understand my convoluted ramblings is the degree to which you are asleep and deluded. The problem is not that nothing I write makes any goddamn sense or that I contradict myself every two seconds; in fact, all of my explanations are absolutely flawless and infallible. The problem is your own limited understanding. You don't know what the hell I am talking about? Congratulations, you're an idiot. 6. Since I am Absolutely Awake™, I have reached the highest state of perfection that anyone can possibly reach. By recognizing that all personal sense of self is delusion, I have transcended all of my petty human problems; the sun is literally shining out of my butthole. The fact that I sleep outside in a cardboard box and steal food from my neighbour's dog takes nothing away from the fact that I am a fully self-realized master who has ascended the very pinnacle of mental clarity and well-being. So if I sound like a raving lunatic to you... see paragraph 5. An enlightened one such as myself must necessarily sound like an unhinged crackpot to a dumbass like yourself. There is literally no possible way that you can convince me or make me even remotely consider the possibility that I am the deluded one here. Let me warn you in advance that I am a seasoned blackbelt champion of spiritual bypassing; all of your pathetic remarks about how I've gone off the deep end and drifted off to la-la-land will be like water off a duck's back. I can project and gaslight with the best of them, so don't try to beat me at my own game, buddy. 7. If you have the gall to point out to me that what I am going through is just a "passing stage" and that there is yet more to come, then I will respond by explaining to you that you're the one who is not fully awake yet and that you are still to reach my unparalleled level of awakening. I will debate you until you decide that the whole discussion is a waste of time and stop replying to my relentless counterattacks, at which point I will conclude that I am the more enlightened one... because DUH. Okay, now that we have cleared this up, I am looking forward to tearing all of you dunces out there a new spiritual a$$hole. Here's to a thousand more posts by your favorite enlightened Jedi master Bazooka Jesus Cheers!