Posted June 20, 2023 (edited) Alright folks, in celebration of my 1000th post on this forum I have decided to let you all know once and for all who's the real BOSS in here. - So, without further ado... this is how this works: 1. I am Awake (notice the capital A), you are asleep. I am Enlightened (again, capital E), you are deluded. I am Annointed, you are retarded. I am a Sage. you are an idiot. 2. Since I am the only one on here who is awake - err, I mean, Awake, or rather AWAKE - no wait, make that AWAKE -, I have nothing to learn from you. In fact, I have nothing more to learn in this life PERIOD. You, on the other hand, have everything to learn from me. All of you are totally clueless about this whole Awakening thing; I am the only one in this b!tch who knows what's up. 3. I have completely and utterly transcended all egoic delusions, personal limitations and conceptual thinking. That's why I can confidently say that I am lightyears ahead of all you unenlightened knucklehead peasants out there and that my Personal Concepts (capital P, capital C) about Absolute Truth (capital A, capital T) are the only correct concepts, while all of your concepts are nothing but a big steaming pile of Horse Pooh (capital H, capital P). 4. The big important difference between you and me (a difference that I will never tire to point out in every single one of my posts from now until the end of time) is that I know that there is no difference between you and me. So I am talking to myself here, telling myself what an unenlightened f***ing MORON I am. Why? Because I have nothing else to do. I mean, what else would I do? Running around all day actively trying to help people and make the world a better place? Pfffff, fuck that. Trying to "help" people is complete delusion since there are no "others" and there is no "good" and "bad", so all of that altruistic crap is a total waste of time. Spending all of my waking hours in front of the computer engaging in online Nondualism flame wars 24/7 is the only worthy & dignified occupation behooving an enlightened master such as myself. 5. The degree to which you don't understand my convoluted ramblings is the degree to which you are asleep and deluded. The problem is not that nothing I write makes any goddamn sense or that I contradict myself every two seconds; in fact, all of my explanations are absolutely flawless and infallible. The problem is your own limited understanding. You don't know what the hell I am talking about? Congratulations, you're an idiot. 6. Since I am Absolutely Awake™, I have reached the highest state of perfection that anyone can possibly reach. By recognizing that all personal sense of self is delusion, I have transcended all of my petty human problems; the sun is literally shining out of my butthole. The fact that I sleep outside in a cardboard box and steal food from my neighbour's dog takes nothing away from the fact that I am a fully self-realized master who has ascended the very pinnacle of mental clarity and well-being. So if I sound like a raving lunatic to you... see paragraph 5. An enlightened one such as myself must necessarily sound like an unhinged crackpot to a dumbass like yourself. There is literally no possible way that you can convince me or make me even remotely consider the possibility that I am the deluded one here. Let me warn you in advance that I am a seasoned blackbelt champion of spiritual bypassing; all of your pathetic remarks about how I've gone off the deep end and drifted off to la-la-land will be like water off a duck's back. I can project and gaslight with the best of them, so don't try to beat me at my own game, buddy. 7. If you have the gall to point out to me that what I am going through is just a "passing stage" and that there is yet more to come, then I will respond by explaining to you that you're the one who is not fully awake yet and that you are still to reach my unparalleled level of awakening. I will debate you until you decide that the whole discussion is a waste of time and stop replying to my relentless counterattacks, at which point I will conclude that I am the more enlightened one... because DUH. Okay, now that we have cleared this up, I am looking forward to tearing all of you dunces out there a new spiritual a$$hole. Here's to a thousand more posts by your favorite enlightened Jedi master Bazooka Jesus Cheers! Edited June 20, 2023 by Bazooka Jesus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 @Bazooka Jesus are you even conscious of alien love version 2.0? my mind is gone to a better place. I'm elevated ..going out of space . And I'm gone . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Dear Candidate, we inform you that the certification of The Most Awake Guy on The Planet™ is changing by July 19. You will have to re-take your exam if you want your title to be valid from July 19. To see exam centres near you click here If you have a 5-MeO voucher, you can use it at payment to apply the discount. Thank you for your trust in Amazon Realization Services. (ARS) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 I did not expect less from your message 1000. A great revelation that places you among the great avatars of humanity. Sorry, I didn't mean that, don't be offended. Obviously, those avatars are way below you. a new species has been born. the man/god, god incarnate, omniscience and almighty. the pinnacle of material creation, the point to which the big bang pointed from its very beginning. That looks like a schizophrenic homeless? that is because we can't understand his level. it's time to organize a cult, and tell the world the good new Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Aw shucks. I thought I was the AWAKE one. But You did say it's actually You, so... I don't know anymore. Gee, this is a real head-scratcher for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 6 minutes ago, Sincerity said: Aw shucks. I thought I was the AWAKE one. But You did say it's actually You, so... I don't know anymore. Gee, this is a real head-scratcher for me. It's all good. Just imagine that you donated your awakening. Now that makes you the bigger one. My name is Reena Gerlach and I'm a woman of few words. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Just now, Enlightement said: It's all good. Just imagine that you donated your awakening. Now that makes you the bigger one. Ohhh yes! That's it! Thanks imaginary me. To think that for a second I doubted being the bigger man, hahaha. I do know better most of the time but I can also be a silly goose sometimes... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Since there's no difference between you and me, it's immensely reassuring to know that I'm as AWAKE as you are. Tossing my Gita into the fire ?, cardboard box here I come! ? Just because God loves you doesn't mean it is going to shape the cosmos to suit you. God loves you so much that it will shape you to suit the cosmos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 @Bazooka Jesus Salut Comrade Jesus!?? Let Your Bazooka play for us to dance forever, since even the dead can dance?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Wow, that has set a very high benchmark for a 1000th post. If that isn't art, I don't know what is. So if there are any imaginary nonduality-wars to be fought (Arjuna anybody?), lets do them relaxed, with compassion, cool, with style and smart. If our Bodhisattvas Manjrushi & Guanying are going to continue to do their thing, then in the 21st century they sometimes need the support of Bazooka Jesus & company: Long live the one and only AWAKE Bazooka Jesus! Water by the River PS: Um, who exactly is there awake? Job Opening: Empty Mirror (female, male, diverse, alien,…, infinitely flexible!) on Imagined Planet Earth Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 @Bazooka Jesus Since this is an anniversary post, I will mention that I, in turn, have the opposite. Since childhood, I do not attach importance to any celebrations. Whether it's a birthday, funeral, Christmas, or wedding anniversary - mine or others - a typical day. This is not a form of protest or an insult to reality. That's how I am. Of course, I do not show it ostentatiously - I participate in these ceremonies so that others will not be sorry. And often, quite spontaneously, I start having fun there. Even at funerals. Especially at funerals, especially since I was a kid. And all in all, I wish you to bury all attachments, burn them on a cremation pyre Dear Bazooka Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 (edited) Somebody give this man a nobel prize Edited June 20, 2023 by Salvijus You cannot love what you need. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 You cannot love what you need. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 *insert women throwing panties meme* You cannot love what you need. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 @Bazooka Jesus Dude, your username alone make you the most enlightened member here "Say to the sheep in your secrecy when you intend to slaughter it, Today you are slaughtered and tomorrow I am. Both of us will be consumed. My blood and your blood, my suffering and yours is the essence that nourishes the tree of existence.'" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 I am the only one on this forum* Describe a thought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 @Osaid 37 minutes ago, Osaid said: I am the only one on this forum* Wrong, I am. Wanna throw hands 'bout it, boy? Who told you that "others" are real? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2023 Just now, Kksd74628 said: Wrong, I am. Wanna throw hands 'bout it, boy? Don't make me unimagine you. Describe a thought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
