I hate women because of too much negative experience

[luqqzr]

Hello,

after every interaction with attractive women I get frustrated to the max. In my opinion women are dumb, too emotional for proper communication and extremely arrogant, especially attractive ones. I think that our society is fucked because of social media. Attractive women get way too much validation from stupid needy men, so they don't even have to work on themselves. No one cares when they behave like assholes. But men have to bring so much to the table to stay attractive and this pisses me off.

Until I was 19 I had nothing sexual going, no kisses, nothing. I rejected many girls because I wanted the first one to be "perfect".

First girlfriend with 19 then was extremely toxic to me, she had borderline, bulimia etc. Long story, but I guess you can image how she behaved with the mentioned disorders. 14 months pure torture, I was way too needy because I thought she was perfect. But the only thing that was perfect was her looks.

After that I was dating about 10 other women through tinder because I was too shy to approach women in real life. But this was just for fun, I didn't want a relationship. Then there was another attractive woman with borderline and she broke me again. And after that I was dating a woman who was relatively thick and I thought that it was impossible for me to be with someone like that in a relationship, but we matched really well and I was surprised. I wanted to start a relationship with her and she broke me as well. She had red flag written all over her like all the other women I have dated before. But I was naive, nobody told me what red flags are. She basically went into a relationship with a "friend" of her.

Only my second and last girlfriend was able to communicate good. She wasn't doing too many shit tests and our relationship was easy-going as it should. Unfortunately I had to leave her because of some things that disturbed me, frequent weed smoking and other drug consumption. Plus I didn't find her attractive because of the way she behaved and her looks, I'd say she was a little too "masculine" for me. I just got into the relationship because she forced me into it and I thought why not. After six months I had to end it and we are still really good friends, feels like a brother and sister connection, nothing sexual, she even has a boyfriend who really loves her and I'm grateful that they have found each other.

I've done many therapies, had three months of coaching for 3000€ and it went pretty well. I can finally approach women when I really want to.

I've finally come to the conclusion that I am not the issue, that's what I always thought before. I feel like society is only getting worse as I mentioned above. Women did not have any rights in the past, now I feel that they have too much power, it's unbalanced. We went into the other extreme. I think it should be 50/50, but it isn't. And I'm not sure if this is going to balance out while I am still alive.

That's why I have suicide thoughts way too often. I've never tried killing myself and I hope that I never will but if that does not change in the next few years, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel in the future. All this work, all this self improvement and pain, I really have made much progress the last few years, especially the last year but it hurts that it does not get recognized by women. Only by myself and my friends, you may think that this should be enough but for me it isn't.

I know that there are really beautiful women out there with top tier character, but I feel like they are way too rare or most of them already in a relationship. At least in the cities I've lived in, in Germany.

I just want to be more attractive to women so I can have some fun, go on dates and finally have a girlfriend that fits me.

I'm eating well, I do sports, built some muscle, look good and I try to approach women here and there. But somehow I'm not attractive enough for them, I either get no response via chat or they annoy me because of too many shit tests and I know they wouldn't do as many tests if they were sure that I'd be good enough for them.

So... enough crying, let me ask a goal oriented question: How can I accept this mean and unfair world? Or how can I change the way I think about the world? I'm missing positive experience with women.

Sorry for this negative talk, but this is my mind and I have to live with it every day.

I just want to be more of my higher self and connect more with women. Thanks for reading.

Best regards,

Lukas 

 

[integral]

Go to where high consciousness women are more likely to go, do not waist your time approaching random women on the streets.

Where are they likely to go? Maybe yoga classes or spiritual retreats? 

For online dating pick a site that attracts more conscious people like okcupid not tinder. This should be intuitive, contemplate why you didnt realize tinder attracts low consciousness people. When on a better site only match with woman that have spiritual or self-development somewhere in there profile. Don't waist a second of time with any other women, the only people you are compatible with are into self-development and they will always write it into there profile because its the center of there lives, so that easily filters out 90% of people.

44 minutes ago, luqqzr said:

I've finally come to the conclusion that I am not the issue, that's what I always thought before. I feel like society is only getting worse as I mentioned above. Women did not have any rights in the past, now I feel that they have too much power, it's unbalanced. We went into the other extreme. I think it should be 50/50, but it isn't. And I'm not sure if this is going to balance out while I am still alive.

Stop playing games, hold yourself to a higher standard of deeper contemplation. Obviously your being biased and generating a emotionally charged perspective, identify and catch your-self when you do this, then take it to the next level. ?

---

We all experienced this, dated alot of random women and learned from experience what we want and what we dont want. I dated the beautiful BPD as well, it was hell. It was all a learning experience and preparation for the real mature relationship that will come. Imagine if you never had does experiences, you would be completely unprepared and emotionally immature for that great woman that is coming next. It was all necessary. 

So dont take resentment, the reality from the start was you where not mature yet, so you attracted immature people. Now that youve been to war and grown up youll be able to identify and allow the mature woman into your life.

Zoom out and look at your life path then compare and identify other peoples life paths, there is a predictable pattern. 

Quote

I know that there are really beautiful women out there with top tier character

What you thought was top tier woman at 19 is not what your think a top tier woman is today and it is not what you will think a top tier woman is in 30 years from now. Everything is evolving, constantly changing based on our vantage point.

The over emphasis on beauty is the most limiting blind spot men have. Introspect and grow until you can over come it. 

Edited June 19, 2023 by integral

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKnFlK9EwB0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLH7yUwkBPg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEwQO3IIddI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-cold-approach-isnt-social-beginners

 

Edited June 19, 2023 by Raze

[NoSelfSelf]

You dont have Game that's bottom line to this.

 

[luqqzr]

@NoSelfSelf Your answer basically fueled the hate that I mentioned above. Useless.

[NoSelfSelf]

@luqqzr Game is about you not women,you hate because you make it about women...its too deep to explain it all here...

Ill give you a hint: you define yourself by validation and how good you are with women so ofcourse you will hate it...you take on the experience of the outside and then turn it into your personal experience of who you are..

Like bad reaction=i am bad etc.

Edited June 19, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Chives99]

This is very black and white thinking, have you met all women, ok so you've had some negative experiences, women arent perfect, neither are men, look at all the problems guys have over 90% of the prison population is male go figure. Perhaps dont look at women as a source of something to extort something from then and instead have fun getting to know them, its not a race, theres no finish line, no winners or loosers, its just life. You wont have a positive relationship with women if you dont love them, but that also means you have to learn to love yourself.

[Chives99]

@NoSelfSelf Game is mostly about fixing your wounded psyche and learning to love yourself and tap into your authenticity, all the practical stuff like when to escalate touch, when to ask out, who to approach will come mostly naturally if you fix your mind.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 Yeah and unique creation..

[Chives99]

@NoSelfSelf i dont like the term game because it implies you need to learn a technique or a rulebook, what the socially awkward guy needs to do is go to therapy learn whats bothering him, why doesnt he think he's good enough and then he can in a relaxed way chat to women without trying to extort anything from her and gently get to know her, he will fumble and thats ok but if she really likes him she will help him, when i was awkward starting out i had this girl opening all the doors for me " are you going to walk me back" she was helping me , it allowed me to relax, it was so natural.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 Game is perfect word because when you are connected to yourself you entered a game when you cross the road you entered a game because you know how to do it,what to avoid and you are not worried about anything but to cross it at that moment to benefit yourself only ,same with talking to women you need to know how,what,why to do it for yourself thats game not worrying about her but yourself just like when crossing the road its easy but it truly is not...

You need to know why you get to know her otherwise is just random acts hoping something happens...

[Chives99]

ok so practice self understanding and self awareness, through that you will naturally no what type of woman you like and what sort of women you hit it off with, you'll get an intuition, I dont like loud sassy women, but I dont want her to be too quiet that she never wants to go anywhere because Im a social guy and love talking to people, I like women that are very sweet and nice and loving, I discovered all this through self awareness.

[luqqzr]

@NoSelfSelf No, that's what I'm actually not doing. I've learned this through coaching. I know my worth and after approaching many girls, I've realized that every woman reacts completely different. It makes no sense to think that something is wrong with me, they don't know me. I  don't take anything personally anymore. This is what I've done in the past.

Now I'm just annoyed when women are triggered by stupid stuff and react weird or act arrogant because they think they deserve the world but have done nothing for it. And what's sad is that they even get it, because many men just think with their dick. OnlyFans is the best example for this.

You are right with the validation though, when I have no women around I feel worthless. This is what I take personal in general. Rejection is a little different topic. Yes I think that I am still a little scared to get rejected but I don't take it personal because some of the rejections I've had were extremely stupid. One girl told me that she searched for a guy that had x traits and I had all of them, she just didn't give me time to show her. This is what pisses me off.

58 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@luqqzr Game is about you not women,you hate because you make it about women...its too deep to explain it all here...

Ill give you a hint: you define yourself by validation and how good you are with women so ofcourse you will hate it...you take on the experience of the outside and then turn it into your personal experience of who you are..

Like bad reaction=i am bad etc.

 

Edited June 19, 2023 by luqqzr

[luqqzr]

@Raze I will check it out these days, thank you.

[luqqzr]

@integral Wow, thank you. Makes sense to search for places where women can be found that are interested in personal development. I was trying to go to places where women dress the same as me, listen to the same music etc. Coaching is finished now, so I finally have time to attend my yoga class again with less anxiety to approach women.

Online Dating I'm going to start in some time again, problem is that I'm addicted to social media, I deleted Instagram etc. to reconnect with myself. Online Dating apps are not too good for me right now unfortunately.

Over emphasis for beauty is a hard topic for me, I'm still trying to overcome this...

[luqqzr]

@Chives99 But how to love when you have so much hate?

And I know exactly what type of woman I want, I've had much experience with this. Plus this was all part of the Coaching process. Coaching  was about personal development, self awareness and dating.

Edited June 19, 2023 by luqqzr

[NoSelfSelf]

@luqqzr If you knew your worth then you wouldnt care about womens reactions like that,she can demand what she thinks her value is thats her right just like yours,if she think she deserves a guy that makes 1 million dollars she can do that,you are mad because shes not seeing you as someone worthy,while you dont see yourself as someone of value will never work like that. You expect her to have sex with you, like you just because you look good and spent 3k on your self development.

She didnt need time she already knew what type of guy you are based on dozens of experiences she had beforehand, because you did the same as them because you dont have game.

Edited June 19, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Chives99]

@luqqzr who said you were worthless??? is your mind listening to bullies from the past, did someone mistreat you? were you not accepted by people?? the mind will cling onto stories of unworthiness if its absorbed it from somewhere, the mind reflects the information it is given to it. learning to love yourself means you have to abandon that narrative. You can love yourself without any requirements.

[luqqzr]

@NoSelfSelf Nope, if most men wouldn't just think with their dicks, attractive women wouldn't get as much attention. Therefore women would question their self worth. When she has 100k Instagram followers sure she thinks that she deserves the world, even if the only thing she did was show how she looks. You say that I can't expect her to have sex with me because I've done much personal development work, but why can she expect that everyone wants to fuck her just because she looks good? In my opinion this is extremely unfair and that's what I hate about society.

And no, she didn't get to know me. So she couldn't know what type of guy I am. She even came back to me after a few months but I rejected her because it annoyed me that she didn't give me time. This is the nr.1 on my No-Go list for women that I want to be in a relationship with. You're just assuming bullshit now.

8 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@luqqzr If you knew your worth then you wouldnt care about womens reactions like that,she can demand what she thinks her value is thats her right just like yours,if she think she deserves a guy that makes 1 million dollars she can do that,you are mad because shes not seeing you as someone worthy,while you dont see yourself as someone of value will never work like that. You expect her to have sex with you, like you just because you look good and spent 3k on your self development.

She didnt need time she already knew what type of guy you are based on dozens of experiences she had beforehand, because you did the same as them because you dont have game.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@luqqzr Im done here good luck hating women and being with them ?