I'm 27 and I've never been in a relationship, is this normal?

[enzyme]

During high school I was way too socially awkward to ever ask anybody out and I felt much the same way throughout college in my 20s.

I've had sexual flings here and there but I've never been asked out and I've never felt compelled to partner up with anybody.

I was wondering if this counts as an issue for personal development or does it not matter whether you're single or not in general?

[Dauntment]

Well uh...are you a guy or a girl? lol. Its an issue if you believe it is, some people are just natural "being with themselves"; be authentic to yourself and go with what you want

[enzyme]

@Dauntment I'm a male irl

[Chives99]

Plenty of people in their 40s that have never dated it'd not just this generation, but I do think our generation is more isolated with  social media, online dating , home entertainment etc  which has improved our lives but there are trade offs . That doesn't have to be the case for you though it's all about seeing who you vibe with , be brazen ask her out its like schroneigers cat until u open the box u don't know if the cat is dead or alive 

Edited June 15, 2023 by Chives99

[NoSelfSelf]

It has big potential for growth...

[WeCome1]

Is it "normal"? Technically, no - most people obviously had this experience; although, as Chives99 correctly pointed out, the Overton window has been shifting lately. However, there are functional and dysfunctional relationships - and the latter, while still being a form of experience and an opportunity for growth, are likely to leave you more traumatized than before, which raises the question if one really has to taste every flavor of shit under the sun in the name of "experience"...

Functional relationships are a whole another story. They grow you like crazy and make you the best version of your human self. And I say this as a complete sociopath who never even remotely considered any possibility of letting another human being near myself before the age of 30 and had been perfectly happy and content on my own. I'm grateful for having this experience, although I will not pursue it again if/when it ends.

But, in my opinion, one has to be careful to pursue a healthy relationship precisely for the experience of "having a soulmate/best friend of the opposite sex" - and not for the experience of "being a fucken' MAN and having earned the perfect woman as a trophy". Which is the vibe that I'm kind of getting from this quote (apologies, if I misread):

19 hours ago, enzyme said:

I've never been asked out and I've never felt compelled to partner up with anybody.

I was wondering if this counts as an issue for personal development or does it not matter whether you're single or not in general?

So, in conclusion, fuck "what's normal" - pursue it because it's beautiful and brings out the best in you. We hear very few complaints from men who found "the wife material" and love of their lives that this somehow interfered with their Life Purpose or spirituality. But it is ok to not want this - if this not wanting is not of the neurotic nature. Which it kind of usually is...

Edited June 15, 2023 by WeCome1

[integral]

Leo started to pursue women when he was 26, I think he got his first gf around the ages of 26-28. 

Edited June 16, 2023 by integral

[The0Self]

On 6/15/2023 at 1:32 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

It has big potential for growth...

Mr. Brightside ? ? 

[Roy]

I would consider getting into a serious relationship with someone if you haven't, it really helps you learn a lot about yourself and other people in ways that are hard to find elsewhere. Getting my first girlfriend skyrocketed my personal development, wish I could have done it sooner to have those lessons under my belt at a younger age.

That said don't do it with just anyone, find a decent match.

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Roy said:

I would consider getting into a serious relationship with someone if you haven't, it really helps you learn a lot about yourself and other people in ways that are hard to find elsewhere. Getting my first girlfriend skyrocketed my personal development, wish I could have done it sooner to have those lessons under my belt at a younger age.

That said don't do it with just anyone, find a decent match.

 

Can you give examples?

[Chives99]

you just havent found the right person yet, maybe you could explore some of your interest groups and meet like minded people? what do you enjoy doing?  fitness? join a running group, dance class , thats something you could join to meet people. Less intense that nightclubs and the such which isnt for a lot of people. The problem with drinking places is that theres too much diversity of people and trying to find someone you have something in common with is like trying to find  a needle in a haystack. Plenty of people hook up in nightclubs, but  the chances of you find  the love of your life in  a nightclub is very small, dont envy the people engaging in shallow hookups, that isnt even fulfilling

[NoSelfSelf]

@The0Self Come join its not a big lane ?

[Beeflamb]

I found that you have to actually set an intention to meet and date women and put yourself out there, otherwise you end up in a comfortable shell by yourself. Nobody will ever come into your life until you intentionally get out there and make bold moves.

[Chives99]

@Beeflamb listen to this guy, be brazen, put yourself out there, you have some good conversations that flow well with a girl, ask her out as soon as you meet her, its all about seeing who you vibe with