How Does One Discover What They Authentically Want?

[Oso]

I feel like this is a silly question, but I'm having trouble discovering what's authentic within me, especially in regards to what I want in life. 

 

I ask myself questions, sit and contemplate, observe periods of silence, journal a little, and I still get answers in which I'm not sure about.

 

Am I missing something here?

How can I get to my core answers or to that which is authentic inside me?

[enzyme]

It's okay to not have a clear answer off the bat.  It helps sometimes to observe the things you know you don't like or don't want to incorporate in your own life and think of what the opposite could be.

For instance, if a person believes they were neglected as a child, if they ever have a child of their own they may have a much greater tendency to take responsibility as a parent and be there for their child as often as they can.  Or a person who knows someone close to them who suffers from an illness, there might be a inkling to study medicine and become a nurse/doctor, since healing others from their sickness feels most authentic to them.

[Leo Gura]

By consciously trying a bunch of stuff and carefully observing how you feel.

What you're missing is massive experience. See my episode: Expose Yourself To More Experience

Edited June 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Oso]

@enzyme @Leo Gura Thank you both for the clear insight. I'll take action from here. 

[Sugarcoat]

 I don´t believe it is a necessity per say to make a bunch of effort to find out what you want. 

sometimes the desire comes to us instead of trying to find it

so by making no effort at all it allows for that space and oppennes for it to find and latch onto us

[Salvijus]

15 hours ago, Oso said:

I ask myself questions, sit and contemplate, observe periods of silence, journal a little, and I still get answers in which I'm not sure about.

That should've worked i think. Maybe you have lots of judgement around your desires.

Desire is a rather loud thing. What makes it look barely visiable is the inner critic that is constantly supressing it with fear and self-judgement. 

If you remove all the filters of what is acceptable and what is not, what is possible and what is not, and you ignore the fear of all the possible things that could go wrong. Then your authentic desires will be like a loud beacon banging on your head and won't allow you to rest until you follow up on it.

 

Edited June 14, 2023 by Salvijus

[TheAlchemist]

Yeah experience is key like Leo said. Embrace it, it is great fun and an exciting part of the journey. You get to explore what it is to be human, the vast array of experiences that are possible. There's no rush. Just no heroin or meth, ok? ?

[Carl-Richard]

When I was a bit younger, I learned a saying "to know what you really want to do, you must do absolutely nothing". I guess there is some truth to that, as you decouple yourself from outside forces that affect your behavior, and it disrupts unconscious habits. The problem is of course: at what level should you interpret the saying? Should you be an unemployed squatter for a while? Or should you just meditate in silence without any distractions sometimes?

On the flip side, you have the advice given above: actually do something and see what you like and don't like. That is also how you grow and develop as a person. Maybe you'll discover a hidden talent, or learn a useful skill or activity that you come to truly enjoy. Who you are today is not necessarily fixed and might be completely different tomorrow. Then again, there are definitely things that come more naturally to a certain type of person, but that is also discovered by trying new things.

[Oso]

On 6/13/2023 at 6:05 PM, enzyme said:

It's okay to not have a clear answer off the bat.  It helps sometimes to observe the things you know you don't like or don't want to incorporate in your own life and think of what the opposite could be.

For instance, if a person believes they were neglected as a child, if they ever have a child of their own they may have a much greater tendency to take responsibility as a parent and be there for their child as often as they can.  Or a person who knows someone close to them who suffers from an illness, there might be a inkling to study medicine and become a nurse/doctor, since healing others from their sickness feels most authentic to them.

I understand what you're saying here. However, I have several problems in my life where I can currently see the potential in solving/providing value with them yet feel no desire to do so. If I had one problem that spoke above the rest, it would be that I'm not aware of absolute truth and therefore feel a lack which can only be cured by that experience.  

 

Do you speak here on doing these things for the good of them? Or for the personal passion one gets from them?

[Oso]

On 6/13/2023 at 6:39 PM, Leo Gura said:

By consciously trying a bunch of stuff and carefully observing how you feel.

What you're missing is massive experience. See my episode: Expose Yourself To More Experience

I watched the video and am once again reminded of the fleeting time one has in the human experience. Though I see the process I must go through, I still have one issue. 

 

Intuitively, I have a hint that my core desire is experiencing truth at its most absolute point. However, I don't know if this intuitive hint is what I should follow for I have other passions like music which I invest more time in and that seem more practical. 

 

I know my mind and emotions can play tricks on me which only leaves me the ability to truthfully listen to my deepest core. That feeling of depth and intuitive truth within me.  Based on your experience, is that a wise source to listen to? If not, what is the more authentic thing to listen to inside oneself?

[Oso]

On 6/14/2023 at 6:44 AM, Sugarcoat said:

 I don´t believe it is a necessity per say to make a bunch of effort to find out what you want. 

sometimes the desire comes to us instead of trying to find it

so by making no effort at all it allows for that space and oppennes for it to find and latch onto us

I've allowed myself space in not-knowing before and have found it to be rather efficient. Since it is a space of not-knowing, a lot of tricky desires come up as well which can be hard to discern as worthwhile.

 

Do you have a way for navigating that space, especially in regards to what is truthful or of most value?

[Oso]

On 6/14/2023 at 9:19 AM, Salvijus said:

That should've worked i think. Maybe you have lots of judgement around your desires.

Desire is a rather loud thing. What makes it look barely visiable is the inner critic that is constantly supressing it with fear and self-judgement. 

If you remove all the filters of what is acceptable and what is not, what is possible and what is not, and you ignore the fear of all the possible things that could go wrong. Then your authentic desires will be like a loud beacon banging on your head and won't allow you to rest until you follow up on it.

 

How do you alleviate the suppression? In other words, how do you let go of the filters? 

 

Of course, I ask you both on a personal level and objectively. 

[Oso]

14 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

When I was a bit younger, I learned a saying "to know what you really want to do, you must do absolutely nothing". I guess there is some truth to that, as you decouple yourself from outside forces that affect your behavior, and it disrupts unconscious habits. The problem is of course: at what level should you interpret the saying? Should you be an unemployed squatter for a while? Or should you just meditate in silence without any distractions sometimes?

On the flip side, you have the advice given above: actually do something and see what you like and don't like. That is also how you grow and develop as a person. Maybe you'll discover a hidden talent, or learn a useful skill or activity that you come to truly enjoy. Who you are today is not necessarily fixed and might be completely different tomorrow. Then again, there are definitely things that come more naturally to a certain type of person, but that is also discovered by trying new things.

At what level would you interpret the saying? I understand the importance of taking the saying as it feels natural to me, however, I still seek your point of view on it. Taking time away to sit in nothingness is powerful but take too little or too much time to do and there would be consequences. So, maybe what I'm asking is, what do you recommend in terms of getting the clarity on what you really want? 

 

I think it's still useful to go above experimenting and seeing what I like and don't like, even if I do figure out my core desire/s to avoid becoming stagnant. Even so, it seems that overall you're alluding to a mix of both time in nothingness and time in conscious experimentation no?

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, Oso said:

 I think it's still useful to go above experimenting and seeing what I like and don't like, even if I do figure out my core desire/s to avoid becoming stagnant. Even so, it seems that overall you're alluding to a mix of both time in nothingness and time in conscious experimentation no?

I don't really recommend quitting whatever you're doing right now to decouple yourself from outside influences, as not everybody has the luxury to do that without facing consequences. But you can simulate that kind of mental state by imagining some hypotheticals. For example, "if nobody could tell me what to do, or if nobody cared what I'm doing, what would I do?". Now, you should check if the answer agrees with firstly your higher values (it can't just be "I want to eat ice cream until I die"), as well as some level of social conscientiousness (something that makes you a viable member of society and not a burden to others). So you always need some kind of balance if you care about those things.

[Leo Gura]

18 hours ago, Oso said:

Intuitively, I have a hint that my core desire is experiencing truth at its most absolute point. However, I don't know if this intuitive hint is what I should follow for I have other passions like music which I invest more time in and that seem more practical. 

You want both.

Truth is of course core. But that by itself is not enough for a good life. You need passions outside of spirituality. You need some kind of career, hobbies, etc.

Pick one career and pick one hobby. And also you will pursue truth.

Edited June 18, 2023 by Leo Gura

[CARDOZZO]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You need passions outside of spirituality.

THIS ^^^^

@Leo Gura I know that you don’t need to emphasize that in all videos but thanks.

We need to transcend the spiritual bubble.

[CARDOZZO]

@Oso Discover your top values.

My top values:

• Excellence.
• Creativity.
• Deep Understanding.
• Mastery.
• Wisdom.
• Innovation.

Edited June 18, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[CARDOZZO]

@Oso Also, do the life purpose course that Leo created ?

[Recursoinominado]

A good dose of psychedelics.

[Spiritedness]

@CARDOZZO How is 'mastery' expressed differently than 'excellence'?