Maturity Examples Mega Thread

[Ninja_pig]

I know that @Danioover9000 made a thread about maturity and Immaturity, but I noticed a lot more examples of immaturity than maturity on that thread. Some of the time it was people posting a mix of both which I thought was very confusing. It was almost starting to feel like people were just taking the opportunity to call other people immature which is pretty ironic so I decided to make a thread of exclusively for examples of maturity.

As a reminder here are some of the main indicators of maturity as per Leo's video:

- Mature people willingly take on responsibility and make sacrifices in order to do what they know they need to do.
- Mature people face the truth willingly, especially difficult truths.
- Maturity people adhere to a set of values and act beyond their own self-interest.
- Mature people refrain from emotional manipulation or otherwise getting things from people the easy way.

I have 2 examples to share here.

The first example I have is from the movie "Gandhi" where he displays exceptional maturity by following his values unwaveringly and stands up for what he knows is right despite knowing the pain he will have to endure as a result. For anyone who has not watched the movie I highly recommend it. The story of Gandhi is one of the most inspiring of all time.

The second example is a compilation of the character Jean Luc Picard from the series "Star Trek: The Next Generation". I thought this was a great example because of the quote Leo gave at the beginning of his video. The Next Generation specifically is perhaps one of the most philosophical and forward thinking sci-fi shows ever. Again, I highly recommend the series to anyone who likes philosophy or self actualization work. It is also entertaining!

I am excited to see your own examples of Maturity!

Edited June 13, 2023 by Ninja_pig

[Yimpa]

 

[ryandesreu]

 

I came across this video a while back. It encouraged me to see someone with money sharing like that. Charity and generosity are signs of maturity.

 

[ryandesreu]

Deescalating a potentially hostile situation is definitely a sign of maturity. Do you have any examples of this personally or otherwise? Share them here. 

[ryandesreu]

@Ninja_pig I have seen that Gandhi movie and I enjoyed it. I like educational movies like that.

[Yimpa]

14 hours ago, ryandesreu said:

Deescalating a potentially hostile situation is definitely a sign of maturity. Do you have any examples of this personally or otherwise? Share them here. 

This window clearly did a phenomenal job:

 

[WeCome1]

The concept of "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink:

 

[Twega]

 

[CARDOZZO]

Mature way to selling:

 

[ryandesreu]

9 hours ago, Yimpa said:

This window clearly did a phenomenal job:

 

It is obvious that the customer acted immaturely and failed to de-escalate the situation. He didn't S. T. O. P. He let hanger get the best of him. Now he's stuck going to hanger management and spending time in the clink.

What's not so obvious is how the employee failed at de-escalating. I can see at least three ways in which she worsened the situation. Can anybody spot them?

Edited June 16, 2023 by ryandesreu

[Yimpa]

Like trying to teach my deceased cat what spirituality is 

[ryandesreu]

Maturity on the topic of fighting. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kba8PZwzS0Y&list=LLDDBqDC4g2iXi9yA-7zstpQ&index=1&pp=gAQBiAQB

[Danioover9000]

@Ninja_pig

On 2023-06-13 at 2:59 AM, Ninja_pig said:

I know that @Danioover9000 made a thread about maturity and Immaturity, but I noticed a lot more examples of immaturity than maturity on that thread. Some of the time it was people posting a mix of both which I thought was very confusing. It was almost starting to feel like people were just taking the opportunity to call other people immature which is pretty ironic so I decided to make a thread of exclusively for examples of maturity.

As a reminder here are some of the main indicators of maturity as per Leo's video:

- Mature people willingly take on responsibility and make sacrifices in order to do what they know they need to do.
- Mature people face the truth willingly, especially difficult truths.
- Maturity people adhere to a set of values and act beyond their own self-interest.
- Mature people refrain from emotional manipulation or otherwise getting things from people the easy way.

I have 2 examples to share here.

The first example I have is from the movie "Gandhi" where he displays exceptional maturity by following his values unwaveringly and stands up for what he knows is right despite knowing the pain he will have to endure as a result. For anyone who has not watched the movie I highly recommend it. The story of Gandhi is one of the most inspiring of all time.

The second example is a compilation of the character Jean Luc Picard from the series "Star Trek: The Next Generation". I thought this was a great example because of the quote Leo gave at the beginning of his video. The Next Generation specifically is perhaps one of the most philosophical and forward thinking sci-fi shows ever. Again, I highly recommend the series to anyone who likes philosophy or self actualization work. It is also entertaining!

I am excited to see your own examples of Maturity!

   Two examples of maturity, here's and example from Kate being more mature minded than Megan here:

 

[Leo Gura]

ME

[UnbornTao]

James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Yimpa]

Mature people don’t demonize immature people because they feel threatened. Instead, mature people are able to intuitively identify immature behavior whenever it arises and not engage in it themselves.

Yet, mature people are not perfect. When they do slip up from time to time, they are able to forgive themselves. They see the bigger picture and take accountability for their actions, understanding that every failure is a lesson and opportunity to grow.

[Danioover9000]

@ryandesreu

On 2023-06-16 at 4:12 AM, ryandesreu said:

It is obvious that the customer acted immaturely and failed to de-escalate the situation. He didn't S. T. O. P. He let hanger get the best of him. Now he's stuck going to hanger management and spending time in the clink.

What's not so obvious is how the employee failed at de-escalating. I can see at least three ways in which she worsened the situation. Can anybody spot them?

 

On 2023-06-15 at 6:25 PM, Yimpa said:

This window clearly did a phenomenal job:

 

   I could see more signs here and there, but based on what I'm seeing from the film (which BTW the footage is in the middle of the conflict so no clear definitive claim of which party did start and escalate the situation first) the female employee failed to remain and maintain calm, and control her tone of voice and have a more softer tone, but it's harder to discern here her face because of her mask on. So it starts with him saying "Why YOU can't do no refund?" this is direct question to HER, and her response "I asked my manager from-and this is an ORDER FROM MY OWNER-WE can't do no REFUND. ALL WE CAN DO IS GIVE YOU THE REFUND AND(inaudible the last bits of her sentence)" with quick head shakes and I think she's also sanitizing her hands, either as a self soothing gesture to try and relieve the building stress, a distraction or just to clean her hands but it can be all that. Here I don't know enough if there's an actually policy in this work place for a refund of a defective product, but don't they do refunds typically? Also this seems like it's during Covid lockdowns so maybe that's adding to this issue on top.  

   When he said "I don't want the FOOD-I DON'T WANNA WAIT-I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT ON THE FOOD AGAIN!" and she replies with a dead panned "Okay...", based on tone of voice she has given up being civil and is preparing to lash back, like there's this tone of apathy coming on, all the while rubbing hands still, like a calm before the storm moment. Then the guy, with wide active arms emphasizes her OKAY with "OKAY, so NOW WHAT DO WE DO?!" and he places his hands on table, leans to her as she's telling him off, and this is the part that spikes the escalation. Her tone now gets energized and matches his tone and slightly more aggressive, her hands now more active and emphasizing her "IT'S EITHER YOU GET YOUR FOOD REMADE-OR GO ABOUT YOUR DAY!(This part of her statement her hands swings and over emphasizes and karate chops to her left in a dismissive manner, to also refer to her manager I assume.) AND STOP YELLING AT MY OTHER MANAGER. BECAUSE-THAT'S-NO!-THAT'S UNCALLED FOR-(Around this part he lifts from him leaning on table, leans to his left, quick glance of that table of contents, signaling what he's about to do. Also She's shaking her head quickly here emphasizing his uncalled for behavior which to me she's partly right here, YET the customer is always right in most cases, and when there's a disgruntled customer the employees have to handle with extra care or they end up escalating like this).".

   I guess, from the limited camera angle I have as I can't see his facial expressions, or other body language signs from his front but I can hear his tonality and partly see other signs of building anger. Same with her handling, even though I can see her front she's wearing a mask, and her hands were rubbing each other for sanitization which may also be defensive and for soothing. Can't comment on the other male employees, maybe they could've interjected here but I have the feeling the Bystander effect is effecting them, and they're indecisive and don't have deescalation training down, in fact seems like none of them do. I feel like in these situations is were a security guard or a nearby police would've helped deescalate the situation, as from the limited footage I can tell he's just after the refund, and is getting more frustrated here I don't know if that's possible or not based on their work policies, but he kind of dug he's own mess by pressuring them that he doesn't have all day or the time, he's only for the refund which straight away my advice would be to just give the customer the refund and adjust your body language to an apologetic one in tone as well, sub communicate you don't want to fight and be generally sorry for the inconvenience. I mean it may be different there than in here because when me and my Dad went to this ice cream shop, he already paid for a pair of mister whipies, and the employee operating the machine found that there's little to no ice cream left, something wrong with the machine or whatever, and they quickly were apologetic and offered the money back, gave their series of excuses and we generally didn't fuss or were too frustrated as they're straight away apologetic. If they behaved like the cashier here was, I could see how it'll piss me off and my Dad more and further increase tensions, like we can't get refunds over ice creams??? Again I'd give the refund here but if it's against work policies then...they kind of shot themselves in the foot here.

   Am I correct in my interpretation and close? And what is the three mistakes you're alluding to here?

[UnbornTao]

On 6/14/2023 at 7:32 PM, ryandesreu said:

 

I came across this video a while back. It encouraged me to see someone with money sharing like that. Charity and generosity are signs of maturity.

 

nice.

[ryandesreu]

@Danioover9000 She missed the first step of de-escalation which is to calm yourself first and stay calm. She had a raised voice, angry body language, and she scolded him for yelling at the other manager. It's never a good idea to scold, blame, or shame somebody who is escalated because it just makes the situation worse. And in this situation it is at the exact moment when she is scolding him that he loses it.

You got a lot of good answers there. Thank you.

 

[Danioover9000]

@ryandesreu

11 hours ago, ryandesreu said:

@Danioover9000 She missed the first step of de-escalation which is to calm yourself first and stay calm. She had a raised voice, angry body language, and she scolded him for yelling at the other manager. It's never a good idea to scold, blame, or shame somebody who is escalated because it just makes the situation worse. And in this situation it is at the exact moment when she is scolding him that he loses it.

You got a lot of good answers there. Thank you.

 

   You're welcome, although I gave a lot of jumbled up answers I'm close enough. Now that I think about it, since this incident is in a restaurant or some fast food joint, I do think the refund is possible as long as you have the bill or receipt for the order, in which case yes she should've refunded his order straight away and be sorry and not have lost her calm and scolded him. I'll also say a security guard here would've helped a little bit here and the other employees who are more calm would've and maybe should've interjected here. Maybe the mask and the annoying breath and sweating from it and her inexperience with handling disgruntled and angry customers is probably why she didn't handle the situation well.