What is absolutely irresistible to girls?

[Hello from Russia]

 

Edited June 17, 2023 by Hello from Russia

[Lila9]

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Psychological health is a dynamic spectrum there is no precise finishing line to self development and there is often a discrepancy between who a person thinks they are and what they actually respond to.  All humans have the capacity to be intuitive. This idea that women even the most developed possess an intuition that enables them to identify and avoid toxic individuals does not seem to match the reality of what is actually happening day to day. What is true is that negative assumptions are made about unattractive men before they even have a chance to show their personality and positive quality. While they seem to miss red flags in attractive men. So this 'intuition' seems to exist to filter unattractive men out of the dating pool and then to justify this filtering undesirable men are vilified e.g "you are not really nice", "it's your personality, "your a horrible person, women can tell" etc 

I didn't say that only women can be intuitive. I said that intuition is a sign of a successful integration of the feminine side, just as logic is an integration of the masculine side. Men can integrate their feminine side, and women can integrate their masculine side.

Many unattractive men lack social skills, social calibration, tact, empathy, and integration of traits that facilitate connections between humans. They might have a type of humor that comes across as toxic to women, but they are unaware of this because they surround themselves with guys who constantly validate their immature sense of humor.

Many men are unattractive because they hold limiting beliefs and have unhealed trauma that they refuse to acknowledge and properly address. It's easier for them to deny their emotions and mental health issues, which negatively affect their lives and relationships with women, and instead blame women for not wanting to date men who are mentally unstable. Taking responsibility, introspecting, and doing inner work would be more beneficial.

There are good-looking guys who are alone and struggle with dating because their social skills and social calibration are low, and they don't know how to establish basic human connections. Looks and conventional attractiveness cannot compensate for that.

I'm not saying that women are perfect at forming connections these days, but as social creatures, we are always more drawn to people who have good social skills and calibration, even if we ourselves lack social skills and feel socially awkward.

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

On a macro level perception of beauty is not very subjective. Modern dating would look very different if women actually chose men based on whether she feels safe, loved, protected, sexy, and feminine in his presence. The majority of women are attracted to a minority of men, the stark difference between the love lives of the most sexually/romantically successful men is not due to maturity, kindness and all the supposed qualities that don't really come into play realistically until you are actually in a relationship.

Most people are of average appearance. Average-looking men are attractive to average-looking women. It's not a problem for an average-looking man to find an average-looking girlfriend, as long as he has basic social skills and knows how to form an emotional bond with people.

It's known that people we like or have an emotional bond with appear more beautiful and attractive to us compared to those we dislike or have no emotional bond with. Therefore, an average-looking man or an average-looking woman might appear as the most beautiful creatures in the world to their partners who are emotionally bonded with them. Emotions, the way we feel about an individual affect our perception of their beauty and the level of attraction.

 Women are always seeking for men who make them feels safe, feminine, loved, sexy and protected, men who are emotionally and psychologically mature, but there are not many men like that. Many men are still have loads of immaturity and misogynistic beliefs about women, and that itself in our era is very dark and unappealing for women.

 

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Women don't really need men today they can have successful, productive lives and even have children all without the involvement of a man. So primal attraction has become the most important factor to whether two people will become involved with each other, most men without the artificial framework that patriarchy provided do not have the natural desirability to really have a chance

Women do need men, women have always needed men, and men have always needed women.

But women don't need men who are misogynistic, provide no value, are immature, lack the ability to form intimate connections, lack social calibration, are terrible fathers, exhibit toxic masculine traits, or have a victim mentality.

When many men act in such ways due to the permission granted by the patriarchy, which allows men to behave however they want without facing severe consequences, and when stereotypical and sexist beliefs about women are considered the "absolute truth" by so many men, it's understandable from a woman's perspective to prefer avoiding men as much as possible if the majority act in such manners. It's better to be an independent woman and remain single throughout life than to be with such types of men.

From my own experiences as a woman, I have encountered instances where some men have shown disrespect, dismissiveness, and toxicity towards me without any apparent reason, simply because I exist as a woman and they harbor hatred towards women.

Because of such experiences, as a woman, I would think a thousand times before becoming intimate with or dating someone. And then, the same type of men who treated me poorly without reason would label me as picky and shallow because I refuse to tolerate their manipulative behavior and abuse.

What do they expect? They receive the treatment they deserve from women.

Many of them wear a mask of niceness, but they are rotten inside, attempting to manipulate women into conforming to their desires. This is evident to women, particularly those who possess strong intuition. That's why I wouldn't consider their fake niceness as true kindness.

Genuine kindness towards women, stemming from basic human compassion and integrity, is not as prevalent in men as the façade of kindness, which is niceness.

It's time for men to change and evolve beyond the patriarchal framework. Women have already abandoned it, so men should not hold onto it tightly either. There is a better way for men and women to coexist without the patriarchy, but because many men still cling to it so tightly, we have yet to achieve it.

Life is dynamic, and we are in a constant state of evolution. Ideas, concepts, and paradigms are always changing, so let them be.

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

On a macro level the masculine is being to challenged to reevaluate it's role. I believe many men who are struggling are not far away from being able to have great love lives, with minor adjustments in grooming, perspective, style etc they can do well. Unfortunately a large number of men way more than it is comfortable to admit do not have a chance and lying to them only creates more resent and bitterness. There are other ways to live fulfilling lives we have calculus and the sistine chapel because of men who completely devoted themselves to their art/craft. So each individual man has to take honest inventory of himself with unflinching honesty, ask himself "who am I", what do I want", "What has been the pattern of my life up to this point" and "what can I control"

They have a chance. They have many chances to find love and engage in sexual relationships, but not on their own terms anymore, as it was in the past. They can no longer behave like grown children and expect women to tolerate such behavior.

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Men are absolutely not entitled to hot chicks nor do the vast majority feel they are entitled to hot chicks, this is a big myth and I have to say it is  borderline gaslighting used to shut down conversation. The quiet plain girl down the road and the shy girl in the library are just as unreachable for most men as a supermodel there is little discernible difference. This is one of the most hurtful myths, the vast majority of men struggling are not where they are because they are chasing Bella Hadid wannabes it is a terrible lie that has to stop, regular women get attention but it is not the attention they want from the top men. They consider men on their level invisible.

This is not a myth because I have heard countless times how average men discuss women's appearances using numerical ratings, how they judge specific body parts and mock them when they do not meet societal beauty standards. There is a valid reason why women subject themselves to dangerous procedures in order to conform to conventional standards of beauty. The pressure to do so does not arise out of nowhere.

6 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I agree men are not victims but they are absolutely being lied to and gaslighted. It is easy to speak of not seeking validation from sex if you have never dealt with constant rejection and shaming before you even reach adulthood. The essence of human beings is not a house with separate rooms isolated from each other figuratively speaking, every room of our essence is connected to the other there is no separation so while sexuality does not account for the overall well being and development of a person it is as vital as the psychological and emotional parts of ourselves and there is a constant feedback loop. True development does not really take place until sexuality is integrated and that is not done by ignoring it.

To say it is just about validating masculinity is dismissive and not even close to the angle I am coming from. Most men I have to reiterate are not where they are because of a yearning for attractive individuals, the dating game is brutal for most men and most are bought down to earth very quickly.

Men are sexually rejected because they lack the knowledge of how to build sexual tension with women. In highly patriarchal societies, men do not need to create sexual tension as marriages are arranged and sex is expected.

However, in a post-patriarchal society, men need to make an effort to learn how to generate sexual tension with women.

Instead of complaining about sexual rejection, it is better to take action and learn how to create sexual tension with women and embrace one's own sexuality. Women have sexual desires just like men, and in order to arouse them sexually, men need to communicate this in a subtle and non-aggressive manner. Many men either approach sex too directly or are sexually repressed. Both approaches fail to arouse women sexually, with the former coming across as harassment and making women feel like prostitutes.

Many men lack the knowledge of being skillful in bed and tend to be selfish in their approach, relying solely on their own satisfaction. They mistakenly believe that women cannot or should not enjoy sex as well. They view sex as something women give rather than a mutually enjoyable experience between consenting individuals for their mutual pleasure.

Men hold contradictory beliefs and double standards like desiring women who are skilled in bed but without any sexual experience.

Numerous men have deeply ingrained and misguided beliefs about sex that they refuse to question or improve upon.

I agree that sexual development is a part of spiritual development, the two are interconnected. Being spiritually developed enhances one's sex life, making it more profound, joyful, and meaningful. When an individual is spiritually developed, they perceive sex differently compared to those who are not, and this can be highly attractive to many women. We typically seek men who view sex as something meaningful and deep rather than something dirty and degrading that women "give" to them because they are "bad whores".

8 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I agree a spiritual ego is not good but we are not really talking about that, most men have not reached the level of development to even have a spiritual ego. I have never met a man with a big ego who struggles with women whether that is a spiritual ego, an ego based on status, wealth looks etc A big ego healthy or not does not impede on a man's romantic success with 'psychologically healthy' or unhealthy women. If spiritual ego is so bad then why do women fall in love with cult leaders?

If a man has a weak ego, he should strive to balance it by improving his confidence and self-esteem, and also by becoming slightly more self-centered. Engaging in trauma healing might be helpful as well.

On the other hand, if a man has an excessively inflated ego, he would attract weak, unhealthy, and unstable women. He would not be able to attract the woman of his dreams. Instead, he would attract "safe" women whom he can control but never truly fall in love with, as he is afraid of vulnerability in falling in love is a very vulnerable act. Being vulnerable is something he avoids at all costs due to the risk of rejection and humiliation, which are his greatest fears stemming from his grandiose ego. He would demonize and fear women with whom he could genuinely fall in love.

Sure, cult leaders have been successful in manipulating vulnerable women due to their poor judgment, but does that mean that all men need to have big egos to make women fall for them? No, having a healthy sense of ego is sufficient.

8 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I agree in the value and importance of all those practices you listed. Yes personal growth and developing a relationship with source are very important no disagreement there. I find the idea of "true spirituality" dubious. I think presence and objectivity are more important than humility or arrogance there are seasons in an individual's life where humility is necessary and there are seasons where a bit of arrogance is necessary, perhaps to complete an unlikely career move, go for that high qualification job despite not having all the credentials etc I don't think it is healthy to be an absolutist when it comes to humility.

In the absolute sense we are all spiritual beings. Donald trump is a spiritual being.

On the relative sense, there are correct and incorrect ways to spirituality develop.

The incorrect way to practice spirituality is through spiritual bypassing. This entails focusing only on the pleasant and gentle aspects of spirituality, avoiding real-life issues and survival, being overly philosophical without implementing those concepts into one's life, and being preoccupied with projecting a specific image of how a spiritual person should behave.

On the other hand, the correct way to practice spirituality involves incorporating all the aspects I mentioned and potentially more that I may have not mentioned. The key is that practicing spirituality does not guarantee that all the women in a club will be drawn to you, as they might not be at the same level of spiritual development themselves. But, it will attract women who are at a similar level and who are genuinely compatible with you, which is what truly matters at this point – finding women who are on a similar wavelength.

When I speak of humility, I refer to the kind of humility that encourages us to be curious and explore beyond the ideas and paradigms we were raised with and taught to believe as the ultimate truth. This is crucial for spiritual growth. It is incredibly humble for a person who was brought up in a Muslim environment, for example, to be open to exploring other religions and paradigms, acknowledging that Islam does not hold the exclusive claim to ultimate truth.

I am not referring to a façade of humility, where someone downplays their achievements in social settings and responds to compliments by saying, "Oh no, don't exaggerate, I'm not that great." That type of humility is a very blueish mindset.

9 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

this idea that so called genuine spirituality magnetises the authentic selves of compatible people to each other is misguided in my opinion.

You are allowed to your opinions. 

 

9 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

the old brain (amygdala) is in constant battle with the new brain (pre-fontal cortex).

Yes, but as we continue to develop, our prefrontal cortex also develops, allowing us to make more conscious decisions. Meditation is known to strengthen the prefrontal cortex. We begin with a brain that is similar to animals and gradually evolve into beings resembling humans, who in turn have the potential to evolve into entities resembling gods.

 

 

 

[Ulax]

@MarkKol I would say non-neediness/ detachment from outcome

[gettoefl]

for me it's, he brings the money she brings the honey

show me the one who wants the unemployed barely making it guy, show me the one who wants the wall-flower gal with the walmart style

she better be looking good, he better be doing good

deny it all we like, everything else is icing

we all want to continue the life of decadence we have thus far indulged in

who wants to take a step down in status and standards in the name of love?

no way! what would my parents and social media say if they saw me holding hands with such a person?

have you lost your mind!

 

 

[Raze]

14 hours ago, Lila9 said:

 

Many unattractive men lack social skills, social calibration, tact, empathy, and integration of traits that facilitate connections between humans. They might have a type of humor that comes across as toxic to women, but they are unaware of this because they surround themselves with guys who constantly validate their immature sense of humor.

But women don't need men who are misogynistic, provide no value, are immature, lack the ability to form intimate connections, lack social calibration, are terrible fathers, exhibit toxic masculine traits, or have a victim mentality.

When many men act in such ways due to the permission granted by the patriarchy, which allows men to behave however they want without facing severe consequences, and when stereotypical and sexist beliefs about women are considered the "absolute truth" by so many men, it's understandable from a woman's perspective to prefer avoiding men as much as possible if the majority act in such manners. It's better to be an independent woman and remain single throughout life than to be with such types of men.

 

The problem with your argument is you’re assuming a man’s success with women is based on his psychological health and moral values, and men aren’t successful with women because of traditional “patriarchal” beliefs.

This isn’t true. A man can be a psychologically healthy and moral person but still fail with women for other reasons. Being psychologically healthy and moral isn’t necessarily related to many of the key things that make men better with women, such as looks, height, charisma, wealth, and past experience with women. There are plenty of great guys who are psychologically healthy and morally good, but they will still struggle with women because they lack these features.

Conversely, a man can actually be psychologically unhealthy and immoral or toxic but still do better or even great with women because they do have these traits. For proof of this, see how many women are constantly complaining about the men they were with using them just for sex, cheating on them, mistreating them, or even abusing them. Those men were toxic, but were still able to attract women.

It’s the same with women. A extremely beautiful and social woman will always get more attention than a less attractive and reserved woman, even if the former is a horrible person and the latter is a saint. Perhaps the latter will end up having a better relationship long term, but when it comes to the initial attraction phase, that isn’t necessarily related to moral or healthy values.

Studies have consistently found men higher in dark triad traits (narcissism, psychopathy, and machivallenism) tend to have disproportianetly more sexual partners and even appear more attractive to women. Studies have even found women, even self proclaimed feminists, were more attracted to men who behaved in (benevolently) sexist ways.
 

What feminists call “the patriarchy” is really just traditional cultural influences. The irony is, men who are more “patriarchal” actually do far better with women. Studies find conservative and traditional men are more likely to be married, less likely to divorce, and have  more satisfying marriages. There was recently a viral tiktok of a liberal woman complaining how she can’t meet a liberal man who will take the traditional role. Women still want a man who is confident, dominant, leads, provides, and protects, that is “patriarchy”, because those are the values that persisted over time and dominated most cultures. The men who are abandoning all notion of this in favor of liberalism are doing way worse with women and in life in a multitude of ways.

Quote

This is not a myth because I have heard countless times how average men discuss women's appearances using numerical ratings, how they judge specific body parts and mock them when they do not meet societal beauty standards. There is a valid reason why women subject themselves to dangerous procedures in order to conform to conventional standards of beauty. The pressure to do so does not arise out of nowhere.

That doesn’t mean the pressure arises from men, mainstream female beauty standards are often not even related to what the average man things, surveys have been done and found the average model is actually significantly skinnier than what the most popular female body type is among men for example. 

Edited June 17, 2023 by Raze

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Perhaps thicc and small is the way to go. I personally know someone who loves that

Thick, small, big, tiny, medium, round, square, triangular, circular, oblong, hairy, bald, oval, rectangular, cubical, cylindrical, rhombotic, crescentic, spherical, pentagonal, trapezoidal, heptagonal, doesn't matter to me. Who it's attached to is what counts.

 

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, gettoefl said:

for me it's, he brings the money she brings the honey

show me the one who wants the unemployed barely making it guy, show me the one who wants the wall-flower gal with the walmart style

she better be looking good, he better be doing good

deny it all we like, everything else is icing

we all want to continue the life of decadence we have thus far indulged in

who wants to take a step down in status and standards in the name of love?

no way! what would my parents and social media say if they saw me holding hands with such a person?

have you lost your mind!

 

 

Lol..you got me jammin' over here. My cat looking at me like...so, I gotta start paying bills now..thought you were for free.???

Edited June 17, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Lila9]

25 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Thick, small, big, tiny, medium, round, square, triangular, circular, oblong, hairy, bald, oval, rectangular, cubical, cylindrical, rhombotic, crescentic, spherical, pentagonal, trapezoidal, heptagonal, doesn't matter to me. Who it's attached to is what counts.

 

Facts ?

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Lol..you got me jammin' over here. My cat looking at me like...so, I gotta start paying bills now..thought you was for free.???

i know right ... wait til you see the 12in ... the song i mean 

[Hardkill]

13 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ouch!! That hurts.

I thought women want a men who has a dick with a big girth. In fact, I've heard from a number of women that girth matters more than the length of the penis. They say that it's because a large girth fills a broader area of the inside of the vagina, whereas a dick that's really long can end up just poking the vagina so deep to point of hitting her cervix, which can be quite painful for her. 

Edited June 17, 2023 by Hardkill

[Princess Arabia]

24 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I thought women want a men who has a dick with a big girth. In fact, I've heard from a number of women that girth matters more than the length of the penis. They say that it's because a large girth fills a broader area of the inside of the vagina, whereas a dick that's really long can end up just poking the vagina so deep to point of hitting her cervix, which can be quite painful for her. 

The size of the penis is the last thing I'm concerned with. I can adapt to a man's physical attributes. It's the mental I'm more concerned with. If I had to be concerned with the right fit for me where that's concerned, I'd be searching till kingdom come. See, I'm not picky. Thats what vibrators, dildos and all sorts of sex toys are for, if needed. You can buy those, but you can't buy the abstract traits. And I can even tolerate certain behaviors because I know I'd be bringing some of my own shit to the table as long as they're not overbearing. Boundaries are different, I will not skimp on those for any reason, and I only have two concrete ones. 

[hoodrow trillson]

Big dick and height trumps all.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

Big dick and height trumps all.

Short men need love too. The shorter the bigger. Short men get a lot of girls because of their wit. They think they have to compensate for their shortness. Take notice and you'll find a lot of shorter men being funny...or trying anyway.

[hoodrow trillson]

18 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Short men need love too. The shorter the bigger. Short men get a lot of girls because of their wit. They think they have to compensate for their shortness. Take notice and you'll find a lot of shorter men being funny...or trying anyway.

No no, I'm not saying what you think I'm implying.  Short kings are definitely out there for sure.  A lot of them!

But we're talking about irresistible things—similar to what the OP felt as irresistible with that woman he met.  Charisma is paramount.  The raw physical attraction though, height and big dick is like a goldmine for the ladies.  Of course, people have preferences but this is a common preference and there's nothing wrong with that.  If they're also kind and charismatic with said qualities it's like the lottery lmao

Edited June 17, 2023 by hoodrow trillson

[Princess Arabia]

41 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

No no, I'm not saying what you think I'm implying.  Short kings are definitely out there for sure.  A lot of them!

But we're talking about irresistible things—similar to what the OP felt as irresistible with that woman he met.  Charisma is paramount.  The raw physical attraction though, height and big dick is like a goldmine for the ladies.  Of course, people have preferences but this is a common preference and there's nothing wrong with that.  If they're also kind and charismatic with said qualities it's like the lottery lmao

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're African American or black or something of that nature. Am I correct?

[hoodrow trillson]

15 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're African American or black or something of that nature. Am I correct?

Absolutely wrong.  Lol.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, hoodrow trillson said:

Absolutely wrong.  Lol.

Ok. After I said it, I thought differently after studying your profile pic. It was just a guess cause you said kings and I know  a lot of black women refer to their men as kings. 

[hoodrow trillson]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok. After I said it, I thought differently after studying your profile pic. It was just a guess cause you said kings and I know  a lot of black women refer to their men as kings. 

Lol it’s all good ? 

[gettoefl]

cant see how dick has one shred of relevance, she is already a convert to your cause way before she gets a single eye-full of those goods, if you mess up in the bedroom you dropped the ball and it's your bedroom game that needs work still nothing to with a dick

now money on the other hand, can be spotted from miles away

[Yimpa]