Being Born

[UnlovingGod]

When you are or were on the most nervrecking point in your life and were in the valley of total suffering and then you realize, how much your parents loved you. That your parents are God, that you imagined your parents, that you choose your parents. And as you wiped your memory, you gave your parents all the love in the world, with the responsibily to give you, that little crying, shitting and breast eating thing, all the love to you back. Real power is to let go of power. You risked it all, giving all your control to your rampant imagination, so you made your Parents, so that you´d be here in front of the screen and read as the words play out just to remind you every now and then.

[michaelcycle00]

Swear some of you niggas are way too damn privileged it just gives me the ick, and believe me when I tell you I'm not one to constantly berate others about their "privilege" but my goodness, who are you telling this to? My parents were and are narcissistic asf to this day... and I'm willing to bet a lot of people in this forum also didn't have great families because if they had great lives I don't think they'd be on this forum in the first place.

[UnlovingGod]

20 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Swear some of you niggas are way too damn privileged it just gives me the ick, and believe me when I tell you I'm not one to constantly berate others about their "privilege" but my goodness, who are you telling this to? My parents were and are narcissistic asf to this day... and I'm willing to bet a lot of people in this forum also didn't have great families because if they had great lives I don't think they'd be on this forum in the first place.

Don't conflate the relative with the absolute. My parents divorced, my mother has some narcistic trades, while my dad had various psychosis. If I were in a blaming situation, I could make up all sorts of shit my parents did and make them seem worse than Hitler. I'm pointing to you, that maybe you chose your parents activly with all their defects and you are just not understanding enough of your whole Situation, which is why you are filled with so much self hatred.

And if I could give a tip in something more relative and not absolute.

Please don't say the n-word as if it is just slang. I mean I don't really care, but there are a lot of people that it could trigger something, as it is a hard word that can come across as a form of domination towards those, who have really felt systemic exclusion to society. Imagine being scared by your heritage and being dominated your whole Life with this big association "nigga". If you want to scream your shadow side, go to the life journal section or something, as we live in a society. And there you can rant, with a post like "I want to scream my shadow side".

I was exactly in your position two years ago...

Edited June 13, 2023 by UnlovingGod

[Yimpa]

@UnlovingGod You are very mature in your love and communication. Great work

[UnlovingGod]

Just now, Yimpa said:

@UnlovingGod You are very mature in your love and communication. Great work

Thank you :). Hard spiritual work, and consistency. I think a lot of people here, that are filled with self hatred, actually do put a lot of hard work and are consistent and have quite a lot of talent. It's just a matter of time to settle in all those awakings and harvesting the fruits, I myself am just getting to the fruits of this work. 

Just now, Yimpa said:

@UnlovingGod

[michaelcycle00]

3 hours ago, UnlovingGod said:

Don't conflate the relative with the absolute.

More like be specific so we don’t have to guess. 

What is there to understand about my situation other than the obvious? Seriously, tell me. My parents are literally abusers. What, do you want me to just forgive them and be alright with what they’ve done and still do to me so I can learn some supposed Godly lesson? Do you let others take advantage of you?

I’m not filled with self-hatred because of a lack of understanding, it’s more like I understand it all too well for my own good. And if anything, what I truly hate is the world and not myself, so you’re wrong there as well.

Also please don’t come at me with that petty “n-word is offensive” bs, they literally say it themselves all the time. They just turn it into an ego trip to police who can and cannot say it to try to justify violent actions. That’s all it is so let’s not perpetuate this stupidity in a spiritual forum where these low consciousness people and their views have no business in.

I mean just take a look at your hypocrisy, you defend the usage of a word saying it dominates someone’s entire life but yet you’ll tell me I lack the understanding of how my father hitting me, forcing me and humiliating me and my mother insulting me my entire life was somehow out of love and for the better. Give me a break… 

 

 

[Hojo]

We create our parents to put us in suffering. When I was 3 or 4 I would constantly have nightmares that my mother was a demon because she was bi polar. I knew it when I was 4 and created a dream to tell me what was happening

[UnlovingGod]

6 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

More like be specific so we don’t have to guess. 

What is there to understand about my situation other than the obvious? Seriously, tell me. My parents are literally abusers. What, do you want me to just forgive them and be alright with what they’ve done and still do to me so I can learn some supposed Godly lesson? Do you let others take advantage of you?

I’m not filled with self-hatred because of a lack of understanding, it’s more like I understand it all too well for my own good. And if anything, what I truly hate is the world and not myself, so you’re wrong there as well.

Also please don’t come at me with that petty “n-word is offensive” bs, they literally say it themselves all the time. They just turn it into an ego trip to police who can and cannot say it to try to justify violent actions. That’s all it is so let’s not perpetuate this stupidity in a spiritual forum where these low consciousness people and their views have no business in.

I mean just take a look at your hypocrisy, you defend the usage of a word saying it dominates someone’s entire life but yet you’ll tell me I lack the understanding of how my father hitting me, forcing me and humiliating me and my mother insulting me my entire life was somehow out of love and for the better. Give me a break… 

 

 

So you think my life was just flowers and shit. We all suffer, A LOT. Don't make this a competition who suffered more and loath yourself that you somehow won this thing... That's why you are suffering so much, of course, but you have overvalued your understanding, it's like a stock bubble, that has to burst. You are in no position to act arrogant. Get some humility before it bursts and you get a massive psychosis. Get a therapist. The signs are all over your words, this will be my final response, as I have empathy for you and want to help you.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, UnlovingGod said:

The signs are all over your words, this will be my final response, as I have empathy for you and want to help you.

The mature thing to do is to not help him.

Paradoxical, huh?

[michaelcycle00]

@UnlovingGod I don’t know how your life was and I don’t think it’s a competition nor do I overvalue my understanding, in fact I was waiting for you to explain where I lack understanding of my situation but you didn’t do that. Now you make a diagnosis off a few texts and say I have psychosis because I seem arrogant and mask it with an “I care” to try to discredit what I said and pretend you’re the bigger man when you just wanna win the argument. Lol, let’s just leave it here. 
 

@Yimpa the guy farming posts through silly and useless replies is gonna talk about maturity…

Edited June 13, 2023 by michaelcycle00

[Yimpa]

@michaelcycle00

 

[Breakingthewall]

@michaelcycle00 the issue is complicated. relative reality sucks. No need to review it again. and it can be much worse, they can make you a slave and force you to work with whips, or torture you for fun. existence is a true enigma, spirituality is going beyond the relative, undoing the enigma. You are tied to the relative, like everyone else. and most of those who say they have transcended are deceived. since you have had a particularly unpleasant experience, you have more options to go further.

[michaelcycle00]

On 6/14/2023 at 1:28 AM, Breakingthewall said:

@michaelcycle00 the issue is complicated. relative reality sucks. No need to review it again. and it can be much worse, they can make you a slave and force you to work with whips, or torture you for fun. existence is a true enigma, spirituality is going beyond the relative, undoing the enigma. You are tied to the relative, like everyone else. and most of those who say they have transcended are deceived. since you have had a particularly unpleasant experience, you have more options to go further.

What options do I have?

[Breakingthewall]

5 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

What options do I have?

you have to transcend the relative and really open yourself to existence. in a real way, go further. If not, you're in hell. human life is crazy, everyone is locked in their capsule using thousands of avoidance micro-tactics to function day by day, living in complete stupidity, waiting for old age and death. If they did not use avoidance, the vital depression would be complete.

what we have to do is truly open ourselves to the now, to reality, to what we are. this is real. right now you are, and what you are is pure existence. trying to mentally grasp this doesn't work, you have to open up. In my case, what has worked (to the extent that it has worked, I'm still working on it) is, first of all, complete will to do it, without reservations. I want to open myself totally, give myself totally. and then, the means you use: deconstruction of mental patterns, meditating for hours every day, even if it's dirty meditation, it's getting better, and psychedelics, a lot, especially 5 meo, and also mushrooms and thc. it is a blind path. nothing Leo sad, or I read, or any guru is nothing, no one has ever awakened as far as I am concerned, I am alone in this, there is nothing and no one to lean on. it is total openness, total surrender. you dare? you better, because there is no other way

[michaelcycle00]

@Breakingthewall yeah that's the plan, I'm saving up to be able to afford Psychs but these 3rd-world wages aren't cutting it too well as you can imagine. Meditation is not really a possibility for me right now so I'm just gonna keep on winging it as much as I can.