Stop Being A Nice Guy

[FingerSide]

Hello there! For years i had some issues in my intimate relationships. I tried to solve them, and even got some results, but something was wrong. It's like treat the symptoms but not the cause of disease. And then in video "How to have amazing sex" i heard Leo said something like "In daily life we won't be with girl a nice guy", and then it clicked. I wondered "Maybe it is what i'm actually do with girls?". I've googled it and found "Nice guy syndrome", read some articles and in the most cases i've recognised myself(some things won't match because of my attempts to solve the problems). Now i can see the core reasons of my actions and started to change my behaviour, but i don't know am i doing it in a right way.

Maybe you guys have some advice how to deal with it?

Thank you and sorry for my English.

Edited February 13, 2016 by FingerSide

[Jesper]

Being Mr. Nice Guy is also one of my biggest things that I have to overcome (and I think I'm slowly getting rid of it).

Where it comes from: this might ofcourse be different for different people, but in my case I think it ultimately comes from fear of being rejected, fear of what other people might think of me, and fear of not fitting in.

Me being Mr. Nice Guy started long ago, in highschool. I thought that if I would just be as nice and kind as I could be to girls and do everything for the girl that I had a crush on, she would love me. But it didn't work like that. What happened is that she would make me do all kinds of stupid stuff and then she took off with some bad guy, who was smoking and doing bad things. I didn't understand how it was possible that she didn't love me when I was being perfectly nice and doing everything for her and how it was possible that she loved that bad guy.

Being Mr. Nice Guy totally does not work with women. Don't try to be nice and a gentleman.

Have a look at these videos from Leo:

What Women Want In A Man - 5 Factors That Hook Women Like Crack

How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You

Edited February 13, 2016 by Jesper

[Guest]

If you don't be a nice guy you'll get the women who don't matter.

If you be yourself you'll find a real woman. If you're a nice person, don't change yourself. It's rare to find nice people and also women don't like fake people. (But many of them are good at faking  )

[DanoDMano]

Be a nice guy and you'll meet nice caring women. Don't be the nice guy and you'll meet.... well women. You decide what type you want and go from there. If your kind, honest and sincere you won't like the latter very much. You might want to change who you are for this, but why in the world would you want to do that? Just get your dick wet? It's meaningless and shallow in my opinion.  

[kalter000]

@FingerSide You care too much what girls would think of you. Instead of being authentic and true to yourself, you are putting this facade of "niceness" as a coping mechanism. This is highly off putting. Don't compensate lack of confidence with being fake nice. Do introspection into the core reasons of this behavior and destroy this wall.

But you can be nice, if this is coming from genuine place and doesn't diminish your value as a man. That way you would become attractive.

[JevinR]

Read No More Mr.Nice guy