How to get sexual and emotional needs met while single

[Raze]

3 hours ago, somegirl said:

@BlessedLion It's not a problem to put up energy and dress well, it's that finding guys I would actually wanna be/sleep with happens not so often.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGcKh91O72Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC2ZiPfwf1M

 

Edited June 11, 2023 by Raze

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-06-10 at 0:04 PM, Chives99 said:

massage parlours and escorts are great if u want to get your rocks off, but it wont provide an emotional connection although you can chit chat with them to build social skills and have nice conversation.

What is up with people so casually suggesting escorts and prostitutes as an alternative 

there is something about it that ignites a rage somewhere inside me

how can you not  see clearly how incredibly exploitative this industry is and how buying sex is contributing to this exploitation . Don’t people have empathy for the suffering of these people (mostly women), or are people just so blind to it.

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-06-10 at 1:40 PM, Raze said:

There was a study that found women who didn’t masturbate or think about sex desired it less while single 

What caused what tho ? 

did they masturbate less and think about sex less because they desired it less - or the reverse

not making sense

[BlessedLion]

5 hours ago, somegirl said:

@BlessedLion It's not a problem to put up energy and dress well, it's that finding guys I would actually wanna be/sleep with happens not so often.  

I feel ya.

 

So, what kind of guy do you want to be with? And where do these guys hang out?

Maybe you'll find a cool guy in an unexpected place. Do you do any social events in real life? 

My suggestion on dressing up and putting the energy out was just the harsh truth of attraction, to get guys to approach you in a romantic way, unfortunately that's what will work best.

 

So then you go to social events, putting out an open and light energy, and then wait until the right guy approaches. Sitting at home or not taking action will just keep you in a drought.

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-06-10 at 10:11 PM, Salvijus said:

If you stay upfront about your desires and let it radiate, there's a big chance you'll manifest it in your life pretty fast. This thread itself is like a beaming sex magnet

I swear to god how can people not sense the raw sexual energy in this entire thread it’s so obvious it’s hilarious ?

[integral]

2 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I swear to god how can people not sense the raw sexual energy in this entire thread it’s so obvious it’s hilarious ?

Its not, you guys are desperate.

Edited June 11, 2023 by integral

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, integral said:

It’s not, you guys are desperate.

Im a woman but this still stung ngl 

[integral]

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Im a woman but this still stung ngl 

?Sorry about that, the issue is its wrong to make this thread sexual because it supressed the very few women on the here from talking freely.

Imagine if every time a man had a serious question the commenters made sexual remarks and completely ignore the issue. 

Edited June 11, 2023 by integral

[Sugarcoat]

17 minutes ago, integral said:

?Sorry about that, the issue is its wrong to make this thread sexual because it supressed the very few women on the here from talking freely.

Imagine if every time a man had a serious question the commenters made sexual remarks and completely ignore the issue. 

Well the place I’m coming from when I’m pointing it out is not at all from the same those cringy men are coming from (although I can be quite cringe myself haha)

 

this woman even dmd me personally, I’m just mentioning  that since it shows that I managed to convey the “openness” in my responses successfully

 

if someone reads what I say and interpret it in another way, that’s on them . But it’s still on me in a way to communicate my energy properly which is something I’m continuously working on . I see your point tho and will keep it in mind 

Edited June 11, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[integral]

@Sugarcoat All good, I interpreted it as if you where a man in need haha, misunderstanding. 

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, integral said:

@Sugarcoat All good, I interpreted it as if you where a man in need haha, misunderstanding. 

Totally understandable hahah you’re doing your job well here 

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

Maybe you'll find a cool guy in an unexpected place. Do you do any social events in real life? 

Kinda counting on that. Cause I always go out, but places I go to don't really have guys I am into. 

I think guys I like are all online, in other towns or something ? 

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

So, what kind of guy do you want to be with?

Kinda answered that one in another comment but basically... Handsome guy, who is adventurous, plays an instument and is ambitious and open-minded ?

These kind of guys can only be found in some kind of nature camps or something, I would assume. 

Or in the gym. Or on music festivals. 

Edited June 11, 2023 by somegirl

[somegirl]

@integral How can one not feel safe next to a moderator like you ?

but yeah, @Sugarcoat is all good ? 

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, somegirl said:

@integral How can one not feel safe next to a moderator like you ?

but yeah, @Sugarcoat is all good ? 

??

[Chives99]

2 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

What is up with people so casually suggesting escorts and prostitutes as an alternative 

there is something about it that ignites a rage somewhere inside me

how can you not  see clearly how incredibly exploitative this industry is and how buying sex is contributing to this exploitation . Don’t people have empathy for the suffering of these people (mostly women), or are people just so blind to it.

just a bit of consensual fun between adults, whats the problem?

[Sugarcoat]

8 hours ago, Chives99 said:

just a bit of consensual fun between adults, whats the problem?

Consensual fun for whom tho?

You think the average prostitute experiences prostitution as “consensual fun”? 

image walking into some room, there is a woman there who you have no clue what situation she is in or what her story is, she could have a history of abuse and using prostitution to finance some hard drug addiction or something. There you are all hard and excited and the only reason you get to have sex with her is because you used your money but you don’t actually know if she truly wants it behind the persona she is putting on. How is this a desirable situation one would wanna be in? Who would want to be this man I’m describing? I don’t know but if I’m gonna engage sexually with someone I wanna sense for sure that they are enjoying it too or otherwise it would totally kill any excitement in me 

I seriously think one has to be severely detached from one’s empathic ability or something to be able to buy sex from the average prostitute. Or just have an extremely misguided impression of the industry. It’s not rocket science . 
 

The average prostitute is in it coming from a vulnerable situation, wether financial, drugs, abuse etc mental illness,  to buy sex is essentially to take advantage of someone in a vulnerable situation who I bet you 99% of them don’t want to do it actually. You can do your own research into this but honestly it’s not necessary see this. 
 

I’m  not judging I sympathize with men who struggle to get sex but that struggle is far far weaker imo than the struggle of the average prostitute 

 

[Chives99]

I'm not talking about engaging with drug users , they're rather unpleasant anyway that need help getting off it, you can certainly do research and find reputable sources where the woman is doing it part time as something extra and enjoys the thrill of meeting new people and is very sexual . In the latter it's really no different than porn 

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m  not judging I sympathize with men who struggle to get sex but that struggle is far far weaker imo than the struggle of the average prostitute 

Depends. You don't know how strong the male drive for sex is, nor what a lack of sex can make a man feel, and neither of us (I'm guessing) know how the average prostitute suffers.

Suffering is very a hard thing to quantify. Imagine an unattractive guy with zero confidence who is 30, a virgin, and has never been loved by anyone; I could easily see that person suffering just as much as an average prostitute, maybe more.

To back that up; there is a statistic that virgin men in their late teens and 20s are an exceptionally high suicide risk, on the order of 4x more likely than women or non-virgin men.

To be clear I think prostitution is generally bad in most cases and I would never use one, although there are likely women who get into it and enjoy it. Think sugar daddy type relationships. There are no men who enjoy being a 30 year old unloved virgin.

My point is that comparing suffering of two groups like this can be hard, since no one has experienced both situations.

Edited June 12, 2023 by something_else

[Javfly33]

On 10/06/2023 at 2:21 AM, somegirl said:

So I am right now still single and working on myself and healing until I meet the guy I would wanna be with.

Though I noticed I miss and crave great sex so much.

I can work on self-love, spend time with myself, give myself compliments, even hug myself, but I basically NEED someone to fullfill my sexual needs. So what can I do to compensate for that need I have while single?

P.s. Not into one night stands or having f buddies. 

@somegirl This is pathetic, honestly. 

If you have a bf or a f buddy, then sure have sex and enjoy it.

But if not, have some respect for yourself and don't say you 'need' sex. For god´s sake's, are you conscious you are talking about a survival process?

There are people that go a lifetime withouth sex, and they don't 'need it'.

Sex its something you can do, but you don't need it. 

There is no such a thing as 'sexual need'. You are talking about a compulsion. You are glamorising a compulsion. 

You can do better than this. Duh. 

 

Edited June 12, 2023 by Javfly33

[something_else]

1 minute ago, Javfly33 said:

@somegirl This is pathetic, honestly. 

If you have a bf or a f buddy, then sure have sex and enjoy it.

But if not, have some respect for yourself and don't say you 'need' sex. For god´s sake's, are you conscious you are talking about a survival process?

There are people that go a lifetime withouth sex, and they don't 'need it'.

Sex its something you can do, but you don't need it. 

There is no such a thing as 'sexual need'. You are talking about a compulsion. You are glamorising a compulsion. 

You can do better than this. Duh. 

 

You just sound really bitter here mate 

Sex is absolutely a need for the majority of people. The people who go a lifetime without sex are either miserable, or very exceptional.